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Erin tries to get Bryan to go to Burning Man and we all learn about Brigham Young's... more »
Published May 20, 2014 44k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

(ERIN): THIS IS
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.
(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,
(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,
(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND POLITICS,
(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,
(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
I BROUGHT YOU A TICKET.
TO WHERE, ANYWHERE?
WE'RE GOING TO BURNING MAN!
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO?
NOT IN TEN MILLION YEARS... YOU
WOULD HAVE TO GIVE ME A
MILLION DOLLARS, AND PROMISE
ME THE AIR TO LIKE-- THE FERRIS
WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
H E I R?
YOU WOULD HAVE TO GIVE ME
EVERY HAIR THAT'S EVER BEEN LEFT ON A
FERRIS WHEEL.
OH YEAH.
PLUS, A MILLION DOLLARS
FOR ME TO DO THAT.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, IT'S SO,
BUT HERE'S WHAT'S FUN ABOUT IT,
IT'S DUSTY...
NO.
THEY HAVE CATERPILLARS
THAT FIT 300 PEOPLE.
WHAT IS THAT? I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS. LIKE THE...
IT'S A CATERPILLAR MACHINE.
WHAT IS IT...?
HAVEN'T YOU SEEN WILD WILD WEST STARING WILL SMITH?
OF COURSE. I MEAN THAT'S
THE ONLY MOVIE I'VE SEEN.
THAT'S ALL THAT BURNING MAN IS.
IS THAT MOVIE?
WILL STOCKARD CHANNING BE THERE?
MM-HMM.
OK, THEN YES.
SHE'S GOING TO BE REAL DUSTY.
SHE'S GOING TO HAVE HER
MYSTERY AND MATADOR GOGGLES ON.
YEAH.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SHOW?
NO.
THE PICKUP ARTIST ON VH1?
OH YEAH.
REMEMBER THAT GUY WHO
WORE LIKE MESH SHIRTS--
YEAH.
WITH LIKE-- FULL MESH, VERY
THIN, AND HE WAS LIKE A AN
EX-MAGICIAN.
MM-HMM.
(ERIN): FELT TOP HAT, AVIATOR
GOGGLES, ON THE HAT IN CASE HE
NEEDS THEM RIGHT. PLOP THEM ON.
THAT SHOW WAS BEAUTIFUL,
BUT DID YOU EVER SEE PRETTY IN PINK?
HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT?
-THE MOVIE?
-MM-HMM.
OR THE LIPSTICK COLOR?
NO.
OR THE SC COLOR? THE BLUSH.
-YEAH. THE MOVIE.
-OK.
MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THAT
MOVIE IS WHEN LIKE THE POPULAR GIRLS
ARE TRYING ON PROM DRESSES...
OOH.
AND ONE OF THEM GOES,
"MOM, THIS LOOKS LIKE A WEDDING DRESS."
AND HER MOTHER GOES,
"DON'T I WISH." WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR
HIGH SCHOOL DAUGHTER
TO GET MARRIED?
WELL, SHE WANTS THEM OFF THE PAYROLL.
THAT'S WHAT MY STEPDAD CALLS IT.
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED,
HE'S LIKE, "THEY'RE OFF THE PAYROLL."
THEY'RE OFF THE PAYROLL.
THANKS BUDDY.
YEAH. MY STEPDAD
ALWAYS FIST BUMPS.
BY THE WAY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT
HOW IT'S 500 DEGREES IN L.A.
RIGHT NOW?
WELL OK, LET'S NOT BE--
DEGREES.
LET'S NOT BE THE PEOPLE IN L.A.
WHO ARE LIKE, OH GOD IT'S HOT
WHEN THERES LIKE--
IT IS HOT!
--ACTUAL HEAT OUT THERE.
NO, WHERE? NAME IT.
NOT HERE--
JOE NAME IT.
YOU THINK THIS IS HOT? HOW
ABOUT RUNNING OUTSIDE IN
AUGUST HEAT AND HUMIDITY
IN HOUSTON TEXAS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ONLY FOOLS WOULD DO SOMETHING
LIKE THAT. I MEAN, WHAT AM
I DOING BESIDES LIVING? YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YEAH, YOU'RE JUST LIVING IN THE
HEAT. WHY YOU DON'T LIKE THE HEAT?
I JUST WOULD RATHER-- YOU KNOW
THEY SAY THAT YOU ALWAYS SLEEP BETTER
WHEN YOU ARE A LITTLE COOLER,
AND THEN YOU SLEEP WORSE WHEN YOU'RE--
WHO SAYS THAT?
IT'S LIKE KNOWN. THAT'S WHY YOU
LIKE THE FEELING OF PUTTING ON
BLANKETS, AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
YOU SLEEP BETTER IN THE COLD.
SOMETHING ABOUT IT--
TELL THAT TO PEOPLE IN INDIA.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M GOING
ON A MISSION FOR IN A MONTH?
OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING
MISSION BURRITOS.
NO. WELL, I'M GOING TO DO THAT TO.
YEAH.
MY WHOLE THING IS I FLY OVER
TO INDIA AND I SAY, "NEEDS TO BE
COLDER! NEEDS TO BE COLDER!"
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,
AND THEN I SEE--
AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS-- YEAH.
WELL I HAVE A TRANSLATOR.
-OH, YOU DO. OK, GOOD.
-YEAH.
WHO SCREAMS BEHIND ME.
AND WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY
CAN DO ABOUT IT EXACTLY?
HEY, NOT MY PROBLEM. I JUST
SPREAD THE GOOD WORD.
YEAH, YOU THINK THEY CAN
JUST PRAY TO THEIR ELEPHANT GOD,
AND MAKE IT ALL, MAKE
IT ALL BE COLDER?
YEAH, AND ONE TIME I OFFERED
SUGGESTION, BUT I DON'T KNOW
IF THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE IT.
WELL DID YOU PUT IT IN THAT BOX?
I SAID DO IT-- YEP, I PUT IT
IN A SUGGESTION BOX--
MM-HMM.
--RIGHT WHEN I GOT TO THE AIRPORT.
THE INDIAN SUGGESTION BOX, YEAH.
AND I SAID, DO THE DOME.
TEMPERATURE CONTROL A/C.
HAIL EVERY WEEK.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE--
BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT-- OH, IT IS.
-IT'S LIKE BIO-DOME.
-BIO-DOME.
YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
AND STEPHEN BALDWIN?
YEP.
AND THEY PLAY TWO CHARACTERS
WHO ARE BASICALLY BILL AND TED,
BUT THEY'RE STUCK IN A BIO-DOME?
YEP.
YEAH. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
GROWING WEED?
UH, I THINK IT WAS
ABOUT BEING EARTHLY.
OH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW DOLLY PARTON
CAME OUT FOR GAYS.
TODAY?
FOR GAY MARRIAGE. LIKE TODAY.
WELL, WHAT DID SHE SAY?
SHE WAS LIKE, I THINK THEY
SHOULD LOVE WHOEVER THEY WANT.
DO WHATEVER THEY WANT,
AND IN THAT INTERVIEW SHE SAID, NO
I'M NOT A LESBIAN. MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH JUDY IS LIKE
OPRAH'S RELATIONSHIP WITH GAYLE.
MMHH.
SO.
MM-HMM.
EVERYTHING OK?
I JUST LOVE THE TASTE OF
STARBUCKS TAP WATER.
OH, YOU DO.
YEAH. SO WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS FILTERED?
HOW DO THE FUCK DO I KNOW.
BECAUSE THEY ALSO SELL IT IN
A BOTTLE. THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR
THIS CUP.
YEAH.
-AND THE STRAW.
-RIGHT.
AND THE MACHINE TO MAKE THE ICE.
SO YOU'RE JUST--
SO WHY IS IT FREE?
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW IF--
I'M JUST SAYING THEY'RE RUNNING
THEIR BUSINESS INCORRECTLY.
-LISTEN. I THINK THEY'RE NOT
WORRIED ABOUT IT. THEY CHARGE
LIKE $3 DOLLARS FOR AN ICE TEA,
AND HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST THEM TO MAKE?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAID
FOR A COFFEE LAST WEEK?
LISTEN IF I HEAR IT I'M GOING TO RUN
THROUGH A WINDOW.
$6 DOLLARS.
IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
ALTERNATIVE MILK IN IT.
YEAH.
IF IT HAS ALTERNATIVE MILK IN IT,
I GET IT, THAT'S EXPENSIVE.
IT'S VERY HARD TO GET MILK OUT
OF CASHEWS. YOU KNOW?
EXACTLY. WELL, NOT REALLY. YOU JUST
HAVE TO SUCK ON THEM LONG ENOUGH.
IS THAT HOW THEY DO IT?
MM-HMM.
THEY JUST HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU FOR
EXAMPLE JUST SUCKING ON NUTS.
AND THEN YOU SAY,
"THE NUT'S TAIDING." WHICH MEANS
LACTAIDING.
YEAH.
AND THEN...
HOW DO YOU SAY THAT WITH NUT MILK IN YOUR MOUTH?
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT YOU
JUST HAVE TO KIND OF DO IT IN CODE,
JUST LIKE, (MUFFLED WORDS)
AND THEN THEY'RE LIKE,
"THE NUT'S TAIDEN?"
YEAH.
AND THEN THE PEOPLE RUN OVER.
WHO'S THE PEOPLE? OH,
THE MANAGERS? THE NUT MILK MANAGERS.
AND THEY ALL WEAR
CASHEW COSTUMES.
YEAH.
YEAH, THEY ARE ALL DRESSED
UP AS CASHEWS.
WHY IS THAT?
WELL, COMRADERY.
DON'T YOU ALL GET IT,
IF YOU GET IT? YEAH.
YEAH.
WOULD YOU EVER GO IN A HOT
AIR BALLOON, OR NO WAY?
FUCK...
(TOGETHER): NO.
ME TO.
WOULD YOU?
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.
IT'S LIKE THAT WOMAN WHO GOT
HER FEET CUT OFF AT SIX FLAGS.
WHAT?
SUPERMAN RIDE, HER FEET SLICED
OFF RIGHT AT THE ANKLE.
WELL ERIN, COLLEGE WAS FUN.
COLLEGE WAS DUMB.
OH, IT IS FUN. I'M STILL IN COLLEGE.
OH, YOU ARE? WELL, THIS
TRANSITIONS PERFECTLY INTO
BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY.
OH, YES.
BYU, A MORMAN UNIVERSITY.
I KNOW BYU.
THEY JUST RELEASED AN ONLINE
SURVEY TO STUDENTS AT BYU, THAT
SAID THIS, "THE CHURCH OF JESUS
CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS IS
CONDUCTING A FOCUS GROUP TO
BETTER UNDERSTAND YOUR VIEWS
ON MARRIAGE,
AND SAME SEX ATTRACTION."
THAT'S CODE TO ME FOR THE CHURCH
IS TRYING TO BE HIP, BUT
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE YOUNG
PEOPLE ARE UP TO.
I THOUGHT IT WAS-- WHEN I FIRST
READ IT, I THOUGHT, WELL MAYBE
THIS IS A GOOD MOVE, BECAUSE
THEY'RE LIKE HUH, WELL MAYBE...
IN MY HEAD WHEN I JUST READ
THAT PART I THOUGHT, WELL MAYBE
THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND IT.
YEAH.
MAYBE THEY ARE TRYING-- YOU'RE
RIGHT. I'M WRONG BY THE WAY.
MM-HMM.
WELL SO, THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL
QUESTION THAT THE SURVEY ASKED,
WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?
FIRST ANSWER,
I AM HETEROSEXUAL, BUT I STRUGGLE
WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION.
SO THE WORD STRUGGLE THERE. NOT GREAT.
I AM HETEROSEXUAL, AND DO NOT
STRUGGLE WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION.
SO THOSE WERE THE TWO--
NOT JUST GAY?
THOSE WERE THE TWO CHOICES FOR
WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
SO SEXUAL ORIENTATION WAS
STRAIGHT OR STRAIGHT--
MM-HMM.
--WAS BASICALLY YOUR OPTIONS.
YEAH, STRAIGHT, OR STRAIGHT, STRAIGHT LIGHT?
NO GAY--
STRAIGHT OR GAY LIGHT?
--NO GAY. NO LESBIAN. NOTHING.
NO BI-SEXUAL. NOTHING LIKE THAT.
SO THE NEW CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT
WHICH IS AN ONLINE JOURNAL
BROKE THE STORY, AND FOUND A COPY
OF THE SURVEY, AND SO THEN
AFTER THEY RELEASED THE SURVEY,
THEY CAME UP WITH A DIFFERENT QUESTION.
THE MORMONS DID.
SO THE NEW QUESTION WAS, WHAT IS
YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?
AND HERE ARE THE OPTIONS.
I CONSIDER MYSELF HETEROSEXUAL AND
I STRUGGLE WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION.
I CONSIDER MYSELF HETEROSEXUAL AND
DO NOT STRUGGLE WITH SAME-
SEX ATTRACTION.
AND, I CONSIDER MYSELF HOMOSEXUAL,
BISEXUAL, OR TRANSGENDERED.
PROBLEM HERE. TRANSGENDERED
ISN'T A PHRASE, TRANSGENDER
IS, TRANSGENDER ISN'T A S
EXUAL ORIENTATION.
-NO.
-NO.
IT'S A GENDER.
THAT'S FUNNY.
IT'S SOME PEOPLE IDENTIFY WITH
THEMSELVES WITH THAT KIND OF GENDER.
SO, AGAIN JUST DEFINITELY MISSED
THE BOAT. COMPLETELY
OFFENSIVE.
GREAT JOB BYU.
SO THAT QUESTION WAS THEN DONE
AWAY WITH, BECAUSE THEY WERE LIKE
WELL, WE FUCKED UP AGAIN.
YEAH.
THIS WAS THE NEW ONE
THEY CAME UP WITH.
AND WHEN THEY ERASED IT--
THEY WERE LIKE WE ARE NOT GIVING
UP ON THIS. WE WANT THE INFO.
SO THE NEWEST QUESTION WAS DO
YOU EXPERIENCE SAME-SEX ATTRACTION?
YES OR NO.
I FEEL LIKE THIS--
WHICH IS WHAT THEY WANTED TO
KNOW IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I GUESS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS SORT
OF THE SAME THING, JUST
DIFFERENTLY WORDED THAN...
BECAUSE BASICALLY DO YOU
EXPERIENCE SAME-SEX ATTRACTION
MEANS ARE YOU A STRAIGHT PERSON
WHO SOMETIMES HAS GAY FEELINGS.
SO WHAT IS THE RELEVANCE OF THIS?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST
PART OF THE STORY IS?
THE PERSON IN THE COPY ROOM
WHO IS LIKE, PHEW, JUST MADE
,000 THOUSAND COPIES OF
THIS SURVEY. RING, RING.
I GOTTA PRINT THEM AGAIN?
OK.
(SCREAMS)
BUT THAT PERSON IS DOING LIKE
AN INTERNSHIP WHERE THEY
GET FREE SCHOOL FOR THAT.
SO THEY-- WHAT CAN THEY DO?
NOTHING.
WELL, UM.
DON'T YOU DARE WINK AT ME, AND
DRINK FUCKING TAP WATER
AFTER SAYING SOMETHING--
GOOD.
(LAUGHS)
(ERIN COUGHS IN THE BACKGROUND)
YEAH, IT'S A BIT... KARMA'S A BITCH.
HOW YOU FEELING CHAMP?
YEAH, CAME AROUND FAST HUH?
-YEAH.
-YEAH.
DO YOU KNOW HOW-- THE BEST
THING ABOUT STARBUCKS TAP WATER?
IS THAT IT'S LIQUID KARMA?
WHEN IT COMES RIGHT OUT YOUR
NOSE WHEN YOU'RE CHOKING ON IT
YOU CAN'T EVEN FEEL IT.
JUST TASTES LIKE REGULAR
OLD BODY FUNCTION.
(EXHALES) YOU WERE SAYING.
I THINK SOMETHING HAPPENED TO
YOU DURING THAT SIP OF WATER.
I MEAN YOU'VE COME BACK A
DIFFERENT PERSON, I HAVE TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU. THIS IS NOT--
I'VE BEEN TO WAR BASICALLY. YEAH.
THIS IS SHELL SHOCKED. YOU
BASICALLY WATER BOARDED YOURSELF.
THAT'S EXACTLY-- GOD,
THOSE POOR GUYS.
I'M GOING TO FINISH THIS UP. I MEAN
IT'S SO-- IT DOESN'T EVEN
MATTER AT THIS POINT. WHO CARES.
NO, YOU SHOULD.
BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY.
SO THE MORMON CHURCH SAID IT'S
IMPORTANT TO US THAT PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND THAT THE DOCTRINE
OF THE CHURCH HAS NOT CHANGED,
AND IS NOT CHANGING. SO IT DOES
BEG THE QUESTION--
SO WHY DO THEY CARE?
YEAH. WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
WHAT THEY'RE BASICALLY SAYING
IN ALL OF THIS IS GAY PEOPLE
DON'T EXIST. THAT YOU'RE STRAIGHT
WITH GAY TENDENCIES,
AND THE CHURCH HAS A HISTORY
JUST TO BRING IT UP VERY QUICKLY, YOU KNOW
THEY DIDN'T ALLOW BLACK PEOPLE
INTO THE CHURCH UNTIL LIKE
BETWEEN 1978 AND 1980.
YEAH, OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T.
AND THEN SUDDENLY THERE WAS
A REVELATION, AND SO THE CHURCH
CHANGED IT'S DOCTRINE.
SOMEONE HEARD A VOICE OR SOMETHING?
-EXACTLY.
-YEAH.
SO THERE WAS LIKE A WHOLE THING
. SO, MAYBE AT SOME POINT
THEY'LL DO THAT ABOUT GAYS,
THAT THERE WAS THIS REVELATION, BUT
RIGHT NOW, UH, THE REVELATION
IS THAT THEY'RE-- THAT GAY
PEOPLE DON'T EXIST.
YEAH.
SO, IF YOU'RE A MORMON, WHAT A WORLD.
YEAH, AND IF YOU'RE NOT A
MORMON JUST GO TO UTAH AND LOOK
AT THE ROCKS.
SOUTH KOREA HAS THE PLASTIC
SURGERY GAME ON LOCK.
I BELIEVE YOU.
DID YOU GO THERE TO
GET SOME STUFF DONE?
WELL, I GOT THESE DONE.
YOUR ELBOWS?
YEP. BRAND NEW ELBOWS. WELL
YOU SAW HOW THE ONES FROM BEFORE.
THEY WERE LIKE TENNIS BALLS.
-YEAH.
-YEAH.
UM, SO HERE'S A FUN FACT.
IN EVERY 77 PEOPLE IN SOUTH
KOREA HAS SOME SORT
OF PLASTIC SURGERY.
YIKES.
IN 77 SO, IF YOU WENT TO THE
FUCKIN' CHEESECAKE FACTORY
ON ANY GIVEN SLOW SUNDAY.
ONLY IN LIKE 1 OF THEIR ROOMS.
YEAH, IF YOU WENT TO ONE OF THE
CHEESECAKE FACTORY ROOMS, BUT
THAT WAS SOUTH KOREA WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT THESE FACTS--
MM-HMM
--ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WOULD'VE
HAD A... (CLICKS TEETH)
OR A... (CLICKS TEETH)
OR A... (CLICKS TEETH)
OR A... (CLICKS TEETH)
OR A... (CLICKS TEETH)
IF YOU ARE REALLY UNHAPPY WITH A
PHYSICAL FEATURE OF YOURS,
AND IF YOU THINK IT WOULD IMPROVE
YOUR HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE
TO GET SOMETHING DONE ABOUT IT,
THEN I SAY GO FOR IT.
WOULD YOU GET PLASTIC SURGERY?
I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE ONE
OF THOSE FACES THAT SORT OF
LIKE, WHY WOULD I, YOU KNOW?
YEAH. SO SHOCKINGLY YOU WON'T
BELIEVE THIS, 20% PERCENT OF
WOMAN AGES 19-49 IN SEOUL ADMIT
TO GOING UNDER THE KNIFE. AND
ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PROCEDURES,
DO YOU WANT TO GUESS?
IS THE EYES.
MM-HMM.
YEAH.
-IT BUMS ME OUT.
-YEAH.
IT BUMS ME OUT THAT AN ENTIRE
RACE OF PEOPLE IS LIKE I DON'T
LIKE HOW MY EYES LOOK.
YEAH.
NOW JUST TO PUT IT INTO CONTEXT,
THERE ARE 50 MILLION
PEOPLE IN SOUTH KOREA, AND THEY
GET MORE PLASTIC SURGERY THAN
WE DO, AND WE HAVE 317 MILLION PEOPLE.
MM-HMM.
IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT LAST YEAR
THE EDUCATION MINISTRY
ISSUED A BOOKLET WARNING KOREAN
HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS OF PLASTIC
SURGERY SYNDROME. SITING MICHAEL
JACKSON, AND A LOCAL
WOMAN WHO'S ADDICTION TO PLASTIC
SURGERY LEFT HER WITH A
GROSSLY SWOLLEN FACE.
SO THEY'RE LIKE TRYING-- SO IT
SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE DOING LIKE A
SAY NO TO DRUGS CAMPAIGN, BUT
FOR PLASTIC SURGERY.
FOR PLASTIC SURGERY. IT'S FUNNY
BECAUSE I ACTUALLY DON'T--
MAYBE I'M WRONG, BUT I FEEL LIKE
WHEN PEOPLE REALLY MESS
WITH THEIR FACES HERE THEY'RE
ON EVERY MAGAZINE FOR THE WRONG
REASONS. LIKE, LOOK HOW BAD
THEY FUCKED UP THEIR FACE. THAT FACE
LOOKS CRAZY. LOOK AT THAT
DISASTER. NICOLE KIDMAN HAS
WAY TO MUCH BOTOX. THAT'S
UGLY... YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
I FEEL LIKE WHEN PEOPLE START DOING
TO MUCH OF IT, IT LOOKS
STRANGE. THE POINT OF IT I
THINK, A LOT OF TIMES, IS TO MAKE
IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVEN'T HAD
ANYTHING DONE.
WELL, I'LL GET TO THIS, BUT IT'S
REALLY DRAMATIC OVER THERE--
YEAH.
--LIKE PEOPLE ARE CHANGING
THEIR ENTIRE FACES.
RIGHT.
IT'S THEY'RE SHAVING JAW BONES.
THEY'RE OPENING EYES. THEY'RE
GETTING NOSE JOBS. UM, THEY'RE
GETTING EYBROW LIFTS. THEY'RE
GETTING ALL OF IT DONE AT THE
SAME TIME. IN GENERAL THIS IS
EFFECTING WOMAN, AND HOW
WOMAN ARE VIEWED, AND THE PRESSURE
THAT WOMAN FEEL TO STAY YOUNG,
AND STAY RELEVANT, BECAUSE OF
HOW THEIR FACE IS VIEWED.
ESPECIALLY IN SOCIETIES LIKE
THIS. GUYS ARE GETTING THE
SURGERIES, BUT IT IS MOSTLY WOMAN.
THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS THAT
PEOPLE ARE GETTING THE SURGERY
AND LOOK SO DIFFERENT THAN
THEIR OLD SELVES. IF THEY'RE
FLYING INTO SOUTH KOREA
THEY'RE GETTING STOPPED AT CUSTOMS,
BECAUSE THEIR PHOTOS DON'T MATCH.
(BRYAN): THE PASSPORTS?
(ERIN): YEAH. I'M SORRY THE
PASSPORT PHOTOS.
THEY'VE RESORTED TO HANDING OUT PLASTIC SURGERY CERTIFICATES.
THIS IS WHAT THEY SAID, WE
HAD TO COMPARE THEIR UNCORRECTED
PARTS WITH THEIR
PHOTOS VERY CAREFULLY.
SO IF YOU DIDN'T FUCK WITH YOUR
LEFT EYEBROW, ARE THOSE
EYEBROWS THE SAME?
YEAH. IT'S JUST THAT IT'S SO
EXTREME, I DON'T KNOW THAT I HAVE--
(SINGS) IT'S ALL THAT I HAVE TO
DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL.
I WOULD BE BRUNO BETTENCOURT
OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS.
JUNO... WHAT'S HIS NAME?
I DON'T REMEMBER.
WE'RE JUJU BETBEDER.
-OK.
-YEAH.
I WOULD BE HELEN SLATER,
OR WHOEVER THE HELL THE OTHER ONE
WAS.
IT WAS HELEN SLATER, YEAH.
IT JUST, YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT JUST BUMS ME OUT, LIKE I'VE HAD
PLASTIC SURGERY.
I'VE HAD A NOSE JOB.
YEAH.
I'VE HAD CHEEK IMPLANTS.
I HAD CORNEA REPLACEMENT.
I'VE HAD UM, AN EYEBROW,
BASICALLY HARVESTING. YEAH, THEY GREW
MY EYEBROWS IN A PETRI,
AND THEN PUT THEM BACK ON.
OH, AND THEN PUT
THEM ON YOUR FACE.
I'VE HAD A LOT OF PLASTIC SURGERY.
MM-HMM.
BUT I NEVER LOST ME.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I LOVE THAT. THAT SHOULD BE
THE CHILDREN'S BOOK.
I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND THE IDEA OF GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY
TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.
I REALLY DO. I'VE NEVER JUDGED
ANYONE FOR GETTING A BOOB JOB,
LIKE WITH ANYTHING IT HAS TO BE
TASTEFUL, AND LIKE SMALL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR WHOLE
FACE YOUR BASICALLY NICOLS CAGING
YOURSELF, YOU KNOW?
-IT'S FACE/OFF.
-HE LOOKS THE SAME TO ME.
OH, I SEE.
NO, IT'S FACE/OFF. YOU'RE JOHN
TRAVOLTA, TO NICHOLAS CAGE.
YOU'RE SWITCHING FACES.
MMHHH. I MEAN IT'S... YEAH...
AND UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO
BREAK INTO A PRISON TO
CLEAR YOUR BROTHER'S NAME
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
YEAH, IT'S VERY SAD AND THE
STANDARDS OF BEAUTY CLEARLY
AROUND THE WORLD ARE EXTREMELY
HIGH AND UNATTAINABLE.
BUT THE ONLY WAY PEOPLE CAN STOP
IT IS BY NOT DOING IT ANYMORE.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM, IT'S LIKE WELL
THEY'RE DOING IT. YOU HAVE FREEWILL.
I DON'T RECOMMEND THAT.
WHAT?
I WOULD NEVER RECOMMEND SOMEONE
STOPPING THE PLASTIC SURGERY.
NEVER.
I'D TELL PEOPLE ON THE STREET,
AND SAY HI, HERE'S MY CARD,
AND IT JUST SAYS, YOU NEED IT BAD.

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