Starring - Zach Galafanikis & Justin Bieber Directed by - Scott Aukerman Executive Producers - Scott Aukerman, BJ Porter & Mike Farah Producers - Sean Boyle & Ben Sheehan Cinematographer/Editor - Brian Lane Camera Operator - Aaron Ulrich Sound - Bo Sundberg for BoTown Sound Hair/MU - Jenn Osborne SFX - Chris Mills Wardrobe Stylist - Derya Derman Asst Editor: William Maxwell Production Assistants - Andrew Grissom and Parker Seaman
Zach Galifianakis: It's the right chair, trust me. Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: My name is Zach Galifianakis. My guest today is Justin Bieber.
Zach Galifianakis: Thank you, Justin, for being on.
Zach Galifianakis: It's really exciting to talk to you, especially right in the middle of your public meltdown.
Justin Bieber: You gonna say anything?
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. I just have never interviewed a seven year old before.
Zach Galifianakis: What was the last toy you got in a Happy Meal?
Justin Bieber: I don't think I've ever ordered a Happy Meal.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, me either. I don't like that junk.
Justin Bieber: Are you sure?
Zach Galifianakis: You know what I was doing when I was your age?
Justin Bieber: Finishing fourth grade?
Zach Galifianakis: Your young punk attitude is not gonna work in this interview.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you understand me, son? Okay.
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in a concert, what are you thinking on stage?
Justin Bieber: Sometimes, I'm really like damn, I wish I was watching COPS right now.
Zach Galifianakis: Mm-hmm. Do you ever accidentally sing that, instead of your lyrics? I wish I was watching COPS right now?
Justin Bieber: No. I usually, usually I'm just killing it.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it fun to be cocky?
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in the recording studio, do you ever think
Zach Galifianakis: hey, what if I don't make something sh*tty? Is that ever, does that pop into your mind
Zach Galifianakis: in the process?
Justin Bieber: The fact that I'm able to make music and inspire people,
Justin Bieber: I feel like music is a sixth sense.
Zach Galifianakis: It's like that movie?
Zach Galifianakis: You've had three hair styles. What's next for your career?
Justin Bieber: So, you think that [coughs] my hair styles are the only thing that's happened in my career?
Zach Galifianakis: Who are your celebrity friends? Who do you hang with?
Justin Bieber: Mostly, lately, Joey Behar. Pretty much it.
Zach Galifianakis: What's he like?
Justin Bieber: Cool.
Zach Galifianakis: You affectionately refer to your fans as Beaners.
Justin Bieber: No. Beliebers.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. That makes more sense.
Zach Galifianakis: You said recently that Anne Frank could have been a Belieber.
Justin Bieber: [coughs] I went to the Anne Frank Museum, and they said that she was into pop culture.
Justin Bieber: And, at the end of an over two hour visit,
Justin Bieber: I said I hope she would have been a Belieber. Not...
Zach Galifianakis: Did you mean that if the Nazis had not taken her,
Zach Galifianakis: and she lived to be in her eighties, she would have liked your music? Presumably due to loss of hearing?
Zach Galifianakis: Or, cause I can see how this could get lost in translation,
Zach Galifianakis: I think that you were talking about time travel, and that you think that if you could build a machine
Zach Galifianakis: and go back to visit Anne Frank, that she would have been a Belieber then.
Zach Galifianakis: Is that, is that true? Cause I don't know what to belieb.
Justin Bieber: I want to be a time traveler.
Zach Galifianakis: You got caught on tape peeing into a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: Here's the thing, there hasn't been a time in the last six, seven years, that I haven't urinated in a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: But, I don't film it and put it on, on internets.
Justin Bieber: Ptsh.
Zach Galifianakis: You know what? I don't like your attitude, to be quite honest.
Justin Bieber: You're mad.
Zach Galifianakis: Because! You know what? You're too young to be smoking pot,
Zach Galifianakis: and pee-peeing in buckets, and driving up and down the highway fast!
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think your mom would really mind if a stranger whipped her son!
Justin Bieber: You're not spanking me, man. Ow! What are you doing? Ah! What are you? Doing?
Zach Galifianakis: Woo!
Zach Galifianakis: I'm sorry that I did that. I don't really,
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think spanking kids is really a good thing, but you're not a child.
Zach Galifianakis: That's the point. You're not a child. So, I can hit a grown man with a belt.
Zach Galifianakis: So, who are you dating now?
Zach Galifianakis: You ever seen that Nickelodeon thing where the slime goes down?
Zach Galifianakis: I was in the wrong chair.