Black Water (Bp version)

So maybe you've heard that there's this oil spill thing going on in the Gulf Of Mexico. But don't worry... "The ocean will take care of this on its own,"... more »

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stevegoodie

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Added almost 3 years ago

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Description: So maybe you've heard that there's this oil spill thing going on in the Gulf Of Mexico. But don't worry... "The ocean will take care of this on its own," according to Rush Limbaugh. "It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is." In Rush's defense, he's only marginally stupider than most people when it comes to proposing solutions. In fact, since some of BP's actions indicate that they're smoking something, their team really should be renamed The Doobie Brothers... Want to help? Go to www.stevegoodie.com to order the CD "The Least I Can Do," $2 from each sale goes to The Environmental Defense Fund.

Categories: Clean Comedy Politics Parody

Keywords: song parody bp black water steve goodie spaff doobie brothers oil spill satire coffee disaster environmental petroleum fish birds 2012 panic widespread death disease accountable responsible

Patience is overrated...

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Well I spilled something black when my oil rig exploded The whole mess is icky, and they say I’m to blame Catfish are floatin’, all the beaches are closin’ Black water keeps rollin’ ashore, what a shame Old black water, keeps on flowin' Fill the Gulf soon, but we'll keep refinin’ BP Old black water, keeps on growin’ Executive goons, we’re nickel-and-dimin' BP Old black water, keeps on rollin’ Up the Mississippi soon, gotta keep on lyin’ BP Yeah keep on lyin’ tonight Gotta say anything, shareholders gotta think everything’s all right And our high-priced attorneys, say we ain't got no worries, at all Now if folks complain, I don’t care, don’t make no difference to me I’ll just ask Congress for a sweet ol’ bail-out Yeah, I’m gonna meet some oily bureaucrats who'd like to play along And I’ll be buying all my buddies drinks all 'round Old black water, beached petroleum Fill the Delta soon, we won’t be resignin’ BP Old black water, reachin’ Pensacola Environmental loons, they're picket-linin' BP Old black water, up to Minnesota Raise the price of crude, that's the silver linin', BP And keep on lyin’ tonight Gotta say anything, tree-huggers gotta think everything’s all right With the world at our mercy, it’s the Gulf of New Jersey, y’all We’re gonna screw up most of Dixieland ‘Less Obama gives a big ol’ helping hand We need a hand (out!) Got our hand out (hey Obama!) Some cash would be grand, that’s all we want We tried GOLF balls, top kills, Costner fans But noBODy stopped the oil from reaching land We tried a dam (damn!) Even cans of Spam (hey, we're desperate!) And we've locked and loaded a nucular bomb We're gonna smear some gunk on Dixieland Give the brown pelicans a darker tan Dixieland (tan!) Give the birds a tan (instant bronzer!) Don'tcha stress 'bout the dolphins 'cause they're all gone It's like the GULF got drunk at Disneyland Then VOMited all over Lousianne Disneyland (land!) Up to Ketchikan (and Sri Lanka!) We make Katrina look like a little cold front All the shrimp and frogs and fish be damned Soccer mama gotta fuel her minivan Caravan (van!) Honda minivan (hockey mama!) Gotta drive to the Wal-Mart all day long No need to IMport oil from Pakistan When it’s LYing all over-the-Alabama sand Screw Iran (yeah!) And Afghanistan (and Venezuela!) We'll just go to the beach and grab tar balls We gotta feed the grease monkey on your back Everybody better cut us lots of slack Cut us slack (slack!) Cut us lots of slack (hey Obama!) Yeah we knew this might happen all along