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Gay reporter Tim Kalchnor finally makes it into the Olympic Village in Sochi, and gets exactly the Russian welcome he was expecting.
Published February 20, 2014 14k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Writer/Reporter - Bryan Safi
Producer/Director - Rachel Goldenberg
Producer - Ally Hord
Coordinator - Becca Scheuer
Editor - Pat Bishop
Production Assistant - Ashley Holloway
DP - Aaron Ulrich
Gaffer - Igor Tochilnikov
BB Electric - Armando Ballesteros
Key Grip - Ian Thomas
Prod Designer - Kyle Smith
Art Assistant - Mike Stanislawski
Wardrobe - Derya Derman
Makeup - Carleigh Herbert
Sound - Alex Hutchinson
Intern - Edgar Castillo
490 Funny Votes
196 Die Votes
14,173 Views
Published February 20, 2014

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TIM KALCHNOR HAS BEEN IN SOCHI FOR THE

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LAST WEEK TO GIVE YOU AN INSIDERS VIEW OF

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THE WINTER OLYMPICS.

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TIM JOINS US NOW LIVE, FROM SOCHI.

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- WELL, JUST IN TIME FOR THE CLOSING CEREMONIES

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I'M HAPPY TO REPORT THAT I MADE IT.

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I MADE IT INTO SOCHI.

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OKAY, SO HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

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EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT.

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I TOOK EVERY PRECAUTION.

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I WALKED INTO THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE IN DISGUISE:

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BASEBALL HAT, JEANS THAT DIDN'T FIT,

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BLACK SOCKS WITH SNEAKERS.

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I RAN AWAY FROM CHILDREN AS SOON AS THEY

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CAME UP TO ME, AND THEN BRIAN BOITANO TRIED TO

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HIGH FIVE ME, AND I SHOVED HIM OUT OF THE WAY.

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I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT, BUT THEN BILLY JEAN KING

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ASKED ME, "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

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STICK SHIFT HERE?"

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I SHOWED HER, AND BAM, I'M IN JAIL.

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I HOPE I'LL BE OUT IN TIME TO COVER

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THE NEXT WINTER OLYMPICS, WHICH I ASSUME

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IS IN FUCKING DARFUR.

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SO HELP ME-- THIS IS SUCH A TIME TO CELEBRATE.

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THEY WON. THEY WON. THEY WON. AND THEY WON--

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GET ME OUT OF HERE--

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AND UM, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, ONCE YOU HIT

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ROCK BOTTOM YOU CAN ONLY GO UP FROM THERE,

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UNLESS YOU DIE, AND THEN YOU JUST GO FURTHER DOWN.

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UM, AM I GOING TO DIE?

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- ALRIGHT, THANKS TIM, TAKE CARE.

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