Hi. I’m Evelyn Eveningstar. You probably recognize me from all those Lifetime movies where women needed a lawyer to stop their deranged ex-husbands from stalking and killing them. I’m here today to tell you that you—yes, you! can pretend to have a law practice, and advertise right on the internet. Send $59.95 and you’ll receive a commercial, with your name edited in, so it looks like you too can practice law and win cases.
Choose from such winning testimonials as:
“JOHN JOHNSON” (name in subtitles): Thanks to YOUR NAME HERE, I was able to make bail and be back at work the next day!
Thanks to YOUR NAME HERE, my private sex tape gained maximum exposure. And then my career really took off!
RASKN J. QWEFENZ (name in subtitles): Right, you see, I thought I’d have to leave the country when my green card expired. But with YOUR NAME HERE, I was able to dodge the police and get a job as a drug courier for a major cartel.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY
All this can be yours! Call 1-800-YOUR NAME HERE or look us up on the web www.iwannabealawyerbutnotgotolawschool.com