Kenny Mayne gets the inside scoop at Santa Anita Park to reveal hot, insider gambling tips for the Breeders' Cup.
Published October 26, 2014 41k views More Info »
Full Credits
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Writer: Lindsay Kerns
Director: Alex Richanbach
Producer: Kate Lilly
Editor: Michael Burke
Coordinator: Becca Scheuer
DP: Matt Sweeney
B Cam Op: Mike Blevins
C Cam Op: Ray Lee
Sound: Ben Forman
Hair/MU: Emily Rae
Wardrobe: Derya Derman
PA: Ben Parks
PA: Arbel Kodesh
PA: Matt Wolf
Still Photographer: Katrina Marcinowski
CAST
As Himself: Kenny Mayne
As Himself: Peter Eurton
As Himself: Matt Chew
April Oakley: Alison Becker
As Himself: Joe Talamo
As Himself: Mike Smith
As Himself: Aaron Gryder
Sean Boyle: Dave Theune
Special Thanks:
Breeders' Cup
Santa Anita Park
Peter Rotondo
Dan Cirimele
Candie & Matt Chew
Bob Bafford
Javier Gonzalez
Randy Fowler
Freckles
Stats & Data
Transcript

(music plays)

> HI, I'M KENNY MAYNE, AND I
HOPE YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT.
OTHERWISE THIS PROJECT SUCKS
WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT.
I'M HERE AT BEAUTIFUL SANTA
ANITA RACE PARK. HOST OF THE
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS OF HORSE
RACING, KNOWN AS THE BREEDERS CUP.
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE
BREEDERS CUP. I LOVE THE ATHLETES.
I LOVE THE TINY PEOPLE WHO
RIDE THE ATHLETES. I LOVE
THE WEATHER AND THE
PAGEANTRY, THE GAMBLING, AND THE
GAMBLING. I ALSO LOVE
THE GAMBLING.
THE STAKES ARE HIGH.
HELL I MIGHT BE TOO.
REGARDLESS I'LL BE BIDDING
A SMALL FORTUNE. SOME PEOPLE
WOULD PLAY THAT BY DOING
EXHAUSTIVE RESEARCH.
ME, I'M GUNNING FOR INNUENDO,
AND RUMOR ON THE BACKSIDE.
I MIGHT EVEN STOP DOWN AND
TALK TO A HORSE. THAT'S ALWAYS
A SILLY GAG ISN'T? LET'S
GET IT TOGETHER, ALRIGHT?
SO I LIKE YOUR HORSE.
YOU HAVE A GOOD CHANCE ON THE
BREEDERS CUP TODAY?

> I GOT A FAIR SHOT.

> A FAIR SHOT?

> FAIR SHOT.

> I'M BETTING MY MONEY, SO I NEED YOU TO KNOW MORE.
THIS MIGHT BE SOME SILLY DAY
JOB FOR YOU, BUT FOR ME IT'S MAKING--

> SILLY DAY JOB, OK. UH...

> I MEAN YOU'RE OUT HERE
FEEDING HORSES A SILVER
TIN OF OATS, THAT'S--
THIS IS KENTUCKY DERBY WINNER,
CALIFORNIA CHROME.
HE HAS A HUGE WILL TO WIN.
YOU HAVE AN AMAZING PERSONALITY.
HE HAS THE BIGGEST
PENIS I'VE EVER SEEN.
YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL.

> WELL, THANK YOU.

> I WAS TALKING ABOUT
CALIFORNIA CHROME.

> OH.

> WHO'S (bleep) HORSE HERE?

> THIS IS LONDON FOLLIES.

> NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
YOU THINK THIS HORSE
HAS A SHOT?

> ABSOLUTELY.

> HE'S IN A GOOD SHOT TODAY.
THE RACE SETS UP REAL WELL FOR HIM.

> NOT ACCORDING TO THIS.
I'M GOING TO GO LOOK AT
CALIFORNIA CHROME AGAIN.
I PRETTY MUCH ZEROED OUT
TRYING TO GET INFORMATION
ABOUT HORSES. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,
HUMANS ARE HIGHER
THAN HORSES IN THE ANIMAL PECKING
ORDER. I'M GOING TO PICK A JOCKEY.
SO YOU'RE OLDER THAN HE IS?

> QUITE A BIT.

> YOU GUYS JUST STAND BACK TO BACK.

> I'M ON A HILL.

> WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE RACES?

> HOW WOULD I KNOW?

> YOU'RE A JOCKEY.
SCISSORS, PAPER, ROCK.

> ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS. OH, WAIT...

> DUH, DUH, DUH, PRESENT.

> OK, READY?

> OK.
(Together): 1, 2, 3...

> (bleep) ME.

> Jockey: I LIED.
THINGS WERE GETTING DESPERATE,
AND I'M NOT ABOVE CHEATING.
SO IT WAS TIME TO, CHEAT.

> (Ladies voice): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

> NOTHING. JUST...

> (ladies voice): ARE YOU MESSING
WITH MY HORSES SHOE?

> N-NO, I THINK YOU MISUNDERSTOOD.

> NO I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
YOU'RE COMING IN HERE,
AND YOU'RE TRYING TO USE YOUR
MAN ON THE STREET CHARM TO
GET THE INSIDE SCOOP--

> YOU THINK I'M CHARMING?

> --NO. YOU'RE THE OPPOSITE OF CHARMING.

> WHAT'S THAT WORD?

> I DON'T KNOW, AN (bleep)
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET THE INSIDE
SCOOP AND GET ONE UP
ON THE RACES, NO.

> THAT'S PRETTY FAR TO GO FROM
CHARMING TO THAT.

> STEP AWAY FROM MY HORSE.

> I DID A LITTLE SOUL SEARCHING
AND I REALIZED THAT CHICK
TRAINER WAS RIGHT.
I AM CHARMING. I FEEL PRETTY
GREAT ABOUT THAT.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO PRACTICE MY CRAFT.
GET READY FOR THE BREEDERS CUP.
YEAH THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
NOTHING MATTERS MORE THAN MY MONEY.
LET'S SEE, WE'LL TRY CHILDREN'S BIRTH DATES.
ALL MY HARD WORK LED TO THIS MOMENT.
IT WAS TIME FOR THE RACE.
COMMON 3.
GET THAT LEAD.
OPEN UP, OPEN UP...
COME ON DON'T GIVE IT UP.
GET TO THE WIRE.
(horse race announcer is heard in the stadium)
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
IF I ONLY HAD A CHILD BORN
JANUARY
RD OF 2006.
I MIGHT HAVE LOST THE BATTLE,
BUT I WASN'T GOING TO LOSE THE WAR.

> WINNERS ONLY.

> ACTUALLY (bleep) THAT.
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE THE
BATTLE EITHER.
I CAME TO THIS MACHINE, AND I
SAID 3 TO BE SECOND, AND THEN HERE
I GOT 3 TO BE FIRST, AND THAT-- SO I LOSE.

> SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU COULD
BE LYING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANTED
AND WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DID.
LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH
HERE IS.

> NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME A LIAR.

> I'M JUST SAYING THAT I DON'T
KNOW THE TRUTH.

> I'VE BEEN GOING
AROUND THIS STUPID TRACK.
NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.
YOU'RE THE GUY WHO'S SUPPOSED
TO KNOW ABOUT THE MACHINE,
AND YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW THE MACHINE.

> I KNOW ALL ABOUT
THE MACHINE.

> WRAP IT UP SO I CAN
GET ON WITH
MY LIFE.

> NOT EVEN SURE WHAT YOU
MEAN BY WRAP IT UP.

> PUT IT IN THERE AND PRESS THE
BUTTONS THAT MAKE MONEY COME OUT.

> I CAN'T PUT THE TICKETS BACK
INTO THE MACHINE. ONCE
THEY COME OUT THAT'S KINDA IT.
I CAN TELL YOU HAD A TOUGH
DAY, AND I'M HAPPY TO GIVE
YOU A FREE DRINK OR A HOT DOG.

> OK. BUT YOU GUYS
BETTER HAVE YOUR (bleep)TOGETHER
BY BREEDERS CUP.

> OK.

> SO IT TURNS OUT LADY
LUCK WASN'T ON MY SIDE TODAY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT
BEEOTCH COULDN'T KEEP ME
FROM THIS HOT DOG. UH-UH.
AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK ON BREEDER'S CUP.
EVERY RACE. STAKES ARE GOING
TO BE HIGH. RIGHT NOW,
ALL I GOT IS THIS HOT
DOG, AND I'M GOING TO EAT IT.

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