Narrated by Joel Godard (announcer from "Late Night with Conan... more »
Published June 02, 2010 1.8k views More Info »
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Written, Directed, Produced by Brian VanHooker and Steve Quistgaard. Starring Joel Godard.
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Statue of Liberty… Of DOOM! NARRATOR It is common knowledge that the Statue of Liberty was given to the United States by the French to commemorate 100 years of American independence. What is not so well known is that the gift was, in fact, a surprise present which wreaked havoc across New York City for nearly a week after its arrival. The statue, having been dropped off in the middle of the night, was first seen by American eyes on the morning of October 28, 1886 when the people of New York awoke to the terrifying image of a giant copper woman wielding a torch standing in New York harbor. Chaos swept the city. Riots, looting and violence reigned until Mayor William Russell Grace took action. He was brought out to the coast of Liberty Island and recited a formal warning on behalf of the city politely asking her to leave. He was met only with stubborn indignation. Next, the city’s wealthiest citizens gathered to pool their funds and try to buy her off. (MORE) NARRATOR (CONT’D) They created the largest pair of earrings ever made, manufactured a hand bag from a sunken Civil War Battleship and gave her a year’s subscription to Ladies Home Journal. But, the beast remained. Finally, diplomacy and bribery having failed, the NYPD concocted an elaborate plan to be lead by an elite squad of mounted police officers who would paddle out to the island and utilize all of the city’s firepower and simultaneously direct it at the statue while the FDNY would spray over 30,000 gallons of water at the enemy’s primary weapon, the torch. The attack, which turned out to be a complete disaster, not only left little more than a scratch on the woman, but also rendered the city completely defenseless. Over the next two days over twenty thousand New Yorkers fled the city sure that it would soon be invaded by dozens of other giant metal women making radical demands like equal wages and the right to vote. It wasn’t until the mayor received an angry phone call from the President of France scolding us for being ungrateful, that the statue’s true origin was revealed. (MORE) NARRATOR (CONT’D) Since then, it has been a celebrated American Landmark and its dark origin has been long since forgotten.