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Ya'll herd bout this dumass flite tendent frum Jet Blues? I wish Ida been on that... more »
Published September 07, 2010 650 views More Info »
Hey!
Drunkin' drankin' buddies...
I'm How I Seize It
and this here's Loretta Jenkins
and goddamn I got something I'm pissed off
to talk about y'all today.
I knowed y'all can relate to it.
You heard it over and ove
and over and over and over...
I'm talkin' about that-
That- that- that-
prissy little bitch...
that- that- that-
from that airline...
slippin', slidin',
crazy Jet Blue mother fucker.
Mmm!
I tell you what...
Did y'all see his 'ex-wife?'
If your husband sang showtunes in the showe
and he likes to watch Lifetime movies
and Reese Witherspoon movies
and he likes dick...
Uh, hello???
You stoop-
I ain't even gonna waste two syllables
on sayin' you stupid,
cause you just fuckin' stoop.
Just stoop.
I tell y'all what's faggy.
I heard that folks is callin' you
the new Norma Rae?
Well, I think that folks is callin'
you that case you fuckin' faggy.
And I asked my renter Stephon if faggy as
obsensived and he said naw,
so it ain't.
Now, what's faggy is grabbin' one bee
on your way out.
One-
One fuckin' beer.
And I mean like...you took one fuckin' lousy beer.
One beer-
(laughs)
One-
One...beer!
One, you took one beer.
That's it.
One beer...
You a pussy!
Hell, that's like quittin' Ruby Tuesdays,
gettin' all pissed off,
stormin' out and goin' by the salad ba
and pickin' up a grape or a crouton
or somethin'.
Ooooh, that showed them...
Whoo weee, ain't that somethin'!
Get a toothpick and a mint on your way out.
That'll get management all pissed off.
I don't even know why they call them
salad bars to begin with
cause they ain't got not one bit of liquor on it
and to me that's false advertisements.
And...
Oh, and then...
Everybody's actin' like you gone all
Jerry Springer...
...Lewis...
Jerry, uhh...Mc.....
Mac...Magoo...
Jerry Maguire on him.
Shit...
Shit!
You think it's some big deal cause you
grabbed up a $2 bee
and slid out of the airplane.
Well hell...
(burp)
I slid outta my momma with a Malt 40
and ain't nobody throwed me no fuckin' parade!
You know what that's like?
This is stoop...
That's like "goin' postal,"
and runnin' out lickin' a stamp.
Pfffft!
I mean, for fuck sake,
he didn't even shoot nobody.
That ain't interesting!
That ain't interesting...
I mean goddamn...
...one lousy beer.
You know what?
If that had been me,
Hell, I'd have made it out
with two cases of Natty Ass,
at least two dozen of them
baby boozie bottles
and a bottle of white zin-
Well, don't ask me how I got it out,
but I would have found a way.
I know how to ride a horse.
What?
Elizabeth...
You don't look right!
And then they wanna give that
sumbitch a reality show.
Well now, I needs me one of them.
I mean...
I'd call it...
Uh....
(clears throat)
And then that ass licker-
Shit licker-
Uh, he, he he...
...I forgot.
He said he got in a fight with a passenger.
Uh, excuse me!
I didn't see-
I didn't see a cut mark,
a bruise,
a brass knuckle-knock mark...
That's for your Jude!
I didn't see any of that
on your purty little ginger face.
You know what I'd have done?
I would have posed for that fuckin'
security camera up there.
I'd have held up-
(glass falling)
Shit, I think my partial was in that.
I'd have come up with sumbitches' hair.
And I don't care if he was bald,
I would have come up with
some hair from somewhere.
(cackling laugh)

(coughs)
(clears throat)
Mmm...
Anyway, I'd like to punch this bitch in the teeth.
Peace out!
That's How I Seize It.

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