Cooking with Christopher Walken

Actor

Christopher Walken

Actor

Richard Belzer

Writer/Director

Danny Jelinek

Writer

Ryan Perez

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Executive Producer

Jordan Gilbert

Editor

Kevin Oeser

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

WEBVTT 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:16.000 <v Christopher Walken> Hi, I'm Chris Walken, we're on the West Port in the blazing sun, and, uh we're gonna make a chicken I think. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:28.000 [Music Playing] 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:34.000 <v Christopher Walken> Today my guest is actor and comedian Richard Belzer. Who you know from Law and Order: SVU. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.000 <v Richard Belzer> Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name? 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:38.000 <v Christopher Walken> Oh, won't you please cut it out? [Laughs] 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:43.000 <v Christopher Walken> When he's not out solving crimes, Richard is doing some really exciting things in the kitchen. 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:44.000 <v Richard Belzer> Oh, hi. My name is Richard. 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:45.000 <v Scarlett Benchley> Hi, I'm Scarlett. 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000 <v Richard Belzer> And your name is? 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:47.000 <v Alise Shoemaker> Alise. 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:51.000 <v Christopher Walken> Richard and I started our culinary journey by traveling to a local market. 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:52.000 <v Richard Belzer> The great road. 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:53.000 <v Christopher Walken> Connecticut's great. 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:57.000 <v Richard Belzer> I mean, if you have to go to the city, it's close enough. 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:58.000 <v Christopher Walken> So, here we are. Stew Leonard's. 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:03.000 [Music Playing] 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.000 <v Richard Belzer> We need chicken. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.000 <v Christopher Walken> Yeah, chicken. 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:06.000 <v Christopher Walken> We need pears. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:07.000 <v Richard Belzer> Pears. I'm in an orange... 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:09.000 <v Christopher Walken> Grab a couple of lemons. 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:10.000 <v Richard Belzer> Oh! Sorry. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:11.000 <v Christopher Walken> Come now, Richard. Ah! 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:13.000 [Cow Mooing] 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.000 <v Christopher Walken> I don't see sweet potatoes. Thanks! 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:19.000 <v Deli Worker> Anything else you regard, sir? 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:23.000 <v Christopher Walken> Not now. Not...thanks. So, we got the chicken. Nice. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:33.000 <v Christopher Walken> While Richard and I enjoyed the in-store entertainment, my lovely assistants pick up the rest of our stuff. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000 <v Christopher Walken> We got enough. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:37.000 <v Richard Belzer> Yeah. All we need to get is potatoes and we can go. 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:40.000 <v Christopher Walken> We need to get to the petting zoo. 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:50.000 <v Christopher Walken> Here we are at the petting zoo. When I first came here, you could walk in there and they had llamas and... 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:52.000 <v Richard Belzer> Come! Come on! 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:53.000 <v Christopher Walken> That goat does not care. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:58.000 <v Christopher Walken> Later, that same day, we arrived back at the house. 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:02.000 <v Christopher Walken> I'm gonna change into my Hawaiian cooking shirt. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:03.000 <v Richard Belzer> Amos, stay over here. 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:09.000 <v Christopher Walken> [Knife Sharpening] I cut the bottoms off of the pears. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:10.000 <v Richard Belzer> So, the pears will cook with the chicken? 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.000 <v Christopher Walken> Yes. 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:13.000 <v Richard Belzer> Inside it? Or in the same pan? 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:17.000 <v Christopher Walken> All in the same pan. You know, Richard? Do we have salt? Lots of salt. 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:18.000 <v Richard Belzer> Really? That much? 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:24.000 <v Christopher Walken> Yes. This is a big chicken. Oh, you know what? I got an extra peeling here. If you can take about half the skin off. 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:30.000 <v Richard Belzer> So, you wanna put some Old Bay on it? How much? You should taste this Chris and see how much you want on. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.000 <v Christopher Walken> Mm, that's good. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 <v Richard Belzer> What's the temperature of the oven? 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.000 <v Christopher Walken> Oh, yeah. We should heat the oven. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:42.000 <v Richard Belzer> We just guide it down. Take it down to there. We gonna put it in the oven now? 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:47.000 <v Christopher Walken> So, here we've got an onion, we got some pears, and we got this chicken. So it needs to go in the oven. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:50.000 <v Christopher Walken> Voila! 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.000 <v Richard Belzer> All right! Should I make a salad? 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.000 <v Christopher Walken> [Laughs] Yes! 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:58.000 <v Richard Belzer> Yes, okay. You know I'm gonna make it rhubarb and shaved parmesan salad with heirloom tomatoes. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.000 <v Christopher Walken> Hey! 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.000 <v Richard Belzer> Sunflower oil, and olive oil. 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000 <v Christopher Walken> Great! Tomatoes are a fruit, did you know that? 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:06.000 <v Richard Belzer> Yeah. Yes. You wanna feature the brigole. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:12.000 <v Christopher Walken> They made the film, uh, Ten Best List? This year, for the first time, Citizen Kane isn't number one. 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.000 <v Richard Belzer> That's insane. 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.000 <v Christopher Walken> Isn't that crazy? 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:20.000 <v Richard Belzer> Citizen Kane is like The Last Supper. So, what I'm gonna do now is, do we have enough towels? 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:21.000 <v Christopher Walken> Is it like Spartacus? 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:23.000 <v Richard Belzer> All right, so, you're cooking shrimp and scallops together. 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:37.000 <v Christopher Walken> Because the oil gets infused with a little orange. Watch out. I got it. That's my fish a l'orange. Poh, poh, poh! 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:41.000 <v Richard Belzer> Hey this looks ready. Put it over here. That's fantastic. 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:49.000 <v Christopher Walken> With the food now ready, we moved to the deck, and receive a mandolin serenade from Richard's son-in-law. And enjoy the fruits of our labors. 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.000 <v Richard Belzer> It looks amazing, man. So, this is the life. 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:56.000 <v Christopher Walken> Thank you for cutting the chicken. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:57.000 <v Richard Belzer> That's right. 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:02.000 <v Christopher Walken> Ah, uh, can you do that? Or is that too hard? 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:18.000 <v Richard Belzer> Well cut into a clock spinning around, we grow beards, and then the people have jet packs, and there's robots and like it's twenty fifty-eight. She's still undoing it, and you and I are like skeletons and there's like bats flying around, but she's still unscrewing. 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.000 <v Christopher Walken> Jet packs? 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:28.000 <v Richard Belzer> Yeah. In the fifties in school we had these books and they say in the future you all will have a jet pack. Cars will drive themselves. And like, where's my future man? Come on. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:29.000 <v Christopher Walken> You don't have a jet pack? 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:39.000 <v Richard Belzer> Well, James Bond had one, remember? I loved the new James Bond. The guy goes, uh, he asks for a martini and the guy goes shaken or stirred? He goes do I look like I give a damn? 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.000 <v Christopher Walken> Oh, that's right. 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.000 <v Richard Belzer> Bay Bay, look! There's chicken. Oh, here, I know what I wanted to think of. The best... 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:50.000 <v Christopher Walken> I think, no I think we need some help here. Let me... 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.000 <v Richard Belzer> No, we're gonna cut to calendars and clocks. [Cork Pops] 00:04:53.000 --> 00:05:02.000 <v Christopher Walken> When I was a kid, one of the first jobs I got was doing a commercial. And it was for pancake syrup. 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.000 <v Richard Belzer> Ah. 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:08.000 <v Christopher Walken> And I had to spend a whole day eating pancakes. 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:09.000 <v Richard Belzer> They didn't have a spit bucket? 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:13.000 <v Christopher Walken> It was, it was difficult after a while. It's not, it's not good to eat too many pancakes. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:22.000 <v Richard Belzer> Not. Here's to your health and our friendship. Cooking more. Thank you ladies. I wanna surprise you with something. One of your fans has a tattoo of you. 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:23.000 <v Christopher Walken> [Laughs] 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.000 <v Richard Belzer> Did you know this? 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:25.000 <v Christopher Walken> No! 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.000 <v Richard Belzer> And look how great that artwork is! 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:27.000 <v Christopher Walken> Oh dear! 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.000 <v Richard Belzer> Talk about a fan! 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:33.000 <v Christopher Walken> That's a terrible picture. Did you ever take a picture of your nose? 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:34.000 <v Richard Belzer> of course! 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:38.000 <v Christopher Walken> Take a picture of, how, how would you do it? Like, take a picture of my nose just from here. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:40.000 <v Christopher Walken> Just the nose. Oh you have a great fu**in'... 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:45.000 <v Christopher Walken> Did you get it? Really big. You want some nostril? [Camera Clicks] You could hang that on the wall. 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.000 <v Christopher Walken> Isn't that great? You could spend the whole day doing this. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.000 <v Richard Belzer> Is there any dessert? Or what do we have to do now? 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.000 <v Christopher Walken> I'm stuffed. 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:54.000 <v Richard Belzer> Me too. [Both Laugh] 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:59.000 [Music Playing]