Christopher Walken invites Richard Belzer over to cook a meal for you.

Full Credits

Starring: Christopher Walken, Richard Belzer
Featuring: Alise Shoemaker, Scarlett Benchley
Written by Danny Jelinek, Ryan Perez
Directed by Danny Jelinek
Produced by Michelle Fox
Executive Producer: Jordan Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Oeser
AD: Rob Lopez
DP: Paul Rondeau
Camera Operator: Brian Wengrofsky
1st AC: Jeff Brink
2nd AC: Nathan Danilczuk
Gaffer: Zach Poots
Electrician: Andrew Hubbard
Key Grip: Dylan Laziza
Grip: Drew Verderame
Swing: Matt Kessler
DIT: Donavon de Cesare
Production Design: Noah Grant-Levine, Gino Fortebuono
Wardrobe: Molly Youker
Hair/Makeup: Tressa Digiorgi
Sound: SilverSound
PA: Jeff Yang, Jonah Einstein, Christa Boarini, Jaime Andrews, Larry Ricketts, Connor Lynch
Special Thanks: Toni Howard, Bill and Ann Sheffer, Annie Keefe


Christopher Walken: Hi, I'm Chris Walken, we're on the West Port in the blazing sun, and, uh we're gonna make a chicken I think.
[Music Playing]
Christopher Walken: Today my guest is actor and comedian Richard Belzer. Who you know from Law and Order: SVU.
Richard Belzer: Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?
Christopher Walken: Oh, won't you please cut it out? [Laughs]
Christopher Walken: When he's not out solving crimes, Richard is doing some really exciting things in the kitchen.
Richard Belzer: Oh, hi. My name is Richard.
Scarlett Benchley: Hi, I'm Scarlett.
Richard Belzer: And your name is?
Alise Shoemaker: Alise.
Christopher Walken: Richard and I started our culinary journey by traveling to a local market.
Richard Belzer: The great road.
Christopher Walken: Connecticut's great.
Richard Belzer: I mean, if you have to go to the city, it's close enough.
Christopher Walken: So, here we are. Stew Leonard's.
[Music Playing]
Richard Belzer: We need chicken.
Christopher Walken: Yeah, chicken.
Christopher Walken: We need pears.
Richard Belzer: Pears. I'm in an orange...
Christopher Walken: Grab a couple of lemons.
Richard Belzer: Oh! Sorry.
Christopher Walken: Come now, Richard. Ah!
[Cow Mooing]
Christopher Walken: I don't see sweet potatoes. Thanks!
Deli Worker: Anything else you regard, sir?
Christopher Walken: Not now. Not...thanks. So, we got the chicken. Nice.
Christopher Walken: While Richard and I enjoyed the in-store entertainment, my lovely assistants pick up the rest of our stuff.
Christopher Walken: We got enough.
Richard Belzer: Yeah. All we need to get is potatoes and we can go.
Christopher Walken: We need to get to the petting zoo.
Christopher Walken: Here we are at the petting zoo. When I first came here, you could walk in there and they had llamas and...
Richard Belzer: Come! Come on!
Christopher Walken: That goat does not care.
Christopher Walken: Later, that same day, we arrived back at the house.
Christopher Walken: I'm gonna change into my Hawaiian cooking shirt.
Richard Belzer: Amos, stay over here.
Christopher Walken: [Knife Sharpening] I cut the bottoms off of the pears.
Richard Belzer: So, the pears will cook with the chicken?
Christopher Walken: Yes.
Richard Belzer: Inside it? Or in the same pan?
Christopher Walken: All in the same pan. You know, Richard? Do we have salt? Lots of salt.
Richard Belzer: Really? That much?
Christopher Walken: Yes. This is a big chicken. Oh, you know what? I got an extra peeling here. If you can take about half the skin off.
Richard Belzer: So, you wanna put some Old Bay on it? How much? You should taste this Chris and see how much you want on.
Christopher Walken: Mm, that's good.
Richard Belzer: What's the temperature of the oven?
Christopher Walken: Oh, yeah. We should heat the oven.
Richard Belzer: We just guide it down. Take it down to there. We gonna put it in the oven now?
Christopher Walken: So, here we've got an onion, we got some pears, and we got this chicken. So it needs to go in the oven.
Christopher Walken: Voila!
Richard Belzer: All right! Should I make a salad?
Christopher Walken: [Laughs] Yes!
Richard Belzer: Yes, okay. You know I'm gonna make it rhubarb and shaved parmesan salad with heirloom tomatoes.
Christopher Walken: Hey!
Richard Belzer: Sunflower oil, and olive oil.
Christopher Walken: Great! Tomatoes are a fruit, did you know that?
Richard Belzer: Yeah. Yes. You wanna feature the brigole.
Christopher Walken: They made the film, uh, Ten Best List? This year, for the first time, Citizen Kane isn't number one.
Richard Belzer: That's insane.
Christopher Walken: Isn't that crazy?
Richard Belzer: Citizen Kane is like The Last Supper. So, what I'm gonna do now is, do we have enough towels?
Christopher Walken: Is it like Spartacus?
Richard Belzer: All right, so, you're cooking shrimp and scallops together.
Christopher Walken: Because the oil gets infused with a little orange. Watch out. I got it. That's my fish a l'orange. Poh, poh, poh!
Richard Belzer: Hey this looks ready. Put it over here. That's fantastic.
Christopher Walken: With the food now ready, we moved to the deck, and receive a mandolin serenade from Richard's son-in-law. And enjoy the fruits of our labors.
Richard Belzer: It looks amazing, man. So, this is the life.
Christopher Walken: Thank you for cutting the chicken.
Richard Belzer: That's right.
Christopher Walken: Ah, uh, can you do that? Or is that too hard?
Richard Belzer: Well cut into a clock spinning around, we grow beards, and then the people have jet packs, and there's robots and like it's twenty fifty-eight. She's still undoing it, and you and I are like skeletons and there's like bats flying around, but she's still unscrewing.
Christopher Walken: Jet packs?
Richard Belzer: Yeah. In the fifties in school we had these books and they say in the future you all will have a jet pack. Cars will drive themselves. And like, where's my future man? Come on.
Christopher Walken: You don't have a jet pack?
Richard Belzer: Well, James Bond had one, remember? I loved the new James Bond. The guy goes, uh, he asks for a martini and the guy goes shaken or stirred? He goes do I look like I give a damn?
Christopher Walken: Oh, that's right.
Richard Belzer: Bay Bay, look! There's chicken. Oh, here, I know what I wanted to think of. The best...
Christopher Walken: I think, no I think we need some help here. Let me...
Richard Belzer: No, we're gonna cut to calendars and clocks. [Cork Pops]
Christopher Walken: When I was a kid, one of the first jobs I got was doing a commercial. And it was for pancake syrup.
Richard Belzer: Ah.
Christopher Walken: And I had to spend a whole day eating pancakes.
Richard Belzer: They didn't have a spit bucket?
Christopher Walken: It was, it was difficult after a while. It's not, it's not good to eat too many pancakes.
Richard Belzer: Not. Here's to your health and our friendship. Cooking more. Thank you ladies. I wanna surprise you with something. One of your fans has a tattoo of you.
Christopher Walken: [Laughs]
Richard Belzer: Did you know this?
Christopher Walken: No!
Richard Belzer: And look how great that artwork is!
Christopher Walken: Oh dear!
Richard Belzer: Talk about a fan!
Christopher Walken: That's a terrible picture. Did you ever take a picture of your nose?
Richard Belzer: of course!
Christopher Walken: Take a picture of, how, how would you do it? Like, take a picture of my nose just from here.
Christopher Walken: Just the nose. Oh you have a great fu**in'...
Christopher Walken: Did you get it? Really big. You want some nostril? [Camera Clicks] You could hang that on the wall.
Christopher Walken: Isn't that great? You could spend the whole day doing this.
Richard Belzer: Is there any dessert? Or what do we have to do now?
Christopher Walken: I'm stuffed.
Richard Belzer: Me too. [Both Laugh]
[Music Playing]