Male Voice: Exclusive.
[Computer Beeping Sounds]
Zach Galifianakis: Hello, my name is
Zach Galifianakis: and I'm coming to you from
the year 2015
Zach Galifianakis: where anything is
Zach Galifianakis: For instance, I've
implanted a radio inside
Zach Galifianakis: my head, where I can listen to
tuba music all day long.
Zach Galifianakis: Also, in the year
, you will
Zach Galifianakis: be able to turn yourself
into a big, fat, adult baby.
Zach Galifianakis: If being a big, fat, adult
baby doesn't interest you,
Zach Galifianakis: then perhaps this will.
[Computer Beeping Sounds]
Sarah Silverman: In the future, bears don't
maul you anymore.
Sarah Silverman: They're just as cute and
cuddly as they seem like they are.
Sarah Silverman: I'm just kidding.
Tracy Morgan: You know what? In the
future we have hybrid
Tracy Morgan: animals, man. It's the
dopest, it's the coolest, man.
Tracy Morgan: Like an eagle-phant.
That's an eagle and an elephant.
Isaiah Mustafa: In the future, we all
Isaiah Mustafa: Which is good, because we
all have permanent six-pack abs.
Isaiah Mustafa: But, it's also bad,
because we forget how to love.
Chloe Moretz: Yeah, the future's pretty
great. You know, I've
Chloe Moretz: already seen the Arrested
Development movie, and the sequel.
Chloe Moretz: [Gasp] And they both
Marisa Tomei: Cars fold up into tiny
boxes that fit in your pocket.
Marisa Tomei: I drive a Porsche,
Sarah Silverman: In the future, boobs are
Sarah Silverman: Like, these are so gross.
In the future.
Tracy Morgan: We even have a Turtaffe.
That's a turtle and a giraffe.
Tracy Morgan: You know, it's tall but
it's got a shell on it.
Tracy Morgan: And it eats
Sarah Silverman: There are some words in
the future that don't
Sarah Silverman: exist anymore like totes,
and random, and, like,
Sarah Silverman: amaze-balls, gone. And
Tracy Morgan: We also have something
called a wolphin that's
Tracy Morgan: like a wolf and a, and a,
hen, I guess.
Marisa Tomei: Eating with your mouth
open is really sexy.
Tracy Morgan: In this future, puppies
pick up my poop!
Zach Galifianakis: Thank you, celebrities.
Zach Galifianakis: Is there anything they
Zach Galifianakis: Here's something that's
not too crazy.
Zach Galifianakis: We can reach the beginning
of the end of AIDS by
Zach Galifianakis: 2015.
Zach Galifianakis: Please, get off your lazy
[Beep] western asses and
Zach Galifianakis: think about the rest of
the world for one goddamn
Zach Galifianakis: minute and stop worrying
about your pathetic
Zach Galifianakis: life, and watching The
Zach Galifianakis: No one gives a [Beep].
Sarah Silverman: I don't think there's a
reason to yell, Zach.
Sarah Silverman: If you get a chance, go to
Marisa Tomei: Visit One.org.
Isaiah Mustafa: One.org
Chloe Moretz: Visit One.org
Tracy Morgan: [Yelling] One.org!
Sarah Silverman: Tell them Bono