AIDS 2015

Actor

Zach Galifianakis

Actor

Sarah Silverman

Actor

Chloe Moretz

Actor

Tracy Morgan

Actor

Marisa Tomei

Actor

Isaiah Mustafa

Writer/Director

lauren

DP

Brian Lane

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Producer

rachelgoldenberg

Editor

Parker Seaman

Editor

jacobreed

Sound

BoTown Sound

Additional Credits [+]

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WEBVTT 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:10.000 [Computer Beeping Sounds] 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:24.000 <v Zach Galifianakis> Hello, my name is Zachalabee Dukakis, and I'm coming to you from the year two thousand fifteen, where anything is possible. For instance, I've implanted a radio inside my head, where I can listen to tuba music all day long. 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:28.000 [Tuba Sounds] 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:35.000 <v Zach Galifianakis> Also, in the year two thousand fifteen, you will be able to turn yourself into a big, fat, adult baby. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.000 [Baby Crying] 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:43.000 <v Zach Galifianakis> If being a big, fat, adult baby doesn't interest you, then perhaps this will. 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:45.000 [Computer Beeping Sounds] 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:55.000 <v Sarah Silverman> In the future, bears don't maul you anymore. They're just as cute and cuddly as they seem like they are. I'm just kidding. They're extinct. 00:00:55.000 --> 00:01:03.000 <v Tracy Morgan> You know what? In the future we have hybrid animals, man. It's the dopest, it's the coolest, man. Like an eagle-phant. That's an eagle and an elephant. 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:11.000 <v Isaiah Mustafa> In the future, we all become robots. Which is good, because we all have permanent six-pack abs. But, it's also bad, because we forget how to love. 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:17.000 <v Chloe Moretz> Yeah, the future's pretty great. You know, I've already seen the Arrested Development movie, and the sequel. [Gasp] And they both won Oscars. 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:25.000 <v Marisa Tomei> Cars fold up into tiny boxes that fit in your pocket. I drive a Porsche, see?! 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:32.000 <v Sarah Silverman> In the future, boobs are gross. Like, these are so gross. In the future. 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:40.000 <v Tracy Morgan> We even have a Turtaffe. That's a turtle and a giraffe. You know, it's tall but it's got a shell on it. And it eats vegetation still. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:52.000 <v Sarah Silverman> There are some words in the future that don't exist anymore like totes, and random, and, like, amaze-balls, gone. And Gouda. 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:58.000 <v Tracy Morgan> We also have something called a wolphin that's like a wolf and a, and a, hen, I guess. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:02.000 <v Marisa Tomei> Eating with your mouth open is really sexy. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:04.000 <v Tracy Morgan> In this future, puppies pick up my poop! 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:28.000 <v Zach Galifianakis> Thank you, celebrities. Is there anything they don't know? Here's something that's not too crazy. We can reach the beginning of the end of AIDS by twenty-fifteen. Please, get off your lazy [Beep] western as*es and think about the rest of the world for one God damn minute and stop worrying about your pathetic life, and watching The Bachelor. No one gives a [Beep]. 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:34.000 <v Sarah Silverman> I don't think there's a reason to yell, Zach. If you get a chance, go to one dot org. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.000 <v Marisa Tomei> Visit one dot org. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 <v Isaiah Mustafa> One dot org. 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.000 <v Chloe Moretz> Visit one dot org. 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.000 <v Tracy Morgan> [Yelling] ONE DOT ORG! 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:41.000 <v Sarah Silverman> Tell them Bono sent you. 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:52.000 [Music Playing]