The New F***ing Citibank
After Citibank becomes nationalized, expect to see commercials like this.
Social ON
Social OFF
Facebook's social sharing is on and this video will be automatically added to your Facebook Ticker, Timeline and News Feed.
You're in control:
You're in control:
Adding 'The New F***ing Citibank' to your timelineRemove this item from your Timeline Permanently turn social sharing OFF
Facebook's social sharing feature automatically publishes your activity on Funny or Die to your Facebook timeline.
You are in control of what you share and can turn social sharing on and off as you like.
Turn social sharing ON
Turn social sharing ON
-
-
Uploader
Funny Or Die
-
-
Director
Eric Appel
-
-
Writer
Seth Morris
-
-
Actor
Kulap Vilaysack
Additional Credits:
Starring:
DeMorge Brown
Will McLaughlin
Morgan Vukovic
Kulap Vilaysack
Marlene Maginot
Andie Bolt
Emily Maya Mills
Erin Gibson
Bart Folkerts
Johnny Meeks
Kellynn Jones
Joel Spence
and Jude Walsh
Written by: Seth Morris
Directed by: Eric Appel
Starring:
DeMorge Brown
Will McLaughlin
Morgan Vukovic
Kulap Vilaysack
Marlene Maginot
Andie Bolt
Emily Maya Mills
Erin Gibson
Bart Folkerts
Johnny Meeks
Kellynn Jones
Joel Spence
and Jude Walsh
Written by: Seth Morris
Directed by: Eric Appel
Added about 3 years ago
9850 funny votes
2554 die votes
Description:
After Citibank becomes nationalized, expect to see commercials like this.
Patience is overrated...
Patience is overrated...
Standard Sizes
Custom Size
pxpx
The video opens with a screenshot of a headline that reads: U.S.
government to own up to 36% of Citi. The shot then cuts to a shot of
the company name Citibank.
Announcer: Since the US government has become a 36% shareholder, Citibank has now become nationalized Citibank.
The word nationalized fades in over the company name Citibank. The shot then cuts Demorge Brown getting into a car.
Demorge Brown (with faux cheeriness): Now, going to the bank is just like going to the fucking DMV.
Demorge Brown gets in his car. The shot then cuts to Will McLaughlin,
wearing a hardhat and nailing something to a telephone pole.
Will McLaughlin: I had to wait in a line, to get into another line, to
get into a third line, to be told that someone gave me the wrong
fucking form. Ha.
The shot then cuts to Morgan Vukovic, crouched next to an open door, attending to a baby.
Morgan Vukovic: They can only afford dial up, so online banking takes days and days.
The shot then cuts to Kulap Vilaysack leading an outdoor meditation
group consisting of Marlene Maginot, Andie Bolt, Emily Maya Mills, Erin
Gibson and Bart Folkerts
Kulap Vilaysack: Everyone who works there is an arrogant retard.
Kulap Vilaysack and the Meditation Group: Fuck you nationalized Citibank.
The shot then cuts to a still shot that reads: FDIC Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Announcer: We’re FDIC insured and our policies are subject to the whims of pundits and lawmakers.
The shot then cuts to Johnny Meeks and Kellynn Jones.
Johnny Meeks: The loan officer said we’d have to take a drug test in order to be considered for a home improvement loan.
Kellynn Jones: And sign something called a pledge of righteousness.
Johnny Meeks: This is such fucking bullshit.
The shot cuts to Joel Spence standing in front of an ATM.
Joel Spence: This…
Joel Spence unfolds an enormous printout.
Joel Spence: …is a fucking ATM deposit form.
The shot cuts to the words take a number.
Announcer: Take a number.
A red arch reminiscent of the Citibank logo appears and then the words wait your fucking turn appear.
Announcer: Wait your fucking turn. We’re nationalized Citibank.
The image spins from the words take a number wait your fucking turn to read nationalized Citibank.
government to own up to 36% of Citi. The shot then cuts to a shot of
the company name Citibank.
Announcer: Since the US government has become a 36% shareholder, Citibank has now become nationalized Citibank.
The word nationalized fades in over the company name Citibank. The shot then cuts Demorge Brown getting into a car.
Demorge Brown (with faux cheeriness): Now, going to the bank is just like going to the fucking DMV.
Demorge Brown gets in his car. The shot then cuts to Will McLaughlin,
wearing a hardhat and nailing something to a telephone pole.
Will McLaughlin: I had to wait in a line, to get into another line, to
get into a third line, to be told that someone gave me the wrong
fucking form. Ha.
The shot then cuts to Morgan Vukovic, crouched next to an open door, attending to a baby.
Morgan Vukovic: They can only afford dial up, so online banking takes days and days.
The shot then cuts to Kulap Vilaysack leading an outdoor meditation
group consisting of Marlene Maginot, Andie Bolt, Emily Maya Mills, Erin
Gibson and Bart Folkerts
Kulap Vilaysack: Everyone who works there is an arrogant retard.
Kulap Vilaysack and the Meditation Group: Fuck you nationalized Citibank.
The shot then cuts to a still shot that reads: FDIC Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Announcer: We’re FDIC insured and our policies are subject to the whims of pundits and lawmakers.
The shot then cuts to Johnny Meeks and Kellynn Jones.
Johnny Meeks: The loan officer said we’d have to take a drug test in order to be considered for a home improvement loan.
Kellynn Jones: And sign something called a pledge of righteousness.
Johnny Meeks: This is such fucking bullshit.
The shot cuts to Joel Spence standing in front of an ATM.
Joel Spence: This…
Joel Spence unfolds an enormous printout.
Joel Spence: …is a fucking ATM deposit form.
The shot cuts to the words take a number.
Announcer: Take a number.
A red arch reminiscent of the Citibank logo appears and then the words wait your fucking turn appear.
Announcer: Wait your fucking turn. We’re nationalized Citibank.
The image spins from the words take a number wait your fucking turn to read nationalized Citibank.
More by Funny Or Die, Eric Appel, Seth Morris, and Kulap Vilaysack
Next In Funny or Die's Credit Crisis
Loading...
Featured Pictures And Words
Loading...
Politics
Loading...
Quicklist
- Loading...
Sponsored Videos
Time Traveling Celebrities
Are some celebrities part of a secret time traveling cult? Why does Nicolas Cage never seem to age? Join me as I explore this phenomenon.
by Timbo Slice
Rejected Ideas from Mitt Romney's 'Day One' Ad
Essentially Romney's To-Do list for his first day in office.
by As Usual
QUIZ: Which NBC Show Is Real and Which is a Photoshopped Parody?
We took a few of the REAL posters that NBC just released and put them alongside some fake TV show parodies that people have ACTUALLY MADE AND PUT ON TUMBLR. Whi...
by Cory Matthews
Cats and Rihanna: Both Just Don't Give a F--k
AKA Why Cats and Rihanna are the best.
by You're Doing It Right
Big
from Midbest, Dave Theune, Casey Feigh
Mark Zuckerberg's Wedding Registry
The Facebook founder got married this weekend. So what do you get the man that has everything?
by A General Nonchalance
SNL Finale: Goodbye Kristen Wiig, Hello Lazy Sunday 2
Must stop crying. Must stop crying.
by TheMagicHour
Kid Draws Ultimate Comic: 'Hulk Smashes The Kardashians'
Hopefully some insight to the upcoming Hulk sequels
from You're Doing It Right
























































Users
Users