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Erin remembers she's half Jewish and Bryan finds out the name of the guy he's dating,... more »
Published February 25, 2014 40k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

1

- [ERIN]: THIS IS

2

[ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER]: THROWING SHADE.

3

- [BRYAN]: WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,

4

- [ERIN]: AND HOMOSENUAL BRYAN SAFI,

5

- [BRYAN]: TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND POLITICS,

6

- [ERIN]: AND POP CULTURE,

7

- [BRYAN] AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.

8

- [ERIN]: CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

9

- WELL I AM JEWISH.

10

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

11

- MY DAD-- I FORGOT MY DAD IS JEWISH

12

- WHAT-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

13

- MY-- I SAW MY GRANDPA THIS WEEKEND
- YEAH.

14

- HIS FIRST WIFE, MY DAD'S MOM.
- UH HUH.

15

- BARBARA.
- OKAY.

16

- SHE'S JEWISH
- REALLY?

17

- YEAH. SO MY DAD'S JEWISH, WHICH I FORGOT.
SO I'M HALF JEWISH.

18

- OH BOY.
- [ sings a melody ]

19

- THE TRADITIONAL JEWISH HUMMING.
- ISN'T THAT FUN?

20

- I BID YOU HOMELAND VISITS. YOU KNOW--
- TO THE SET OF HOMELAND?

21

- BIRTHRIGHT HOMELAND--
- YEAH.

22

- I'M GOING TO START WEARING A YAMAKA.

23

- OH WELL, THAT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE.
- WHY?

24

- BECAUSE, YOU'RE NOT A GUY.
- WELL, BUT GENDER RULES. I RULE.

25

- OH.

26

- HEY, I'VE ALREADY CONQUERED GENDER RULES IN CATHOLICISM,

27

- SO I'M GOING-- I'M GOING TO JUDAISM.
- CATHOLICISM.

28

- NO, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

29

- YES.
- THE HOT WATER IS OUT IN MY APARTMENT,

30

- SO I DIDN'T SHOWER THIS MORNING--
- AGAIN?

31

- YEP.

32

- DID YOU PUT A CURSE ON YOURSELF?
- I PUT A CURSE ON MYSELF--

33

YOU KNOW I DID MY THING. I PUT ON MY BLACK CLOAK.
I PUT ON MY STRINGY HAIR WIG.

34

I GOT OUT MY CAULDRON, AND I CASTED A SPELL ON, REALLY--
ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE EVER HANDLED HOT WATER IN MY APARTMENT.

35

- SO THAT'S YOU?
- SO I ENDED UP CURSING MYSELF.

36

- YEAH.
- I DID COME OVER, AND USE YOUR BATHROOM, AND
SHAVED IN YOUR SHOWER, AND THEN

37

IN YOUR SINK, AND THEN IN YOUR TOILET.
I DIDN'T KNOW--

38

- DID YOU USE MY HOT WATER?
- I DIDN'T KNOW RATHER TO USE YOUR RAZOR,

39

OR YOUR BOYFRIEND'S RAZOR, SO I USED
ALL OF THEM.

40

- OKAY, ON WHAT?
I JUST USED SCISSORS AND DID EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO DO.

41

- WHERE DID YOU USE OUR RAZERS?
ALL OVER, ON MY BUSH,

42

ON MY ARM BUSH, ON MY FACE BUSH, AND THEN
BARBARA BUSH CAME OVER, AND I DID SHAVE HER DOWN.

43

- YOU DID?
- SO, YEAH.

44

ON ALL THE BUSHES. THE WHOLE BUSH-- THE DYNASTY.
- YEAH. OKAY.

45

- BY THE WAY YOU TOLD ME TO BUY A HUMIDIFIER
- DID YOU DO IT?

46

- YES, BUT IT'S NOT WORKING.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

47

- WELL, I PUT IT IN MY BED NEXT TO ME,

48

LIKE LAID DOWN, AND I HUG IT.

49

- OH, NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT--

50

- AND THEN THE THING WITH THE SPOUT,
AND IT GOES RIGHT IN MY MOUTH.

51

- NO, NO, THAT'S THE WRONG THING TO--
SO I CAN SEE WHY IT'S NOT WORKING.

52

- BUT NO, I HAVE IT ON THE FLOOR,
AND IT'S NOT WORKING.

53

- IT'S COLD AIR
- NO IT'S NOT.

54

- HONEY PLEASE. GET INTO MY BEDROOM.
- YOU HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM--

55

ALL I KNOW IS IT'S 75 DEGREES OUTSIDE,
AND THE SECOND I WALK IN TO THE STUDIO,

56

THERE'S A FUCKING SPACE HEATER ON FULL BLAST.

57

- WELL THIS--
- THE PROBLEM IS YOUR BRAIN.

58

- NO, THIS ROOM DEFIES ALL SPACE AND
TIME, AND TEMPERATURE. BECAUSE WHEN I--

59

IT WILL BE A 100 DEGREES OUTSIDE, AND I'LL
WALK IN HERE, AND I'LL HAVE THE BRRS.

60

YOU KNOW? THE BILL BRRS.

61

- IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD COME IN HERE EVERY MORNING
WHEN IT'S FREEZING COLD, AND I WOULD

62

TAKE OFF ALL OF MY ARTICLES, AND I WOULD JUST
LAY DOWN WITH A BLANKET, AND I WOULD

63

BECKEN MY LOVER TO COME AND JOIN ME IN
THE BLANKET.

64

- YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME RENAISSANCE SHIT.
- YEAH.

65

WELL I'M INTO LIKE-- WHEN I FUCK I HAVE A TURKEY LEG
IN MY MOUTH, AND I RIP IT OFF--

66

- YEAH.
- AND I HIT THE PERSON ON THE FACE FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES--

67

- SO YOU CAN ONLY REALLY HAVE SEX WITH REN FAIRE PEOPLE?

68

- YEAH.
- YEAH.

69

- I LOVE GOING TO REN-- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ONE?
- YES.

70

I GOT ASSAULTED AT ONE.
- INSULTED?

71

- BY A GUY WHO WANTS YOU TO THROW
TOMATOES AT HIM. HE TOLD ME I HAD A FLAT CHEST,

72

AND MY BOYFRIEND TRIED TO HIT HIM IN THE
FACE WITH A TOMATO AND HE COULDN'T DO IT,

73

AND I WAS LIKE, WE'RE BREAKING UP
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DEFEND MY HONOR, KIND SIR.

74

ALSO HE WAS REPUBLICAN, AND I--
- YOUR BOYFRIEND?

75

- MM-HMM. IN COLLEGE.

76

- DO YOU REMEMBER HOW WHEN PEOPLE WERE
REALLY POOR?

77

THEY'RE NOT ANY LONGER--
NO, ALL THE PEOPLE ARE RICH.

78

- REMEMBER BEFORE EVERYONE WAS REALLY RICH?
- YOU MEAN REALLY POOR WHEN THEY WERE DYING ON THE STREET?

79

- LIKE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE KIND
OF THING I MEAN.

80

- UH, NO I THINK YOU MEAN DICKENS.
- NOT POOR, BUT RURAL.

81

- OKAY.
THAT HOW ON LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE

82

LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS A GIRL WOULD GET A RIBBON,
AND IT WOULD BE LIKE THE MOST GLAMOROUS

83

THING IN THE WORLD-- AND SHE WOULD BE LIKE,
[ gasps ] "OH MY GOD, I CAN PLAY

84

WITH THIS FOR AT LEAST A YEAR."
WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE GOING TO DO WITH THAT RIBBON?

85

- SHE CAN PUT IT IN HER HAIR. SHE COULD
PUT IT ON HER DOLLY--

86

- AND WHAT ELSE? YEAH.

87

- SHE'S GOING TO TIE IT AROUND HER FINGER
LIKE A WEDDING RING.

88

- AND THEN THAT'S IT, AND THEN IT'S LIKE
THAT'S FUN FOR A YEAR.

89

- WHAT ELSE, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A GAME BOY?
- I DON'T KNOW.

90

IF I LIVED IN PRAIRIE TIMES, I WOULD HAVE
ONLY GIVEN GAME BOYS TO MY CHILDREN.

91

- YEAH, BUT HOW WOULD THEY PLUG IT IN?
CHARGERS. THERE'S NO BATTERIES.

92

- NOT MY PROBLEM. I WOULD LOOK AT MY
KIDS, AND I WOULD SAY "NOT MY PROBLEM."

93

- YEAH.
- YOU REALLY SHOULD SEE MY ONE MAN SHOW.

94

- LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE, BUT LIKE THIS.

95

- OH, SO YOU-- IT'S VERY HARD TO TELL PEOPLE
WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT, BECAUSE--

96

- IT IS-- IT'S VISUAL. IT'S ODD. YEAH.
IT'S AN OUTER WORLD EXPERIENCE.

97

- OUR ROLE?
- IT'S SO FUNNY, BUT YEAH.

98

BUT EVERYONE COMES TO MY BLACK BOX, AND I'M
NOT TALKING ABOUT--

99

- YOUR BUTT VAGINA?
- BUTT HOLE.

100

- OH. OKAY.
- YEAH.

101

102

- ON MY HONOR, I WILL TRY TO SERVE GOD, AND
MY COUNTRY, AND TO HELP PEOPLE AT ALL TIMES.

103

AND TO MAKE SURE THAT ABORTIONS ARE COOL,
AND FUN AGAIN.

104

- OKAY.

105

- THAT'S THE GIRL SCOUT HONOR.
NO, THAT WAS BEYONCÉ ILLUMINATI.

106

- OH. [ sings ] ALL THE SINGLE LADIES.
ALL THE ILLUMINATI.

107

[ together ] ALL THE ILLUMINATI.

108

- IT WAS FREEMASON. IT WAS ALL OF IT.

109

- SO EVERY SPRING, THE GIRL SCOUTS COME
OUT OF HIBERNATION.

110

- MM-HMM.
- RIGHT. LIKE THE KODIAK BEAR.

111

- YEP.
- AND THEY COME OUT TO SELL THEIR COOKIES.

112

- YES.
- RIGHT?

113

AND LIKE THE KODIAK BEAR, THEY ARE HUNTED.

114

- YEAH.
- SO HUFFINGTON POST PUBLISHED A STORY IN DECEMBER

115

ABOUT THE INSPIRING INDIVIDUALS WHO THEY
CONSIDERED TO BE 2013'S WOMAN OF THE YEAR.

116

- OKAY.
- ON THAT LIST, BEYONCÉ WHO WE JUST MENTIONED.

117

- YEAH.
- MALALA--

118

- OH, SURE.
- RIGHT.

119

AND WENDY DAVIS. SO GIRL SCOUTS OF
AMERICA, USA NUMBER 1, THEIR TWITTER ACCOUNT

120

TWEETED OUT THE ARTICLE, AND SAID WHO ELSE--
ASKED THEIR FOLLOWERS, WHO ELSE

121

DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE ON THIS LIST?

122

- OH, SO I MADE IT.

123

- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY DID THIS.
WHEN THEY SAID THE WORDS WENDY DAVIS

124

THAT MAKES THEM PRO-ABORTION.
- GOT YA.

125

- DO YOU SEE HOW THAT LINK WAS MADE?

126

- I HAVE TO SAY, THE GIRL SCOUTS ARE PRETTY
LIKE...A HIP ORGANIZATION.

127

- THEY'RE SO HIP.
- THEY REALLY ARE, THEY'RE SO MUCH MORE PROGRESSIVE THAN THE BOY SCOUTS.

128

- THEY DON'T DISCRIMINATE. THEY DON'T--
THEY'RE LIKE, HEY YOU DON'T WANT TO SAY GOD

129

IN OUR SPEECH, GREAT. YOU WANNA SAY ALAH, GREAT.
YOU DO, YOU. THAT'S BASICALLY THE GIRL SCOUTS--

130

- WHICH BASICALLY I DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO--
- YOU DON'T?

131

- I DO-- I DON'T.
- BUT YOU PRESCRIBE TO IT.

132

- I DO. I WRITE PRESCRIPTIONS.
- YEAH.

133

- SO THEY ARE CALLING FOR A NATIONAL BOYCOTT
OF THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES CALLED

134

COOKIECOTT, 2014. YOU CAN SEE IT, "da, da, dum" RIGHT.

135

- COOKIECOTT? LIKE C-O-T?
- COOKIECOTT. LIKE BOYCOTT.

136

- OH-OH-OH-OH...

137

- RIGHT, BUT COOKIECOTT, LIKE CC.
FOR ME, THERE SHOULD BE A COOKIE COT

138

FOR ALL THE COOKIES YOU EAT, AND YOU TAKE
A NAP ON THE COT AFTER--

139

- THAT'S SO FUNNY. THAT'S SO FUNNY, BECAUSE
OF THE SUGAR--

140

YOUR O.D. ON SUGAR.
- YEAH. IT'S REALLY FUNNY.

141

- HERE'S THE GROUND ZERO FOR THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE CALLING FOR THIS COOKIECOTT.

142

- PRO LIFE WACO. SHOCKED?
- OH, GOD.

143

- ARE YOU SHOCKED?
- NO.

144

- THE PRO LIFE WACO IS HEADED BY JOHN PISCIOTTA.

145

- [BRYAN]: OH, YEAH.
- [ERIN]: RIGHT, HE SOUNDS COOL, BECAUSE OF THE ITALIAN,

146

BUT HE'S NOT. HE'S A RETIRED BAYLOR ECONOMICS
PROFESSOR, AND IN AN INTERVIEW

147

HE DEFENDED, THIS MOVEMENT, THIS PROBLEM,
THIS ATTACK SAYING,

148

[ southern accent ] "YOU DON'T TAKE A POSITION ONE WAY
OR THE OTHER ON ABORTION.

149

BUT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE SAYING YOU'RE A POLITICIAN
FOR WHOM ABORTION IS THEIR CLAIM

150

TO FAME IS IN CONSIDERATION FOR WOMAN OF
THE YEAR. THAT'S SILLY."

151

UM, SO I FOUND HIS LINKEDIN ACCOUNT, BECAUSE
I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM,

152

- AND WHO HE IS AS A PERSON, ETC., ETC.
- MM-HMM.

153

AND SO THIS IS ON ONE OF THOSE SEGMENTS
ON HIS LINKED IN, "CURRENT PRO-LIFE, WACO OUTREACH

154

INCLUDES, SIDEWALK COUNSELING AT THE PLANNED
PARENTHOOD ABORTION FACILITY

155

- OH, THAT'S-- TALK ABOUT A EUPHEMISM.
ASSAULTING PEOPLE AS THEY WALK INTO

156

PLANNED PARENTHOOD.
- YEAH.

157

THEIR OUTREACH INCLUDES A PRO-LIFE BILBOARD
TRUCK NAMED CAROLYN [ laughs ].

158

- [ laughs ] WHAT? ACTUALLY, I LIKE IT.
I THINK I'M GOING TO--

159

- YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? IT'S A TRUCK, I ASSUME--
- THAT HAS THOSE FLASHING BILLBOARDS--

160

- NO, THAT HAS LIKE A BILLBOARD OF LIKE WHAT AN
ABORTED FETUS LOOKS LIKE, AND

161

THEY DRIVE IT AROUND TOWN, AND THAT TRUCK
IS NAMED CAROLYN.

162

- IF IT WERE MINE, I WOULD HAVE A TRUCK
NAMED CAROLYN, WITH THAT UM, SAME BILLBOARD.

163

BUT IT WOULD JUST BE A PICTURE OF ALL THE
FAMOUS CAROLYNS, AND I CAN'T THINK OF ONE.

164

- PRO-LIFE WACO OUTREACH, ALSO INCLUDES A 2ND
SUNDY PRO-LIFE GATHERING THAT INCLUDES

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A DELICIOUS ITALIAN PASTA MEAL.

166

- ALRIGHT, NOW WE'RE TALKING.
- SEE IF YOU LOVE PASTA AND YOU HATE ABORTIONS,

167

PRO-LIFE WACO IS THE PLACE FOR YOU.
- HEY. YEAH.

168

- THERE WAS AN EXAMPLE OF A GIRL IN VIRGINIA,
SHE ENCOUNTERED A NEIGHBOR WHO

169

BLURTED OUT, THAT HER FAMILY DOESN'T GIVE
MONEY TO GIRL SCOUTS BECAUSE, THEY SUPPORT

170

ABORTIONS THAT KILLS BABIES. SAY THAT TO
A 6 YEAR OLD.

171

KELLY PARISI WHO IS THE CHIEF COMMUNICATIONS
EXECUTIVE AT GIRLS SCOUTS USA,

172

SHE SAYS, "IT'S DEEPLY UNFORTUNATE THAT FRINGE
GROUPS ARE ATTACHING THEIR POLITICAL

173

AGENDA TO OUR BRAND. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE OUR
BRAND IS SO POPULAR IT'S THE ONLY

174

WAY TO GET THEIR RADICAL MESSAGE OUT
THERE." LOVE THIS WOMAN.

175

- KELLY PARISI--
- SHE FUCKIN' NAILED IT ON THE HEAD.

176

IT'S LIKE, "YA'LL WANT TO TAG ALONG WITH
OUR TAG ALONGS, BECAUSE WE BE POPULAR?"

177

- YES, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS.
- NO-NO-NO...

178

- OH MAN, SO WELL SPOKEN.

179

- THE FRINGE PEOPLE, FINE, THERE'S ALWAYS
GOING TO BE FRINGE PEOPLE-- THIS GUY--

180

IF JOHN ISN'T LIKE ATTACKING WOMAN, WHO ARE
GETTING ABORTIONS HE'S GOING TO FIND

181

SOMETHING TO BE MAD ABOUT.
- MM-HMM.

182

- BECAUSE HE'S ANGRY INSIDE.
- YEAH, I KNOW SOME ONE ELSE LIKE THAT--

183

- YOU--

184

- AND WE COULD HARNESS THIS ANGER, STICK WITH ME,
IF WE JUST DO SOME KIND SORT OF

185

ELABORATE TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM,
- MM-HMM.

186

- WE MOVE PEOPLE WHO THINK ONE WAY ALL TOGETHER.
WE MOVE PEOPLE WHO THINK ANOTHER WAY

187

TOGETHER, AND WE KEEP TRANSPORTING PEOPLE
ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES UNTIL EVERYBODY'S

188

SETTLED INTO--
- IT'S A GOOD IDEA IN THEORY,

189

IT'S PROBABLY THE WORSE IDEA IN PRACTICE.
- WHY?

190

- HAULING PEOPLE OFF IN A TRAIN, AND SENDING
THEM SOMEWHERE? NOT A GOOD IDEA.

191

- FOR GOOD. NOT FOR EVIL, IT'S NOT ILLEGAL
- IT'S JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA.

192

- LOOK, THE REASON THAT THE NORTH, AND THE SOUTH
FOUGHT IS BECAUSE THE SOUTH WAS DOING

193

DICK-HEADISH THINGS TO SLAVES, BUT WHAT IF THE
NORTH WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE, "HEY,

194

NO BIG DEAL. THE SLAVES WANT TO BE FREE.
WE'LL JUST TAKE THEM TO THE NORTH, AND YOU

195

GUYS DO YOUR OWN BULLSHIT--
BUT DO YOU UNDERSTAND-- I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN THIS ARGUMENT.

196

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BASICALLY YOU'RE PROPOSAL,
IS WHAT THE NORTH AND SOUTH WAS?

197

- OH, SEGREGATION?
- YEAH.

198

- YEAH, BUT I'M SAYING THAT EVERY ONE WHO IS LIKE MINDED--
- THE SOUTH IS LIKE WE WANT SLAVES

199

SO WE'LL STAY HERE, YOU GUYS STAY THERE.
YOU'RE RUNNING ON THE SAME PLAN AS THE

200

CONFEDERACY, AND THE NAZI PARTY.
- NO, BUT THE SLAVES DIDN'T GET TO VOTE, AND THE JEWS DIDN'T GET TO VOTE.

201

I'M SAYING EVERYONE GETS TO VOTE.
- JUST DROP-- WOULD YOU DRIVE ME OVER A CLIFF RIGHT NOW

202

BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE, ON THE EDGE
OF A CLIFF.

203

- CAN YOU JUMP OFF A CLIFF FAR AND WE'LL DO THE SAME DAMAGE?
- YEAH, I'LL TRY.

204

205

OKAY, BEFORE I GET INTO THIS BECAUSE I'M
NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS, BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH MENTIONING.

206

JASON COLLINS PLAYED HIS FIRST GAME AS AN
OUT GAY MAN IN THE NBA FOR THE FUCKIN'

207

- BROOKLYN NETS. ON SUNDAY--
- OH REALLY, THEY CHANGED THEIR NAME

208

TO THE FUCKING BROOKLYN NETS?
- HE SIGNED A 10 DAY CONTRACT--

209

- 10 DAYS?
- YEAH.

210

- THAT'S NOTHING. HE'S TEMPING.
- YEAH.

211

- ROSS, OUR PRODUCER SAID, THAT WAS A NORMAL
CONTRACT TO SIGN, AND I SAID,

212

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW."
SO HE BECAME, WHEN HE STEPPED OUT ON TO

213

THAT COURT, HE BECAME THE FIRST MAN, OPENLY
GAY MAN TO PLAY A GAME OF BASKETBALL.

214

- YEAH, AND HE WENT, [ sings ] OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH...
- YEAH. OKAY.

215

- [ continues singing ] OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH...
- UH-HUH. YEAH. OH.

216

IF YOU LIKE IT, THEN YOU BETTER PASS
THE BALL TO ME.

217

218

- AH MAN, THAT'S TOO BAD.

219

SO I TALKED ABOUT THE KANSAS BILL LAST WEEK
ABOUT BASICALLY GIVING PEOPLE THE

220

RIGHT TO NOT SERVE A GAY PERSON IF THEY THOUGHT
A PERSON WAS--

221

- THE RIGHT TO DISCRIMINATE.
- THE RIGHT TO DISCRIMINATE, EXACTLY.

222

ARIZONA GOT SUPER JEALOUS, AND WAS LIKE,
WE CAN BEAT YOU AT THIS KANSAS, AND NOT ONLY

223

ARE WE GOING TO PASS IT IN THE HOUSE,
WE'RE GOING TO PASS IT IN THE SENATE, AND

224

WE'RE GIVING IT TO THE GOVERNOR TO SIGN OR
VETO, HOPEFULLY VETO, BUT SHE COULD SIGN.

225

ARIZONA IS DOING THIS BECAUSE IT'S SPONSOR
WHO IS SENATOR STEVE YARBROUGH,

226

SAID THAT-- IT'S CALLED SENATE BILL 1062
- SEXY.

227

- VERY SEXY, BUT HE'S PUSHING IT BECAUSE OF A
CASE IN NEW MEXICO IN WHICH THE STATE--

228

- SO A DIFFERENT STATE.
- DIFFERENT STATE.

229

- JUST NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS THOUGH.
- YEAH.

230

- SAID, THAT THE STATE SUPREME COURT ALLOWED
A GAY COUPLE TO SUE A PHOTOGRAPHER

231

WHO REFUSED TO TAKE PICTURES AT THEIR WEDDING,
AND HE SAYS--

232

- THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THE WHOLE CASE
IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE THIS PHOTOGRAPHER,

233

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, BUT DID
THE PHOTOGRAPHER TAKE THEIR MONEY AND REFUSE?

234

I'M NOT, MAYBE, I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE, UM,
MY FEELING ON THE WHOLE THING IS

235

WELL SOMETIMES I'M LIKE, WELL DON'T TAKE
YOUR BUSINESS THEIR, BUT THEN I REALLY THINK

236

ABOUT IT-- IT'S SO DEMEANING--
- WAIT, DO YOU--

237

- TO GO IN A PLACE-- LIKE IMAGINE IF
THESE PEOPLE WERE, IF THEY WERE BLACK, OR--

238

- CAN'T DO IT
- AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER WAS LIKE, "NO I'M NOT."

239

I GUESS THERE'S NOT A RELIGIOUS
ATTACHMENT TO SOMEONE BEING ANY OTHER MINORITY.

240

- YEAH.
- BUT FOR SOME REASON, PEOPLE HAVE HELD

241

ON TO THE FUCKING LEVITICUS OF IT ALL--
- SAME OLD THING.

242

- SO THEY THINK WELL WE CAN BE PROTECTED
RELIGIOUSLY WITH THIS EVEN THOUGH IT IS

243

STRAIGHT UP, FULL FORWARD, FUNKY TILT BOOGIE
DISCRIMINATION-- ARIZONA IS REALLY

244

WORRIED RIGHT NOW THAT THIS-- AFTER THAT
CRAZY IMMIGRATION BILL THEY PASSED,

245

- YEAH. SELF DEPORTATION? YEAH.
- WHERE THEY COULD BASICALLY STOP PEOPLE ON THE STREET.

246

- STOP, DROP, AND DON'T BE ILLEGAL.
- EXACTLY.

247

THE STATE SUFFERED ECONOMICALLY LIKE
PRETTY DRAMATICALLY, AND IT REALLY AFFECTED

248

LIKE WAY MORE THAN JUST THE PEOPLE LIVING THERE--
NO ONE WOULD GO. THE TOURISM

249

DROPPED DRAMATICALLY-- WHO THE FUCK IS GOING
THERE FOR TOURISM, I HAVE NO IDEA--

250

- WELL, FLAGSTAFF--
- I GUESS SO.

251

- AND THE GRAND CANYON.
- MEH, FUCK THAT.

252

- AS USUAL, THIS BILL BASICALLY-- THE LANGUAGE
OF THE BILL SAYS THAT IT PROTECTS

253

THE RELIGIOUS FREEDOM OF INDIVIDUALS
WHICH IS TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

254

GOVERNOR BREWER HASN'T SAID WHAT SHE PLANNED
TO DO YET, BUT IF YOU WANT TO--

255

- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO--
- READ THIS ONE QUOTE.

256

- YEAH OF COURSE
- IT'S JUST AT THE TOP. IT'S ONLY 2 SENTENCES.

257

- [ in a Jan Brewer voice ] HI, THIS IS
ARIZONA GOVERNOR JAN BREWER.
- YEAH.

258

"YOU KNOW, THE BILL IS IN TRENDMILL...
THAT MEANS SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS...

259

AND I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION
UNTIL NEXT FRIDAY...JUST LIKE THAT ICE

260

CUBE MOVIE.
- OH, SHE SAID-- I DON'T REMEMBER HER SAYING THAT PART.

261

- YEAH-- OR, WHATEVER. I'M DOING A PYRAMID SCHEME WITH AMWAY
- OH.

262

- SO IF ANYBODY NEEDS HANDSOAP--
- THANKS SO MUCH.

263

WE'RE ALL GOOD, JAN.
- I CLOSE THIS MEETING, HEAR YE, HEAR YE.

264

- OH OKAY, WE'LL WE'RE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD
WITH THE MICROPHONES.

265

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO NECESSARILY CLOSE IT.

266

BUT WHAT THIS LAW REALLY DOES IS IT WOULD
EXPAND ALL OF THAT IN TO INCLUDE

267

NON-GOVERNMENT PERSONS. SO ANY BUSINESS OWNER
COULD USE RELIGION AS AN EXCUSE TO

268

BASICALLY BE LIKE, FUCK YOU, TO GAY PEOPLE.

269

YOU COULD ESSENTIALLY DO THIS, BECAUSE THEY
KEEP SIGHTING RELIGION, YOU COULD

270

SAY THIS APPLIES TO MORMON PEOPLE, YOU
COULD SAY THIS APPLIES TO MUSLIM, JEWISH--

271

- OH, MY PEOPLE?
- YEAH.

272

- I ABSOLUTELY AM AGAINST THIS LAW NOW.
- RIGHT.

273

- BEFORE I WAS LIKE, I THINK I LIKE TO EAT
PIZZA WITHOUT HAVING TO LOOK AT A

274

GAY PERSON.
- RIGHT.

275

- BUT NOW SEEING THAT IT COULD EFFECT ME? MM-MM, NO.
- YEAH.

276

- BUT GAYS AND JEWS, NO--
- YEAH.

277

- GAYS AND PIZZA, NO.
- OKAY.

278

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT FORMULA?
- I DO-- WELL THE ONLY I'VE UNDERSTOOD THIS

279

WHOLE TIME IS GAY'S AND PIZZA DON'T GO TOGETHER.
- YEAH.

280

- THAT'S THE ONLY THING I'VE HEARD.
- SO HOW DO YOU-- WELL, IT'S A TRIANGLE,

281

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. HOW DO YOU PUT IT IN
YOUR MOUTH? YOU KNOW HOW YOUR MOUTHS

282

ARE DIFFERENT? IF PIZZA WAS ROLLED UP
LIKE A HOT POCKET--
- YEAH.

283

- FORGET IT. DID YOU READ THE STORY ABOUT
HOT POCKETS, THAT BASICALLY THE MEAT INSIDE

284

IS LIKE SWEPT OFF OF A FLOOR?
- YEAH.

285

WELL THAT'S WHAT EAT-- YOU KNOW, THAT'S
WHAT WE DO.

286

- I'M GLAD WE CLEARED THAT UP.
- MM-HMM.

287

- BUT YOU CAN'T--
- NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU.

288

- PLEASURE.

289

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