CHRISTINE! - Ben Sheehan

Uploader

Ben Sheehan

Director

Christopher Whitman

Christine O’Donnell

It’s hard to top you

You always speak your mind

You don’t let logic stop you

You say that Sex And The City is pornography

And The Sopranos are a model family

That Britney Spears is a national threat

And coed dormitories lead to group sex

My heart’s beating at a faster pace

Ever since you joined the Senate race

Christine, the thought of you winning scares the shit out of me

Christine, please don’t cast a spell on me

The blogosphere thinks you’re insane

You said there were mice with human brains

But to be fair it seems to me

You’re not so bad; you’re raving mad, Christine

Remember when you falsely hinted

You were getting a Masters at Princeton

Or when you said condoms help spread AIDS

And freak dancing leads to date rape

You think gays are immoral and deviant

While you run a campaign that’s fully expedient

I’m glad we made Delaware the first state

It’s paid us back with a bat-shit candidate

Christine, you don’t believe in evolution

Christine, ‘cause you’ve never seen a monkey turn into a human

If masturbation’s adultery

Then we’re all guilty of infidelity

To be fair it seems to me

You’re not so bad; you’re raving mad

Christine, the lack of school prayer doesn’t lead to school shootings

Christine, your opponents aren’t hiding in your bushes

You wouldn’t lie to save Jews from Nazis

You make Palin look like Gandhi

To be fair it seems to me

You’re not so bad; you’re raving mad

And it might sound rude but I swear it’s true

I’ll remember you fondly, as long as you lose, Christine