Michael Vartan Has Dorfism
Straight girls respond to lesbians who responded to straight guys who responded to gay guys' "Gay Guys Will Marry Your Girlfriend."
- December 10, 2012
- 1m Views
Starring - Alison Becker, Joselyn Hughes, Jessica Jardine, Lilan Bowden & Grasie Mercedes
Writer/Director - Erin Gibson
DP - Luca Del Puppo
First AD - Ross Buran
First AC - Ray Lee
Hair/Makeup - Emily Rae
Sound - BoTown Sound
December 10, 2012
Grasie Mercedes: Gay rights are making
strides in America,
Grasie Mercedes: but there's still
lots to be done.
Lilan Bowden: In an attempt to get people
behind gay marriage,
Lilan Bowden: gay guys started
to marry us.
Grasie Mercedes: Then douchebags were
Joselyn Hughes: And then lesbians made a
bunch of awful assumptions
Joselyn Hughes: about us, and threatened
to marry our boyfriends.
Alison Becker: So we're making this video
to tell you to please
Alison Becker: leave us out of it.
Jessica Jardine: Guys, some of us don't
want to date gay guys,
Jessica Jardine: 'cause we already did it
in high school, and we didn't
Jessica Jardine: know it, okay. Some of us
didn't put it together
Jessica Jardine: when we thought true love
was getting your hair
Jessica Jardine: French braided, and
chatting 'till the break
Jessica Jardine: of dawn.
Alison Becker: What is this India in
? Is there like a
Alison Becker: dowry for me?
Jessica Jardine: Am I getting treated
for a cow here?
Alison Becker: Oh douchebags, you think
vaginas are awesome?
Alison Becker: Really? Then why don't you
put your mouth on them?
Joselyn Hughes: Oh, all women are closet
lesbians? Really douchebags?
Joselyn Hughes: What about your
Joselyn Hughes: Imagine sweet ol' nan making
out with another woman.
Lilan Bowden: Your grandma just like
fingering another grandma.
Alison Becker: Grandma grams doing a
little licky downstairs
Alison Becker: on another lady.
Joselyn Hughes: Jabbin' in and out
getting the dirty done.
Lilan Bowden: Every girl you date
wants to marry you bro?
Joselyn Hughes: Why because you make
fun of the handicap and
Joselyn Hughes: yell faggot out of your
Lilan Bowden: I just want to have a
say in who I marry.
Lilan Bowden: No big deal.
Joselyn Hughes: One thing I'd like to
clear up. I don't fart.
Alison Becker: I don't fart.
Grasie Mercedes: I never fart.
Lilan Bowden: I always fart.
Jessica Jardine: About threesomes, I don't
want to be in one.
Grasie Mercedes: I want to be in a
threesome with two women.
Alison Becker: I want to be in a
threesome with two men.
Joselyn Hughes: I don't care who's in a
threesome, man, woman.
Joselyn Hughes: As long as there's a guy is
behind the camera, and another
Joselyn Hughes: guy jerking off into a
birthday cake, I'm in.
Alison Becker: Why are we even talking about this?
Why are we doing this?
Alison Becker: It was about gay marriage,
but now it's about
Alison Becker: me. Where did
this thing start?
Jessica Jardine: And now lesbians are
threatening to marry
Jessica Jardine: our boyfriends if we don't
support gay marriage?
Jessica Jardine: I'm sorry.
What did I do?
Alison Becker: Why is everyone trying
to break up my relationship?
Alison Becker: It was hard to find
this guy, and he's not even
Alison Becker: that great.
Jessica Jardine: If the options I'm
being presented are a
Jessica Jardine: gay cartoon, or a
douchebag, I'm going to
Jessica Jardine: go with option 3.
Joselyn Hughes: Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Lilan Bowden: Joseph.
Alison Becker: Gordon.
Grasie Mercedes: Levitt.
Jessica Jardine: Joseph Gordon-Levitt.