The Modern Fundamentalist - Kim Davis Parody Starring RENA STROBER Directed by... more »

Full Credits

Starring RENA STROBER
Directed by RICHARD KRAFT
Co-Director and Producer TAMELA D’AMICO
Cinematography and Editing JENNIFER NICOLE STANG
Post Production Supervisor ROBIN DAUGHERTY
Makeup JEN ASPINALL, NINA PORT
Green Screen TOMMY PHILLIPS
“Modern Fundamentalist”
Lyrics by JAMES F. TRUMM
Produced and Arranged by JEFF HOEPPNER
Vocals by RENA STROBER
based on
“I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General”
by W.S. GILBERT & ARTHUR SULLIVAN
ADDITIONAL CAST
JEFF HOEPPNER……………....…Dude in Bed
JENNIFER NICOLE STANG…Lesbian Lover
NINA PORT……………………………Co-Worker
Special Thanks
DAN NORTH
SARAH KOVACS
DARRAH LE MONTRE
© 2015 La Strega Entertainment, Inc.

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September 25, 2015
Published

Transcript

LYRICS:
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN FUNDAMENTALIST
Lyrics by Jim Trumm
Based on the song by Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist
I’m not merely judgmental, I’m the absolute judgmentalest!
I always follow scripture and I act on God’s authority,
Though marital fidelity was never my priority.

I married first one husband, then two others, then another one
Because I think one man is pretty much like any other one.
I’ve never been too troubled by the dubious legalities
Of sex outside of marriage or of other trivialities.

But when it comes to icky stuff like homosexuality,
I’m always very strident with my Puritan morality.
In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist.

Yee-Haw!

(In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist
She is the very model of a modern fundamentalist!)

In questions of behavior I fall back on my Old Testament
(Though saying no to shrimp is way too much of an impediment).
I simply pick the verses that support my ideology
And hold on fast and true to my intolerant theology.

I’ll ride this hobbyhorse until I’m richer than a sybarite,
There’ll always be good money in denouncing godless sodomites.
I’ll put my name as author on some books that I can barely read
And get a show on cable to inform the world what God decreed.

My husbands all agree that I know more about what marriage is
Than five Supreme Court justices whose law my faith disparages.
In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist.

(In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist
She is the very model of a modern fundamentalist!)

Perhaps if I learned what is meant by constitutionality
If I could do my job with requisite impartiality
If I could join in marriage two young men who might be thespians,
Or issue nuptial licenses to enterprising lesbians,

If I could see that love is love no matter what the sexes are
And understand that gays are just like me my three exes are,
In short, if I could finally get a does of moral clarity
I’d find out what is meant by the idea of Christian charity

Nah…

Til then I’ll flaunt the law and draw my wages from the treasury
And grab a photo op with my next husband Michael Huckabee
Til then in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist!

(Til then in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist
She is the very model of a modern fundamentalist!)

YEE-HAW!!!!!
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