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On Charlie Sheen's new cooking show; Winning Recipes, Charlie shows you how to cook using all of the power of a warlock.
Published March 09, 2011 7m views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Charlie Sheen
Directed by Matt Villines & Osmany Rodriguez
Written by Lauren Palmigiano & Chris Henchy
Edited by Pat Bishop & Danny Jelinek
Produced by Christin Trogan
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Co-Producer: Natalie Kenly
Director of Photography: Kevin Atkinson
B-Camera Operator: Brian Lane
C-Camera Operator: Tony Lopez-Cepero
Production Design: Kevin Oestenstad
Grips: Jay Guffey & Elliot Dickerhoof
Sound: Ryan Kaiser
Makeup: Sara Irving
Special thanks to J.D. Walsh
Extra Special Thanks to Wynter Mitchell (@kweeneverything)

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[sound of a tiger growling]

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- HELLO. I'M CHARLIE SHEEN, AND THIS

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IS CHARLIE SHEEN'S WINNING RECIPES.

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YES, I'M DOING A COOKING SHOW. WHY?

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BECAUSE, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

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I'M "WINNING" TELEVISION RIGHT NOW.

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MY PLAN IS TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO

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HAVE MADE AN APPEARANCE ON EVERY TELEVISION

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NETWORK, JUST LIKE I WAS THE FIRST

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PERSON TO GET 1 MILLION TWITTER

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FOLLOWERS IN 24 HRS,

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[sound of a jaguar growling]

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LIKE I WAS THE

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FIRST TO BUILD A ROCKET SHIP TO

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CASEOPEA USING ONLY MY MIND TOOLS.

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HERE I COME, FOOD NETWORK.

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FACE IT. I AM LIVING THE LIFE OF A

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ROCK STAR VATICAN ASSASSIN, AND IF

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YOU EAT LIKE ME, YOU CAN BE LIKE ME.

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IF YOU AREN'T THINKING ABOUT WHAT

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YOU'RE PUTTING INTO YOUR BODY, PLAN BETTER.

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THE FIRST DECISION YOU HAVE TO MAKE IS

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WHICH KITCHEN TO USE: THE INDOOR

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KITCHEN, SO IT'S IN THE "COMFORT

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ZONE", OR THE OUTDOOR KITCHEN, BECAUSE

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THE SPIRITS OF MY ADONIS ANCESTORS CAN

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FLY ABOVE ME AND BREATHE FIRE ONTO THE MEAL.

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OUTDOOR WINS. I JUST TELEPORTED MYSELF HERE.

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I DID IT AGAIN.

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NOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT KITCHEN,

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YOU NEED TO HAVE THE RIGHT TOOLS.

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THIS IS NOT A SPATULA. IT'S A COOKING WAND FOR A WARLOCK!

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THIS IS NOT A BOWL. IT IS A CAULDRON OF AWESOMENESS.

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[mysterious music plays]

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ALL GREEN THINGS MUST DIE.

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I'M GOING TO START OFF BY MAKING A SALAD.

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I GOT THIS TOMATO FROM MY GARDEN.

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I GREW THIS. MY FINGERTIPS RADIATE

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SUNSHINE, AND I WATER THEM WITH THE

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TEARS OF A JAGUAR.

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[sound of a jaguar growling]

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I WILL RINSE OFF ANY NYMPHS OR DEMONS

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THAT GOT ON IT WHILE IN MY GARDEN.

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SALAD IS DONE. SOME TROLL IS GOING TO

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SAY, "THAT'S NOT A SALAD." OH REALLY?

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LOOKS LIKE A TOMATO WINNING SALAD TO ME.

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THIS WON'T BE A KOSHER MEAL, NOT

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BECAUSE I'M ANTI-SEMITIC, BUT BECAUSE

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MY TIGER BLOOD NEEDS MEAT.

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I KILLED THIS COW MYSELF.

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WINNERS STALK AND KILL THEIR OWN FOOD

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WITHOUT EARTHLY WEAPONS.

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I'M NOT SOME MOUTH BREATHER IN A

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DRIVE-THRU GORGING MY PIE HOLE ON MASS

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PRODUCED MONKEY GRUB. MY BODY'S A LOCK

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BOX OF DIAMONDS, URANIUM, AND

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ASSASSIN NOBILITY.

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BEST WAY TO COOK A STEAK...

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IS WITH MODERATE TO INTENSE

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OBSERVATION.

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[bell rings]

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DUH! WINNING! STEAK IS DONE.

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THERE'S ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN DRINK

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WITH A MEAL LIKE THIS.

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NO WINE IN SILVER VALLEY LODGE.

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THIS IS TEA MADE FROM GROUND DINOSAUR FOSSILS.

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NOW FOR A COUPLE MORE FINISHING TOUCHES.

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[classical music plays]

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I DON'T COOK FOOD, I WILL IT.

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[inaudible]

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MY HANDS ARE RATED BY ZAGATS.

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WHO AM I?

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NOW GARNISH IT WITH A SECRET INGREDIENT.

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CHARLIE SHEEN.

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[sound of a laser]

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MMMM...TASTES LIKE WINNING.

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[Charlie narrating]: WARNING! THE TASTE OF CHARLIE SHEEN

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HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CAUSE YOUR SOUL

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TO WEEP AND FORFEIT

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AUTOPLAY
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