Ryan Lochte clears up any and all confusion surrounding peeing in pools.
- August 09, 2012
- 890k Views
Starring - Ryan Lochte
Written/Directed by - Nick Corirossi and Charles Ingram
Producer - Betsy Koch
DP/Editor/Sound - Brian Lane
Special Thanks - Erika Wright and Shawn Zenga
August 09, 2012
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: Hey, welcome to LOCHTv.
I'm here to answer a few questions.
INTERVIEWER: Now they say
you pee in the pool. Is that true?
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: Yes, that is very true.
The way I see it,
Ryan Lochte: the pool is the biggest and most
expensive toilet and it's all mine.
Ryan Lochte: That's the only time
I allow myself to pee.
Ryan Lochte: Yes, I can only
pee in the pool.
What do you do otherwise?
Ryan Lochte: I, I usually just hold it.
Ryan Lochte: I hold it in until
I get to the pool.
Ryan Lochte: If I see a toilet,
I'm definitely not peeing there.
Ryan Lochte: Pathetic!
Ryan Lochte: You can't expect
me to swim in this.
Ryan Lochte: What do you think
I am, a borrower?
Ryan Lochte: I'm not a borrower,
I don't need to borrow anything.
Ryan Lochte: Like animals,
they mark their territory,
Ryan Lochte: I pee in the pool.
That's my territory.
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: It's really difficult,
there's a lot of training.
Ryan Lochte: I mean, you definitely
first start with the bathtub,
Ryan Lochte: then after the bathtub,
you go to a jacuzzi or a hot tub,
Ryan Lochte: and then after that, you work your way
to the shallow end of a swimming pool,
Ryan Lochte: and then if you can handle it,
you gotta go to the deep end.
Ryan Lochte: And then once you do that,
you've gotten it.
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: I am gonna do a community outreach
on getting the kids to pee in the pool.
Ryan Lochte: Kids, it is okay to
pee in the pool.
Ryan Lochte: I'm gonna start out small
with the kids and then eventually
I wanna move up to
Ryan Lochte: a winter sport and get
some yellow snow in there.
Ryan Lochte: Kids pee in the pool.
Ryan Lochte: But I can't
stress this enough...
Ryan Lochte: do not ever
poop in the pool.
Ryan Lochte: [softly] Just don't do it.
Peeing, good. Pooping, no.
Ryan Lochte: I won't tell
anyone if you don't.
Ryan Lochte: If you poop in the pool,
they shut down the whole entire pool
Ryan Lochte: and then I can't pee,
because I pee in pools.
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: I mean, I have a
book that's coming out:
Ryan Lochte: "Fifty Shades of Yellow."
It's supposed to be a number 1 seller.
Ryan Lochte: My Podcast is a Peecast.
Ryan Lochte: I got a new rap album coming
out in my alter-ego, Peeablo.
Ryan Lochte: I heard all these products
are gonna make a big splash.
[ trickling liquid ]
Ryan Lochte: The mark of a true
champion is the gold.
Ryan Lochte: And I'll tell you what,
I pee gold...
Ryan Lochte: when I'm a
Ryan Lochte: Maybe I might get
Michael Phelps in there,
Ryan Lochte: see who can pee the best.
INTERVIEWER: Is Michael Phelps' slow?
Do you think he's a slow pee-er?
Ryan Lochte: RYAN: You know what?
I have the fastest pee in the west.
[ western ♪ ♪ ]
Ryan Lochte: Next on LOCHTv,
I'll teach you how to eat pizza
with a grill in your mouth.