Ryan: Hey, welcome to LOCHTv.
I'm here to answer a few questions.
Voiceover: They say you pee
in the pool. Is that true?
Ryan: Yes, that is very
true. The way I see it,
the pool is the biggest and most expensive
toilet and it's all mine.
That's the only time
I allow myself to pee.
Yes, I can only pee in the pool.
Voiceover: What do you do otherwise?
Ryan: I usually just hold it.
I hold it in until I get to the pool.
If I see a toilet, I'm
definitely not peeing there.
You can't expect me to swim in this.
What do you think I am, a borrower?
I'm not a borrower, I don't
need to borrow anything.
Like animals, they mark their territory,
I pee in the pool. That's my territory.
It's really difficult,
there's a lot of training.
You definitely first
start with the bathtub,
then after the bathtub, you
go to a jacuzzi or a hot tub,
and then after that, you work your way
to the shallow end of the swimming pool,
then if you can handle it,
you gotta go to the deep end.
Once you do that, you've gotten it.
I am gonna do a community outreach on
getting the kids to pee in the pool.
Kids, it IS okay to pee in the pool.
I'm gonna start out small with the kids
and then eventually I wanna move up to
a winter sport and get
some yellow snow in there.
Kid, pee in the pool ...
But I can't stress this enough ...
Do not EVER poop in the pool.
Just don't do it.
Peeing, good. Pooping, no.
I won't tell anyone if you don't.
If you poop in the pool,
they shut down the whole entire pool
and then I can't pee
because I pee in pools.
I have a book that's coming out ...
"Fifty Shades of Yellow" ...
It's supposed to be a #1 seller.
My Podcast is a Peecast.
I got a new rap album coming out
in my alter-ego, Peeablo.
I heard all these products
are gonna make a big splash.
The mark of a true champion is the gold.
And I'll tell you what ...
I pee gold ...
When I'm a little dehydrated.
Maybe I might get Michael Phelps in there,
see who can pee the best.
Voiceover: Michael Phelps is slow,
do you think he's a slow peer?
Ryan: You know what? I have
the fastest pee in the west.
(western cowboy-type music)
Next on LOCHTv,
I'll teach you how to eat pizza
with a grill in your mouth.