Jonathan loves three things - Reishi Mushroom Powder, power walks, and Game of Thrones

Full Credits

Starring - Jonathan Van Ness
Featuring - Rachel Bloom
Director - Erin Gibson
Producers - Matt Mazany and Andrew Grissom
Writers - Erin Gibson, Mark Rennie, Gilli Nissim, Matt Mazany
Lead Editor - Joan Ford
Editor and Graphics - Kat Palardy
Director of Photography - Matt Sweeney
Production Designer - Flower Cole
Gaffer - Jennifer Cohen
Make Up and Hair - Emily Rae
Sound Mixer - Mike Robertson

Stats & Data


Jonathan Van Ness: Oh my God. I'm like
such a big fan,
Jonathan Van Ness: but more importantly did
you watch Game of Thrones?
Rachel Bloom: Does Jon Snow's corpse make me
want to become a necrophiliac?
Jonathan Van Ness: I think we need to start
a club honey.
[they squeal]
[Theme Music]
Jonathan Van Ness: So at the beginning of the episode
we have Miss Cleo who is now
Jonathan Van Ness: Ms. Cleo honey, because she
is a grown-ass woman.
Jonathan Van Ness: She's not taking no
'ish from no one.
Rachel Bloom: Okay, but at the back of the wall there is
a full on Branch Davidian standoff going on.
Rachel Bloom: They are blasting Peter
Gabriel's, "Sledgehammer".
♪ I want to be ♪
♪ Your Sledgehammer ♪
Rachel Bloom: Meanwhile, their downstairs
neighbor [...?] Snuffaluffagus
Rachel Bloom: is pissed because he had
to be at work early.
[yelling and grunting is heard]
Jonathan Van Ness: And then we had King's
Landing's Dice Clay.
Jonathan Van Ness: He was doing it set
being a real Josie Grossie--
From what I hear, Jamie Landis
is half an inch shy of an inch.
Jonathan Van Ness: --when he got the heckled of
all heckled by BB-C3PO.
Rachel Bloom: B-3PO.
Anthony Daniels: How rude.
Jonathan Van Ness: Then we have Barefoot Contessa.
He was given us full Bernie Sanders
Every one of us is poor, and yet
together we can overthrow an empire.
Rachel Bloom: But then Brother D is
like, "I'm with her."
Jonathan Van Ness: And then, all those
Bernie Bros were like,
Jonathan Van Ness: "We don't like that story. Sit down."
Jonathan Van Ness: Then we had Munch. He knows the
potentials of the dragons, and honey,
Jonathan Van Ness: he's letting them go.
Rachel Bloom: Full Elsa.
Jonathan Van Ness: ♪ Let it go
Let it go ♪
Rachel Bloom: ♪ Can't hold it back any more ♪
Jonathan Van Ness and Rachel Bloom: ♪ Let it go
Let it go ♪
Rachel Bloom: ♪ Turn away and
slam the door ♪
Jonathan Van Ness: Why can't we just
sing together?
Peter Dinklage: Next time I have an idea like
that punch me in the face.
Jonathan Van Ness: So then evil Elijah Wood, he's not
too excited to be a big brother,
Jonathan Van Ness: so he goes full Menéndez on his dad
and full-on Menéndez on his brother.
Rachel Bloom: I have not been that worried for a
baby since Precious had Mongo.
Jonathan Van Ness: And Evil Elijah Wood's daddio was
not the only daddy getting got.
Jonathan Van Ness: My babe Theon's dad is in trouble too girl.
Rachel Bloom: Because, the Iron Islands' Ted Nugent is on
the rope course when he fails that trust fall.
[Goofy yell]
Rachel Bloom: Then at the end, Jon Snow is giving me a full-on
Jesus post crucifixion realness but like, fuckable.
Jonathan Van Ness: Honestly, that gave me the
guiltiest boner I have ever had.
Jonathan Van Ness: I've been in that gay rape
scene at the end of Outlander.
Rachel Bloom: Wait, I don't watch Outlander.
Jonathan Van Ness: So this like wife time travels to 1700 and the
great-great-great-great-grandfather of her
Jonathan Van Ness: 1940s husband, rapes her
s husband in the butt,
Jonathan Van Ness: in the face...
Rachel Bloom: That's a show?
Jonathan Van Ness: Yeah.
Rachel Bloom: You know what the most
surprising part of this scene was?
Rachel Bloom: Is that I did not know Evil Stevie
Nicks went to the Aveda Institute.
Jonathan Van Ness: And like a matte brown
lip, Jon Snow is back.
Jonathan Van Ness: Yes Queen!
Jonathan Van Ness: Yes!
Jonathan Van Ness: Yes!
Jonathan Van Ness: Who is your girl? Who is your girl?
Jonathan Van Ness: Honey, you are giving me so much
Sand Sister realness right now.
Rachel Bloom: But a greedy bitch,
you know that?
Rachel Bloom: Where are?
Jonathan Van Ness: My dragons.
♪ [music continues] ♪