“Weird Al” Yankovic doesn't need a full marching band behind him to tell you your team sucks. But it definitely doesn't hurt.

Full Credits

Featuring: "Weird Al" Yankovic, John Schwartz, Ian Jay, Steve Jay, Brian Warwick, Brett
Warwick, and The Riverside Marching Tigers
Director/Writer/Editor: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Director/Editor: Andy Bush
Producer: Ben Sheehan
Producer/1st AD: Sean Dacanay
Production Coordinator: Eleanor Winkler
DP: Scotty G. Field
1st AC (A Cam): James Jeffrey
1st AC (B Cam): Nick Forte
2nd AC: Nick Martin
Steadi Cam Op: Dustin Heindl
Camera Op: Tansy Simpson
Jib Operator: Chris Rhodes
Asst. Jib: Gerard Henderson
Key Grip: Farisai Kambarami
Best Boy Grip: Charles Gibson
Grip: John Nodorft
Gaffer: Adam Bial
Best Boy Electric: Matt Diamond
Lighting Tech: Mike Ross
H&MU Head: Jessica Leigh Schwartz
Asst. H&MU: Erin Blinn
Costumes: Emily Ting
Production Designer: Candy Lopez
Set Decorator: Ali Naqvi
PA: John Klymshyn, Aaron Majors, Dominic D'Astice, Grace Murphy
Special Thanks: Gary Locke, Paul Locke, Kurt Kilgis, The Riverside Marching Tigers and
the Riverside marching community.


"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Your sports team
is vastly inferior
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ That simple fact is
plainly obvious to see
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're gonna kick your
collective posterior
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Of course you realize
we're speaking figuratively
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Our stats are
thoroughly impressive
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Our coach really has
the Midas touch
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Our players are fast
and strong and brave
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And your guys, eh,
not so much
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ In fact we've played teams
across the nation
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And you're the worst
one we've come across
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Try to assimilate
that information
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And it just might help you
cope with your impending loss
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Oh, and if somehow we
are still failing
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ To effectively articulate
the points at hand
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Allow us now to summarize
them in a manner
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ That your feeble brains
can understand
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're great
(we're great)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And you suck
(you suck)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're great
(we're great)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And you suck
(you suck)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're great
(we're great)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And you suck
(you suck)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ You see there's us
(we're great)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And then there's you
(you suck)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're really, really great
(really great)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ In contrast, you really suck
(really suck)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Okay, full disclosure,
we're not that great
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ But nevertheless,
you suck
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Your sports team will soon
suffer swift defeat
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ That theory's backed up
by empirical evidence
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ We're gonna grind up
your guys into burger meat
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ Again, of course, we're
speaking in the figurative sense
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ What's the use of even
going through the motions
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ When you know that
you're gonna lose anyhow
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ So why don't you
save us all some time
"Weird Al" Yankovic: ♪ And give up now
(you suck!)
♪ ♪
(Funny or Die ending jingle)