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“Weird Al” Yankovic doesn't need a full marching band behind him to tell you your team sucks. But it definitely doesn't hurt.
Published July 18, 2014 1.8m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Featuring: "Weird Al" Yankovic, John Schwartz, Ian Jay, Steve Jay, Brian Warwick, Brett
Warwick, and The Riverside Marching Tigers
Director/Writer/Editor: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Director/Editor: Andy Bush
Producer: Ben Sheehan
Producer/1st AD: Sean Dacanay
Production Coordinator: Eleanor Winkler
DP: Scotty G. Field
1st AC (A Cam): James Jeffrey
1st AC (B Cam): Nick Forte
2nd AC: Nick Martin
Steadi Cam Op: Dustin Heindl
Camera Op: Tansy Simpson
Jib Operator: Chris Rhodes
Asst. Jib: Gerard Henderson
Key Grip: Farisai Kambarami
Best Boy Grip: Charles Gibson
Grip: John Nodorft
Gaffer: Adam Bial
Best Boy Electric: Matt Diamond
Lighting Tech: Mike Ross
H&MU Head: Jessica Leigh Schwartz
Asst. H&MU: Erin Blinn
Costumes: Emily Ting
Production Designer: Candy Lopez
Set Decorator: Ali Naqvi
PA: John Klymshyn, Aaron Majors, Dominic D'Astice, Grace Murphy
Special Thanks: Gary Locke, Paul Locke, Kurt Kilgis, The Riverside Marching Tigers and
the Riverside marching community.

1

(marching band music plays)

2

(sings) Your sports team
is vastly inferior

3

That simple fact is
plainly obvious to see

4

We're gonna kick your
collective posterior

5

Of course you realize
we're speaking figuratively

6

Our stats are
thoroughly impressive

7

Our coach really has
the Midas touch

8

Our players are fast
and strong and brave

9

And your guys, eh,
not so much

10

11

In fact we've played teams
across the nation

12

And you're the worst
one we've come across

13

Try to assimilate
that information

14

And it just might help you
cope with your impending loss

15

Oh, and if somehow we
are still failing

16

To effectively articulate
the points at hand

17

Allow us now to summarize
them in a manner

18

That your feeble brains
can understand

19

We're great
(we're great)

20

And you suck
(you suck)

21

We're great
(we're great)

22

And you suck
(you suck)

23

We're great
(we're great)

24

And you suck
(you suck)

25

You see there's us
(we're great)

26

And then there's you
(you suck)

27

We're really, really great
(really great)

28

In contrast, you really suck
(really suck)

29

Okay, full disclosure,
we're not that great

30

But nevertheless,
you suck

31

32

Your sports team will soon
suffer swift defeat

33

That theory's backed up
by empirical evidence

34

We're gonna grind up
your guys into burger meat

35

Again, of course, we're
speaking in the figurative sense

36

What's the use of even
going through the motions

37

When you know that
you're gonna lose anyhow

38

So why don't you
save us all some time

39

And give up now
(you suck!)

40

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