Kristen Bell's Body of Lies

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House of Lies

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Kristen Bell

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The scene opens with Kristen Bell being interviewed on set, then moves to a make-up trailer where two make-up artists are covering her numerous tattoos.

Kristen Bell: Not a lot of people know this about me. It’s a little trade secret from the Hollywood sandbox. But…

Make-Up Artist “Barb” (off camera): Oops, missed a spot.

Kristen Bell: I think the process of getting into character takes a little bit – thank you, Barb – takes a little bit longer for me than most other actors.

Barb: Kristen gets here about 3:30 AM every morning. It takes about 12 to 14 hours to cover up all of her tattoos.

Kristen Bell: Let’s just say I’ve accrued a lot of ink over the years.

Kristen Bell: I have 214 professional tattoos – um, and nine I’ve done myself.

Each piece of art represents something different. Taz – here – represents a whirlwind past relationship. I have Steve Urkel on my left shoulder blade and Stephan Urkel on my right, representing the duality of man.

I have a butterfly for each year the South African apartheid was enacted, so that’s 72 butterflies.

Interviewer (off camera): Extraordinary.

Kristen Bell shows a tattoo underneath her chin that reads “Insert Gear Here.”

Kristen Bell: Insert gear here – that’s a dick joke.

Kristen Bell points to Chinese character tattoos on her left and right arms.

Kristen Bell: Chinese symbols. You know, this one means dolphin (on-screen text shows the translation to be dolphin). This one means butterfly (on-screen text shows the translation to be butterfly). And I think this one means princess (on-screen text shows the translation to be prostitute).

Kristen Bell touches tattoos resembling headgear on each side of her face.

Kristen Bell: The first tattoo I ever got was in seventh grade. Uh, I was like, I really loved my headgear.

Interviewer (off camera): Do you regret any of them?

The camera pans down Kristen Bell’s arm, showing a tattoo of a troll doll, a tattoo that reads “I (heart) Windows 95” and a tribal tattoo on her wrist.

Kristen Bell: Uh, no…well…probably the tribal band on my wrist. I mean, it’s kind of outdated.

Interviewer (off camera): It’s really not.

Kristen Bell displays various tattoos for the camera.

Interviewer (off camera): Do you have a favorite?

Kristen Bell: Um, yeah: This is a tattoo of a tattooed tween listening to the bands Tatu and Wean on the planet Tatooine. It’s from the Star Wars Universe.

A time-lapse video shows the tattoo cover-up process.

An unnamed male enters the room and hands Kristen Bell a coffee cup. Text on the video shows that it is 7:00 AM.

Unnamed Male: Venti mocha latte.

Kristen Bell: Thank you.

The unnamed male enters the room with a box. Text on the video shows that it is 12:00 PM.
Unnamed Male: I got lunch.

The unnamed male enters the room with bags. Text on the video shows that it is 2:15 PM.
Unnamed Male: Tofurkey jerky.

The unnamed male enters the room with a box. Text on the video shows that it is 5:00 PM.
Unnamed Male: Chocolates.

Barb: It’s fun. It’s fun. Can I get three more of these? (pointing to her coffee cup)

A second time-lapse video shows more of the tattoo cover-up process.

Text on the video shows that it is now 6:15 PM.

Barb: Okay, finito.

Kristen Bell: Thank you. (laughs)

Barb: Mm. hmm.

Unnamed Male: Great. Let’s get Kristen to wardrobe.

Kristen Bell: Great, how do I look?

Unnamed Male: Good.

Kristen Bell is now on set filming a scene as she holds a stuffed penguin.

Kristen Bell: I thought I was the one saving you, Spot. But I guess it was you who saved me.

Director: And cut. That’s it - that’s a wrap for the day. Thanks, Kristen.

The crew can be heard clapping off camera.

Kristen Bell: Thanks, guys. I’m gonna go shower for five hours.

Interviewer: What’s the longest you’ve been in makeup for a film?

Kristen Bell: Um…15 hours. But, that’s because while they were covering me up, I was getting fresh ink.

New scene shows Barb covering up Kristen Bell’s tattoos as a tattoo artist is giving her a new tattoo.

Kristen Bell: Oh that’s tits.

The scene ends and cuts to the Inside Hollywood logo.