- Whoa baby boy,
my hat is a cork,
my hat is a cork!
I'm in Napa, Caffilornia.
Home of the Slap the Bag.
Let's go hold our pinkies in the air
and have a good time.
(pleasant string music)
Get out of my ass but leave the lights on,
I'm at the famous Nipple River.
They say it's a hundred feet splish splash,
and it flows with the sweetest of Franzia.
Look at these drunk ass ducks.
Get out of the wine, ya nasty boys!
Are you joking my ass?
They got instructions how to do the Cucaracha.
Hey honey, look at all these nasty beehives.
Only in Nipple Calesthenics.
People told me,
"Ryan, you're gonna love the art in Nalpal, California."
And I said,
Lot of people think that Nepal is a pretentious,
hoity-toity, boring kind of place.
But you're damn right they have danosaurs!
Wow baby boy, the Napa Valley Opera House.
♫ Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-lee snopes
I'm at Nascar's famous 9/11 Memorial.
They say it's a hundred feet big
and I'm not sure why Napa has one.
Tell you what, seeing all these damn cherries around
is making me thirsty as hell.
They told me
"Ryan, don't get too drunk on all the fine wines."
And I was like,
Piss on my face in private, look at the size of this church.
If Jesus turned water into wine,
this must, this must be,
this has gotta, this must be the damn brewery.
You know, I've always wanted to hang out with The Rock.
Oh wait, look at that!
They told me, "Ryan, don't forget to do a tasting."
And I was like,
I told this fella, "Hey fella, my Asian doesn't work,"
and he said,
"Well Eur-Asian Autowerkes!"
In all honesty, I might have to change my undies later
'cause drinking wine gives me a loose caboose!
What a day I've had here in Napa.
Now I get to kick back with a glass of the bad cherries.
It even was the best day of my whole life.