How I Seize It #81: "Rape"

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Hey!
This Loretta Jenkins of How I Seize It infamy
and y'all know I like to drink and fuck-
Cheers, whores!
But my first true love is, of course,
bitchin'.
But I hate havin' to bitch about shit
I consider as bein' dead in the waters.
Like I didn't know the definition of rape
was up for debate, did you?
I know we still hashin' out our devisiveness
on marriage and conception-
Least we workin' our shit out on that.
I say if a politician can make rape statements
that make us question his reality,
he ought to be forced to spend
some of that reality
in a real life rape situation.
Drop his old wrinkly ass in the pen
and let him see what legitimate rape really like.
I recommend his rapist-in-question be a
hung-to-the-floor, diseased motherfucker,
but that's just my personal preference.
Hey, Republicunts...
rape is when you FORCE a woman to have sex.
Caprice?
I mean I like it rough,
but if you got a bitch pinned down
and she's hollerin' "No!"
and she ain't smilin'
and she ain't interjectin' her no's with
"Smack my ass, daddy,"
then you might be a-rapin' her.
So stop it!
No mean no!
Unless y'all got a safe word or somethin'.
I don't know what sayin' no is like,
so I figure that rape must be awful.
For one,
you rarely see a good lookin' rapist
when they flash up his mug
on the newscast.
Havin' an ugly rapist dude dick in you?
That's an additional reason for you to be able
to abort a rape baby cause
an ugly baby?
Eeeeek!
Let's keep the world purty, y'all!
Hell, I don't know.
As much as I drink,
every dude end up lookin' like
Burt Reynolds or Charlton Heston to me.
Hey, y'all,
I read out there the other day
that there's this judge out in Scandanavia.
This Sweedle-Finder-Deuchy man,
he ruled that a man can't be no victim of rape.
Obviously, this mother fucker ain't
never been to jail.
I do see his point though,
cause us womens gets called sluts and whores,
but really it's the mens in our genus pool
what's really is the ho-bags
in this battle of the sexes.
Sides, ain't most Scandanavian men
all blonde and hot and muscley
and named Lars
and rite likely queer for that fact?
I mean we are talkin' bout all the countries
that was the first to approve gay marriages.
It's always been my presumption
that gays likes the rape thing,
so he might be right.
I can only venture to guess
since I ain't never been enrolled
in no Scandanavian Law School.
But I would like to address to the court
that I lost my place in my train of thought
about twenty seconds ago.
I don't really agree with that term 'statutory rape,'
cause I mean, come on,
let's face it.
Teens is horny
and they need a good guide-fuck
like I stated previously.
Callin' that statue rape is misleadin',
unless you talkin' about somebody
who cruise around and try to rape
one of those statue peoples.
Like them crusty fucks
down at the French Quarte
what don't move.
Or like if you rape one of those
live window models?
Them live mannequins!
Or one of them tall, fuzzy-headed fucks
down over at the Buckerham Palace!
That stand like all-
Grrrrr!
I think if you rape someone?
Fuck prison!
Cause the mother fucker just gonna have
more holes to satisfy his rapin'
fantasies and desires.
I say we do one of two things...
Rapist's Choice!
He can either have what's behind door #1.
Which is,
the bastard gotta stick his dick
in a meatgrinder,
and crank his shaft
down to a bloody stump-nugget...
Or he can have what's in the box on the floor!
Just lop that pecker off,
split that coop,
and turn that cock into a hen!
Mandated Sex Changes
For ALL Rapers!
That's called Hamurabi's Code, y'all.
You wanna be in a vagina so bad?
POOF!
There's your pussy!
And that's How I Seize It!