Arnold Schwarzenegger calls Donald Trump for some advice about taking over as host of 'Celebrity Apprentice.'

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September 15, 2015


Hello, this is is a go for the Donald.
Donald, it's Arnold.
Arnold, how are you buddy?
Truly fantastic.
I don't know if you heard the
news, but I'm the new host
of The Celebrity Apprentice.
Yes, I heard.
Are you calling to offer me
a part in the Expendables 4?
Because I'll tell you out
now, the answer is absolutely...
Absolutely yes, I'll be in Expendables 4.
No, I just need some advice
on how to run the show Donald.
I mean, what can I say about
The Apprentice.
It helped ratings when I
involve my kids, okay.
Try firing celebrities, with your
illegitimate, have Mexican self.
That is a great idea.
It would be nice to finally
meet him in person.
I can send that woman back to
Mexico if you would like me to do that.
Cool. Let me think about it,
and who knows, after The
Apprentice maybe I'll run for President.
Arnold, Arnold, let's not get
ahead of ourselves here, okay.
You're not qualified.
But I was the Governor.
Arnold, that means nothing.
Okay, successfully hosting
The Apprentice is the only
barometer of presidential readiness.
Okay, but then what other
tips can you give me to
succeed at hosting the show?
Well okay, for me what worked
perfectly was having a
catch phrase, okay.
I took two simple words, fired and
your, and I turned it into a
multi-million dollar cash
cow for NBC at the NBC store, okay.
It was on hats, t-shirts
It's got to be short and punchy.
So give me give me maybe one
example of what your catch
phrase might be Arnold.
Okay, okay, something like
your employment is ending at
this time. We don't need your skills anymore.
You haven't made enough
charity money to stay in the game.
It's not how I feel about you
as a person, but it's how...
Just the game works, and it
doesn't work if I
don't eliminate you, because
somebody has to be eliminated
every week in order to boil it all down to one person.
Something like that?
Okay, Arnold, in addition to
having a fantastic catch
phrase you've also got to
have some challenges set up
for the contestants, okay.
Maybe like teaching a
kindergarten class, or
stopping a robot apocalypse--
Let's slow down, okay.
What if you just have them
build a wall, okay.
It would save me a lot of
trouble if we could get NBC
to pay for the wall.
Anything for you Donald.
Oh Arnold.
Yes, Darnold.
It's our two first names
combined to make one big name.
I like that. That's what
they'll call us
when I ask you to be my running mate.
Donald, I'm flattered but you
know I'm an immigrant right?
And my papers aren't even up
to date.
Oh, don't you worry about that.
We only care about the brown ones.
Listen, Arnie, I've got to go, alright.
I'm flying to the Republican
The helicopter is waiting.
Donald, head for the chopper.
Do it now.
Get in the chopper.
I would love to be in Expendables 4.
I mean, I can see it now.
I save a beautiful woman along
with Terry Crews.
Terry Crews and me we're like
the buddies of Expendables 4.
I play like his old friend
that comes back,
Stallone recruits me, and I
haven't seen Terry Crews in a
long time but we're like
buddies, we're like
Murtaugh, Riggs from Lethal
Weapon, black and white.
What do you think about that?