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VOTE FUNNY OR U RACIST Starring Phil Augusta Jackson Ryan Stanger and Colton Dunn... more »
Published August 27, 2014 310k views Immortal More Info ยป
9,305 Funny Votes
2,242 Die Votes
314,936 Views
Published August 27, 2014

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(upbeat whistle driven music plays)

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>: MM, I LOVE ICE CREAM.

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OH, HI OFFICER.
IS EVERYTHING OK?

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>: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ON THIS PREMISES?!

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>: THIS IS WHERE I LIVE...

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>: DON'T GET SMART.
I'M GOING TO ASK YOU
ONE MORE TIME.

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WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ON THIS PRIVATE PREMISES?!

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>: THIS IS MY PRIVATE
PREMISES. I LIVE HERE

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AND I'M EATING AN
ICE CREAM CONE.

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(music amps up)
>: GOAT SHIT!

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I'M NOT BUYING IT.
YOU'RE NOT COOPERATING.

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I GOT A POSSIBLE ROBBERY IN
PROGRESS AT 1-0-NINER--

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>: ROBERY?
>: SUSPECT LOOKS TO BE
6 FOOT 8 INCHES

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TALL.
>: I'M 5, 11.

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>: HE'S GOT AN ATHLETIC BUILD,
AND LOOKS TO BE ABOUT

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220 TO 240 POUNDS, AND...

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HE'S AFRICAN AMERICAN.
>: OK, ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW
OFFICER I'M NOT

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SURE IF THERE WAS A ROBERY,
OR SOMETHING HERE RECENTLY, BUT

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I--
(officer breathes heavily)

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>: --ASSURE YOU THAT I'VE
BEEN SITTING HERE ON THIS

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STOOP FOR THE PAST 45 MINUTES,
EATING THIS ICE CREAM

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CONE, AND IT HAD LIKE
10 SCOOPS ON IT.

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>: DROP THE WEAPON!
>: WOAH, WOAH.

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HOW DID YOU-- SIR, THIS IS
CLEARLY A DELICIOUS ICE

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CREAM CONE. I THINK YOU'RE
OVER REACTING.

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>: DROP IT! SUSPECT IS
ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

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HE HAS A WEAPON HE PROBABLY
STOLE FROM A LOCAL

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BUSINESS.
>: OK, SO NOW NOT ONLY

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IS MY ICE CREAM A WEAPON,
BUT YOU THINK I STOLE IT?

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>: YES.
>: OK.

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>: HE PULLED OFF A HEIST.
I NEED BACK UP HERE IMMEDIATELY.

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>: WHAT DID I DO?
>: YOU HAD AN ICE CREAM
CONE YOU

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TRIED TO KILL ME WITH--
>: Black Male: WOW.

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>: --THAT WILL STAND UP
IN A COURT OF LAW.

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>: WHAT?
>: THERE'S NOT A COURT IN THE LAND--
>: Black Male: OK.

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>: --THAT WILL CONVICT ME FROM
BLOWING YOUR HEAD OFF.

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>: EVERY COURT WOULD.
>: HEY, I WILL KILL YOU.

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DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

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PUT YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR.

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>: A GILLY SUIT, REALLY?
WHAT IS THIS, CALL OF DUTY?

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>: I SAID, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR.

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PUT BOTH HANDS IN THE AIR.
>: MY LEFT ARM IS PARALYZED.

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>: SUSPECT HAS LEFT ARM
PARALYZED DUE TO GANG ACTIVITY.

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>: I PARALYZED MY LEFT ARM IN IRAQ.
>: SUSPECT IS PARALYZED

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DUE TO POSSIBLE
TERRORIST ACTIVITY.

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>: DUDE, I LOVE ICE CREAM.
(gun shot is heard)

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>: WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS?

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(soft piano music is played)

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>: Officer: SHIT.

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I NEED TO CALM
THE FUCK DOWN.

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A MESSAGE FROM THE UNARMED
BLACK MEN OF AMERICA.

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Up Next:

Good Cop, Baby Cop

AUTOPLAY
Up Next In: 10
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