A new take on Tom Lehrer's classic ditty

Full Credits



There’s Percocet and Percodan and Darvocet Amoxycillan
Phenobarbitol and Paracetamol and Oxycontin
Lipitor and Lidocaine and Pennicillin Prednisone
And Co-deine Hoodia Promethazine and Methadone
Valium and Celebrex and Thorazine Klonopin
Lithium and Nexium Abilify and Ritalin
Zoloft Zyrtec Ambien and Nizorol
And Ventolin and Vicodin and Insulin and Tylenol

Test-os-ter-one Viagra Cialis Abilify
Pyrin-itramide and Thalidimyde
Butabarbitol Oxazapam and Clozapine
Flurazipam Halazapam and Aderall and Rogaine

Those are for serious conditions Let’s do those for recreation

There’s Mescaline and Psilocybin Peyote Ketamine
And Opium and Crack Cocaine and Heroin Amphetamines
And Methamphetamines and Alcohol and Cannibis
And PCP and Morphine Ecstasy and Nicotine Angel Dust

Rufies Goofie Bo Bo Meow Meow Dexies Crossies West Coast Turnarounds
Tic Whack Ice Glass Easy Lay and Cryptonite
Rain-bows Jellies Whizbang and Dynamite

There’s Double Trouble Prime Time Fry Daddy Ready Rock
Caspers Cookies Easy Lay and Toss Ups
Goofballs Golf Balls Eight Balls Speed Balls
Skunk Chronic Indica Marijuana Ganja

Let’s talk about side effects

Please be careful not to operate heavy machinery
It may give you constipation Cardio Myopathy
Diarrhea Vomiting and difficulty swallowing
And Nervousness Incontinence and Dizziness and Impotence

Dry Mouth Headaches Suicidal Tendancies Seizures Lesions Complicated Pregnancy
Temporary Nausea Homosexuality
Anal Leakage Anal Fissures Dual Personality

Chest Pain Neck Pain Occasional Dyslexia Laryngitis Gingivitus Hyper-Pyrexia
Paranoia Loss of Vision Frequent Urine Indecision
If you get into a car you may wind up in a collision

I’m sure that they have not yet discovered them all
Just get me out of bed when they invent Fukitol