God accidentally inspires Adele to make an odd career decision.

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November 12, 2015
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Transcript

Hello, and welcome to
"Good God! with God".
I'm God, and today's
episode is brought to you
by the platypus. The
platypus. It's one of my
weirder things I've done.
It's got a bill, lays eggs,
it's also a mammal, and
they only live in Australia.
I like them.
I love them.
Check them out.
Alright, so today we have
a very special guest.
I'm a huge fan.
She's got an album coming
out soon. I'm talking about
the one,
the only, Adele.
Hello Adele. How are you?
Hello. Hello.
When I made humans I was like, ah man, it would
be cool if they could make
music, and you're
nailing it right now.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh my...I mean, you can't
really beat a compliment
from God.
Sometimes I just watch your
Youtubes, and I
cry, you know, it's a
good cry. It's like awesome.
I don't like how
people say that the moment
they hear my voice,
they are immediately sad, crying...
What would you feel if the
sound of your voice did that to people?
I kind of understand.
A lot of people say
my laugh is weird.
Can I hear it?
(he laughs)
Do you want to
hear my laugh?
I would love to
hear your laugh.
(she laughs)
That's your laugh?
What's your favorite
thing to do?
My favorite thing to do?
Probably give little
animals baths. I like to
(inaudible) the animals, and
give them little baths.
I see the joy in their
faces, and I think it's fun.
I like to get them
all soapy, and make their
fur into like a mohawk,
and I'm like, "Who's got the mohawk?"
and then they're like...
(he mimics an animal)
Then I'm like, "Ah, yeah?"
Yeah. It's probably
the best.
That and hammocks.
Can you look at me, and
see what animal I might've been?
I can tell you what animal
you actually were.
'Cause yeah, when everyone
dies I kind of
take the stuff, use it again,
and make something new.
It's like reincarnation.
The last animal that you were
was a happy little squirrel.
(gasps) I love squirrels.
Yeah. You were a happy
little squirrel.
This makes so
much sense.
Yeah.
I'm going to quit singing.
What?
I'm going to quit singing.
What?
And I'm going to sit
in the park, and I'm going
to talk to squirrels.
No, you see, that was
another life. Now you're
a beautiful singer.
Your squirrel life was great.
It's over now. So just
be Adele, the singer.
But they know, because I feel
like squirrels are talking to me.
They're not talking to you.
They don't pick up
on the fact that you used
to be a squirrel.
Adele, please do
not quit music.
I'm calling my manager
right now--
You don't need to do that.
--to let him know that
I'm quitting singing,
and that I want to
be with them squirrels.
You also used to be a
guy in Germany in 1577,
whose job it was to grab
mud from the river bank,
and haul it up to the
village. You were a mud mover.
You don't want to be
a mud mover.
Yeah, I'm going to scoop
mud, and then I'm
going to go over to the
squirrels, and say,
"I know you. I was you."
Ah man. Adele.
I love mud.
Are you just thinking
that know, because I told you
what one of your past
lives were?
No. When I wrote
"Chasing Pavements"--
Right. Yeah, that's
a great song.
--there's a lot of rain
in that song, I really
wanted to call it Mud.
Just mud?
Yeah, I love mud.
Look Adele, mud's great.
I love mud too, you know.
It provides nutrients.
Hippos eat it. I love it.
But I feel like, keep singing.
Take a month.
Keep promoting the album.
Let it sell well.
See how you're feeling,
you know. Do some concerts.
I really can't wait
to be a mud mover.
Oh man. I blew that one.
Alright, I'm sorry.
Shoot. Man.
You got free will.
I can't stop you.
So if you want to do that
alright, whatever.
That's all the time we
have for the show.
Thank you so much to
Adele for coming on--
Thanks so much
for having me.
Oh, it was a real pleasure.
I hope your
album is very successful.
Once again, today's
show is brought to you
by the platypus.
The platypus.
It's got venom, feet.
They're fascinating.
They sow nuts.
I love them. I made them.
Check them out.
Alright, God out!
[Funny or Die ending jingle]

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