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Patton Oswalt sets up a sting operation to confront his most vocal internet critics face-to-face. But he's in for a big surprise.
Published May 18, 2014 230k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
CREDITS
Starring Patton Oswalt
Featuring
Peter Porte
Xosha Roquemore
Dink O'Neal
Pam Murphy
Tarik Ellinger
Avriella Ford
Fiona Perry
DeMorge Brown
D'Arcy Carden
Nelson Cheng
Barak Hardley
Bunny Gibson
Peter Greathouse
Bill Kottkamp
Director Charles Ingram
Writer Jack Allison, Jake Fogelnest
Producer Rachel Goldenberg
Coordinator Becca Scheuer
DP Mike Karnell
Editor Kegan Swyers
AC/Cam Op Justin Westfall
Gaffer David Cronin
Key Grip Ian Thomas
Swing Carlos Chavez
Production Design Tricia Robertson
Sound Ryan Kaiser
Wardrobe David Browne
Wardrobe Asst (Prep) Jillian Talley
Hair/MU Jen Osborne
PA Ashley Holloway
Thanks Steve Marchese, Jeff Zemetis
6,478 Funny Votes
1,454 Die Votes
230,232 Views
Published May 18, 2014

PEOPLE SAY SOME PRETTY NASTY
STUFF ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET.
SO I, POSING AS A PATTON OSWALT
HATER SET UP A MEETING OF SOME OF
MY MOST VOCAL CRITICS.
LET'S SEE IF THESE LOSERS
HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF BALLS
WITHOUT THE ANONYMITY
OF THE INTERNET.
(MUSIC PLAYS)
I'M HERE FOR THE PATTON
OSWALT HATER GROUP.
THAT'S US.
LOOK EVERYBODY IT'S PATTON. WOW!
OH, I THINK YOU ARE SO UNFUNNY.
OH WELL, I THINK YOU'RE A COWARD.
Y-YOU JUST HIDE BEHIND
A COMPUTER ALL DAY.
I'M NOT A COWARD. I'M AN
IRAQ WAR VETERAN, AND NOW I RUN
A FORTUNE 500 HUNDRED COMPANY.
OH.
I'M JUST THRILLED FOR THE
OPPORTUNITY TO FINALLY TELL YOU
FACE TO FACE THAT I THINK YOU'RE GAY.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY, I THINK
YOUR NASILY NERD VOICE RUINED
RATATOUILLE.
OH, AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
I WORK FOR HABITAT FOR
HUMANITY. I ALSO VOLUNTEER
AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER.
(GUY'S VOICE): PATTON!
CHUCK HOUSER HERE. YOU KNOW,
LOOKING AT YOUR NUDE BODY IN
YOUNG ADULT MADE ME
WANT TO VOMIT.
HEY, AT LEAST I'M MAKING MOVIES.
YOU MUST HAVE A
LOT OF FREE TIME, IF YOU'RE
SPENDING IT CUTTING PEOPLE DOWN
ON THE INTERNET.
ACTUALLY BETWEEN BEING A BEST
SELLING AUTHOR, AND RAISING MY KIDS
I'M EXTREMELY BUSY. BUT IT ONLY
TAKES 2 SECONDS TO GO ONLINE TO
CALL YOU NERD-DICK, COMIC
BOOK READING, BITCH. (LAUGHS)
LISTEN YOU MUTANT, I KNOW IT
MIGHT BE CRUEL, BUT I ALWAYS
FELT THAT DIRECT HONESTY IS THE
BEST WAY I CAN HELP PEOPLE
REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL.
(VOICE ECHOS) FULL POTENTIAL...
FULL POTENTIAL.
(VOICE ECHOS) THAT MOVIE
YOU'RE IN, SHOULD'VE BEEN CALLED
SECRET LIFE OF WALTER SHITTY.
(VOICE ECHOS) YOU DO A GREAT
JOB PLAYING THAT HEAVY SET
LESBIAN ON ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK...
(VOICE ECHOS) SO YOU'RE OK
WITH BEING A GROWN MAN WHO GETS UP
ON STAGE, AND MAKES JOKES
ABOUT CHEWBACCA?
(VOICE ECHOS) YOU'RE A TINY
LITTLE TROLL PERSON, AND I
STRAIGHT UP DISLIKE YOU.
FINE, I GET IT. OK.
I CAME HERE, BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD BE A BUNCH OF
LOSERS. CLEARLY I WAS-- I MEAN,
THIS GUY IS ON SEAL TEAM 6.
YOU SUCK.
OH, BUT THIS GUY WITH THE
BEARD, YOU DEFINITELY LOOK
LIKE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOM.
OH YEAH, I DO LIVE WITH MY MOM.
HA!
SHE HAS ALZHEIMER'S.
I'LL JUST GO.
(SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)
(PATTON): THAT WAS HUMBLING.
I CAME HERE TO EXPOSE THE
TROLLS OF THE INTERNET,
AND THE GARBAGE AND NOISE THAT
THEY SPEW... DAMMIT I END UP MEETING
THE GREATEST PEOPLE ALIVE.
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU PATTON OSWALT?
YES, HELLO.
YOU ARE THE WORSE THING
ON AGENTS OF SHIELD. PLEASE
STOP TAKING A PISS ALL
OVER THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.
-THANK YOU.
-NO, NO, NO, NO...
-THANK YOU, THANK YOU...
-I HATE WHAT YOUR... I HATE YOUR WORK.
I KNOW.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
WATCH AS WE HONOR THE BEST
OF THE WEB AT THE WEBBY'S.
HOSTED BY PATTON OSWALT.
WITH HALLMARK SPEECHES BY
WINNERS INCLUDING DE LA SOUL,
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK,
TAYLOR SCHILLING, FREDDIE WONG,
ITS GRACE, THE FOUNDERS OF
VINE AND KICKSTARTER, (INAUDIBLE)
AND SPECIAL PERFORMANCES BY
FRED ARMISEN AND MORE.
AVAILABLE ON-DEMAND MAY 20TH.
WATCH IT AT YOUTUBE.COM/WEBBY.

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