A secret society of Hollywood actresses reveals just how powerful black women really are.
Published June 15, 2014 190k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
CAST:
Jurnee Smollett-Bell
Alfre Woodard
Tracee Ellis Ross
Meagan Good
Nicole Byer
Retta
Loretta Devine
Directors - William Knight, Jeremy Ebenstein, Martin Sprints
Cult Members - Carla Mitchell, Charlotte Plummer, Tiffany Royale, Andrea Arboleda, Red Carpet Reporter - Eliza Skinner
Red Carpet Photographer - Wil Jordan, Doug Tyler, Jim VanBlaricum
CREW:
Director(s): Jack Bishop, Justin Nijm
Writer: Eliza Skinner
Producer: Ally Hord
1st AD/Coordinator: Sean Dacanay
DP: Mike Karnell
1st AC: Justin Westfall
2nd AC: Noel Vida
Gaffer: Hitoshi Tomonon
Electrician: Armando Colunga
Key Grip: Andy Murillo
BB Grip: Kevin Hahn
Wardrobe: Tala Bakhtar
H&MU: Jessica Leigh Schwartz
H&MU: Jen Osborne
MU Artist: Maisha Olive
MU Artist: Autumn Moultrie
MU Artist: Tatiana Efimova
Prod Designer: Tricia Robertson
Art Director: Mike Robertson
Sound Mixer: Shannon Deane for BoTown Sound
Editor: Chris Poole
PA: Joseph Waggoner
PA: Eleanor Winkler
PA: John Klumshyn
5,382 Funny Votes
1,410 Die Votes
190,333 Views
Published June 15, 2014

HEY SHRINKY DYNKS. IT'S
TABITHA DYNK HERE
OUTSIDE THE ARCLIGHT
HOLLYWOOD FOR THE
PREMIERE OF MY SISTAS
WEDDING STARRING
JURNEE SMOLLETT.
WE'RE REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE--
OH, IT LOOKS LIKE JURNEE'S HERE.
(TABITHA): MIKE ARE YOU
GETTING THE WHOLE DRESS?
MAKE SURE YOU GET THE
WHOLE LOOK.
(EXPLOSION)
(TABITHA): MIKE, ARE YOU STILL...
I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
I THINK I LOST MY EYE LASHES.
(WOMAN'S VOICE): FOLLOW
ME JURNEE. I'M A FRIEND.
(JURNEE): WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON?
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
TO YOUR DESTINY.
(DOOR CLOSES)
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
THIS IS THE GREATEST
SECRET IN ALL OF HOLLYWOOD.
BESIDES ROB LOWE'S
HAIRLINE.
WELCOME JURNEE.
THIS IS WHERE WE
SECRETLY CONTROL
EVERYTHING UP THERE.
YOU WERE IN THE
ARCLIGHT THEATER?
OH NO, THE SCIENTOLOGISTS
RUN THE
ARCLIGHT.
BLACK WOMAN RUN HOLLYWOOD.
(LAUGHS)
ALFRE WHAT'S GOING ON?
MAN, YA'LL LOOK LIKE YOU
TRYING TO STEAL
A RING FROM A HOBBIT.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED
WHY BLACK WOMAN
PLAY SUCH MINOR
ROLES IN MOVIES?
WHY MORE OF US AREN'T
DIRECTOR'S OR PRODUCERS?
RACISM, SEXISM, BOTH?
WE HAVE BEEN FLYING
UNDER THE RADAR
DARLING TO MAINTAIN
COMPLETE CONTROL.
EVERY MOVIE YOU SEE,
EVERY SONG YOU THINK
YOU LIKE EVERY TV SHOW
IN YOUR DVR.
WE PUT THEM THERE SUGAH.
(METAL DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
SHALL WE DIRECT YOU
A MOVIE, HUH?
HOW ABOUT A ROMANTIC
SCI-FI COMEDY?
NOT NOW.
WOAH... WHAT?
GRASS FED.
OOH...
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I
MEAN, WOULDN'T IT MAKE MORE
SENSE FOR US TO JUST
ACTUALLY BE IN THE
SPOTLIGHT? YOU KNOW,
SHOWING PEOPLE WHAT
WE CAN DO, LIKE BEYONCÉ
AND OPRAH?
WHAT, SO WE CAN GET
BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING
PEOPLE DON'T LIKE?
DO YOU THINK I WANT
PEOPLE TO KNOW I
GREEN LIT TRANSCENDENCE?
I GUESS I JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND HOW THIS
ACTUALLY HELPS ANYONE.
WE TRADED CREDIT FOR
FREEDOM AND CONTROL.
BEYONCÉ AND OPRAH BOTH
WERE OPERATIVES ONCE,
BUT IF AN OPERATIVE
GETS TO VISIBLE WE
HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO
DEACTIVATE THEM.
BEYONCÉ ALMOST CAUSED
US OUR WHOLE OPERATION.
WHO RUN THE WORLD?
GIRL...
THAT GIRL WAS PLAYING
WITH FIRE.
(SINGS) FIRE...
THINK ABOUT IT JURNEE,
IF YOU CONTROL THE
MEDIA YOU CONTROL
THE WORLD.
HAVE YOU EVER
HAD A DUNKAROO?
WHAT?
A DUNKAROO. YOU KNOW,
ONE OF THOSE LITTLE COOKIES.
OH, YEAH, I THINK
I'VE EATEN ONE BEFORE.
AND DID YOU LIKE IT?
FUCKIN' NASTY.
TOTALLY.
BUT STILL YOU DON'T
JUST DUNK YOU...
- YOU DUNKAROO.
- YOU DUNKAROO.
BECAUSE THE TV TELLS
YOU TO DUNKAROO.
SO YOU SHUT YOUR
FUCKING MOUTH AND YOU
EAT YOUR FUCKING
COOKIES.
TRACEE! DON'T, JUST...
PRETTY SOON, THE WHOLE
WORLD IS CHOKING ON
THEIR MOTHER
FUCKIN' DUNKAROOS.
SO WE MAKE DUNKAROOS.
N-NO, IT WAS JUST AN EXAMPLE.
SO NO DUNKAROOS.
SWEETIE, OUR LITTLE
COVENANT IS MUCH OLDER
AND MORE POWERFUL
THAN YOU KNOW.
FOLLOW ME.
(SCOFFS) I DON'T KNOW
WHY WE HAVE TO WEAR
THESE ROBES EVERY
TIME WE DO THIS.
I MEAN I GET IT, WE'RE
REALLY INTENSE BUT
GET SOME CUTE TRACKSUITS
OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW. I KIND
OF LIKE IT. THEY'RE
JUST SO BREEZY.
BREEZY? I'M SWEATING
MY BALLS OFF UNDER HERE.
WHAT YOU WEARING
UNDER THERE?
AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR
SOMETHING UNDER THIS?
UH, YEAH.
OOPS.
NOTHING?
LIKE NOTHING, NOTHING?
OH MAN, THIS IS A
LOT TO TAKE IN.
I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT
WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS
SOMETHING MUCH
MORE IMPORTANT.
YOUR NEXT PROJECT.
OH MY GOD. ALFRE, I'M
GOING TO STAR OPPOSITE
GEORGE CLOONEY?
NO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
PLAYING HIS SISTER'S NANNY.
BUT FROM THERE YOU
WILL SECRETLY GUIDE
THE PROJECT, AND AS A
RESULT SAVE 3 SPECIES
OF DOLPHINS FROM
EXTINCTION.
WHAT THE HELL I GIVE A
DAMN ABOUT SAVING SOME
DOLPHINS? AND HOW AM
I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAVE THEM?
YOU DON'T NEED TO
KNOW THAT.
I THINK I DO.
YOU WILL HAVE HELP
WHEN YOU NEED IT.
REMEMBER, WHEN BLACK
WOMAN STICK TOGETHER
WE ARE THE MOST POWERFUL
FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE.
AND DON'T WORRY, YOU
WON'T HAVE TO GET YOUR
HAIR WET.

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