I really hope he listens to us, you know? What if this doesn't work? It has to. He can't keep living like this.
Ok, everyone, he's here. This is it. We're gonna have to tell him that if he doesn't accept help, we can't enable his behavior any longer. Aiden, are you good? We're here for you. Ok. *exhales* Woah! Hi, Jonathan. Please. Sit. This is kinda strange. What are you all doing in my apartment? What is, uh, what's going on you guys? First off, you know that we love you very much. And we're all here today because we feel that with everything going on in the world, we need you to stop being this happy. *snorts* What?
Ok, I'll start. Jonathan, you are aware that Donald J. Trump is our president now? Yeah, of course. And yet... You're happy? He's not who I voted for obviously and things are good in my life right now, guys, I'm happy. Jesus. This same old s*** again! OK, alright, listen. Jonathan I'm gonna say something, alright? And i really want you to hear me. North Korea is like 3 days away from nuking everyone you love, ok? Kim Jong Un is a lunatic! Casey, even if that's true, I literally have no control over that and I have to carry on with my life and things are good right now. Ahh! *grunts* Ok, someone else talk cause i think I'm gonna- I'm gonna rage on you! I'm about to rage on him! Jonathan... I just feel like you *unintelligible* * crying* Aiden! Look what you did? Look what you did to her? Ok, Jonathan! So, the Great Barrier Reef disappearing just has no affect on you, huh? Or the fact that we're likely living in a giant simulation and none of this is real?! I'm happy to be here I think this life is a gift. Ok, Jonathan, take a look at this glass of water and tell me what do you see? Oh, it's half full. *crying* Why?! Ok, ok, listen, we want you to go into rehab! For being happy? It's two weeks in a holocaust museum.I'm not doing that. 40 min of CNN. No! Spend 5 min with an old person. Stop! Ok, Jonathan, at least go see my therapist, she makes me feel like s*** every time.Tara, you should probably find another therapist- No! she wants to feel like s***. Have you tried self-medication? I want you to have this pill. Take it! Geez, Oscar, this says Chantix. Isn't that to help people quit smoking? Yeah, but one of the side-effects is suicidal depression. I'm not taking this pill! Ow! Oh my god! What are you doing? Oh my god! Look what you're doing to Aiden! Why do you do this?! Jonathan, we didn't want to have to do this, but you've given us no choice. What is this? If you won't change your behavior then you can no longer be in my life. What? Casey does not want you as his best man. Casey! Oscar says Wednesday trivia nights are over. Oscar, c'mon! Really?! Aiden will no longer invite you to Friendsgiving. Aiden! And Kelsey... Kelsey, how long have you been here? I'm sorry, I love you, but we have to break up. What?! Guys, you're kidding me. You're supposed to be my friends. I can't believe you'd act this way when things are going well in my life. It really hurts me. How does that make you feel? Sad, Oscar. Welcome back, buddy! *cheering* Yeah! Ok, please get out of my apartment. Yes!!! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Is it real?! Oh, my god! Oh! We did this! We did it! I'm so proud!