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You're Welcome: Oscars Recap and Florida News
Published March 04, 2014 14k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Darryl Gudmundson: Writer/Producer
Dashiell Driscoll: Writer/Actor
Elizabeth Baquet: Producer
Ally Hord: Writer/Producer
Ben Forman: Sound
Aaron Ulrich: DP
Matt Sweeney: Camera
Jessica Leigh Schwartz: Hair and Makeup
Jack Bishop and Justin Nijm: Directors/Editors
1,160 Funny Votes
223 Die Votes
13,929 Views
Published March 04, 2014

1

HI GUYS. DASHIELL DRISCOLL HERE.
THERE'S A GREAT BIG INTERNET OUT THERE,

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AND FUNNY OR DIE FOUND THE BEST PARTS.

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YOU'RE WELCOME.

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IN NEWS THAT HAPPENED A FEW DAYS AGO, THE
OSCARS ARE STILL A THING.

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43 MILLION PEOPLE TUNED INTO THE AWARD
SHOW, BUT THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE NIGHT

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HAPPENED ON TWITTER. ELLEN'S START STUDDED
SELFIE BROKE A WORLD RECORD

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WITH OVER 3 MILLION RETWEETS.

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CHRISSY TEIGEN GOT THIS COOL BEHIND THE
SCENES PHOTO, AND SOMEONE ELSE SNAPPED A

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PIC OF LIZA MINNELLI STRUGGLING TO GET
IN ON THE ACTION.

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LIKE A REAL LIFE DROOPY.

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THE INTERNET AS USUAL STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE
IMMEDIATELY AND IMPROVED ELLEN'S SELFIE

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BY MAKING EVERYONE KEVIN SPACEY.

15

GREAT JOB INTERNET.

16

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, OUR OTHER FAVORITE
MOMENT FROM THE OSCARS.

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- PLEASE WELCOME THE WICKEDLY TALENTED, ONE
AND ONLY ADELE DAZEEM.

18

- YES, SOMEHOW TRAVOLTA'S HAIR WASN'T
THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING HE DID THAT NIGHT.

19

HE COULDN'T QUITE GET HIS WORDS RIGHT WHILE
INTRODUCING INDINA MENZEL, BUT THAT'S OKAY

20

BECAUSE ADELLE DAZEEM, WHO DOESN'T ACTUALLY
EXIST, MADE THIS TWITTER ACCOUNT

21

TO THANK HIM.

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IN GLOBAL NEWS, VLADIMIR PUTIN STUCK A PERFECT
DOUBLE BACK HANDSPRING OUT OF THE

24

OLYMPICS, AND INTO A WAR WITH UKRAINE.
LET'S SEE WHAT THE INTERNET HAS TO SAY.

25

IT'S TIME FOR LET'S MAKE THIS ABOUT MEME.

26

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THIS PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP.

28

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HE'S LIKE A REAL LIFE BOND VILLAIN YOU GUYS.

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WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS ONE MEANS, BUT
WE LIKE THAT HE'S WEARING A FUNNY HAT.

32

WANTS SOME NEWS FROM THE ONLY PLACE
SCARIER THAN RUSSIA? HERE'S SOME COMPLETELY

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REAL HEADLINES FROM FLORIDA.

34

FLORIDA MAN GOT ARRESTED FOR DUI, AND
TOLD THE COPS HE WAS JUST TRYING TO

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DRIVE OFF HIS BUZZ. TRULY THE PERFECT PLAN.

36

FLORIDA MAN WENT INTO A FIT OF RAGE, AND
SMASHED HIS FERRARI WITH A BAT.

37

SEEMS LIKE A TOTALLY CHILL, AND
REASONABLE DUDE.

38

AND LASTLY, FLORIDA MAN TRIED TO USE THE
OLD I THOUGHT COCAINE WAS LEGAL IN FLORIDA DEFENSE.

39

DON'T KNOW WHAT LAW SCHOOL HE WENT TO, BUT
IT SOUNDS EXPENSIVE.

40

ALRIGHT. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

41

BYE.

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