Lizzy the Lezzy stand up comedy videos "SEX TOYS"

Helloooo.

My name is lizzy. And I’m a dyke.

I’ll go down on you when ever-you-like

And when I’m done, it’s all wet and runny

But I like it so much when I’m giving you cunny

I’ll lick you fast, I’ll lick you slow,

I’ll lick you till you motherfuckin’ blow!

And when I’ve had enough of giving you head 

I’ll get you off your back, and I’ll throw you out of bed

you’ll be yelling at me, coz you’ll be gagging for more

But I’ll get you off the floor, and I’ll push you out the door ….

Hehe not really. I’m not like that at all. I’m like “Stay. Please…stay… don’t ever leave me!!” but they do leave me usually. I wonder why?

But there’s nothing worse than a broken heart. Oh the agony, oh the pain, oh the loneliness. oh thank god I bought that vibrator. I have lots of sex toys actually. I’m spoilt for choice. I don’t know what to play with first. This one is green, this one is purple, this one has 5 speeds … and that one has an extra vibrating finger!    

But why do they all have to be shaped like a big fat penis with bulging veins running down the side? Why doesn’t someone make a soft vibrating tongue? They should make one with a mouth and nibbling teeth hehe. That would be fun….

But, at the end of the day. none of these toys are a replacement for the real thing. They can’t cuddle you afterwards, they can’t kiss you and tell you that they love you.  Sigh…Oh well. Must always try to look on the bright side. At least the vibrator knows exactly how you like it.