Lizzy the Lezzy lesbian stand up comedy videos "SEX TOYS" Lizzy the lezzy... more »
Published May 07, 2008 8.4k views More Info »
187 Funny Votes
147 Die Votes
Published May 07, 2008


name is lizzy. And I’m a dyke.

go down on you when ever-you-like

when I’m done, it’s all wet and runny

But I
like it so much when I’m giving you cunny

lick you fast, I’ll lick you slow,

lick you till you motherfuckin’ blow!

when I’ve had enough of giving you head 

get you off your back, and I’ll throw you out of bed

be yelling at me, coz you’ll be gagging for more

But I’ll
get you off the floor, and I’ll push you out the door ….


not really. I’m not like that at all. I’m like “Stay. Please…stay… don’t eve
leave me!!” but they do leave me usually. I wonder why?


But there’s
nothing worse than a broken heart. Oh the agony, oh the pain, oh the
loneliness. oh thank god I bought that vibrator. I have lots of sex toys
actually. I’m spoilt for choice. I don’t know what to play with first. This one
is green, this one is purple, this one has 5 speeds … and that one has an extra
vibrating finger!    


why do they all have to be shaped like a big fat penis with bulging veins
running down the side? Why doesn’t someone make a soft vibrating tongue? They should
make one with a mouth and nibbling teeth hehe. That would be fun….


at the end of the day. none of these toys are a replacement for the real thing.
They can’t cuddle you afterwards, they can’t kiss you and tell you that they
love you.  Sigh…Oh well. Must always try
to look on the bright side. At least the vibrator knows exactly how you
like it.