To The Lady That Robbed Me (with Justine Bateman)

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projectrant

I want to personally thank you for taking it easy on me today.

Some little sliver of good conscience must have been in your head when you sifted through my purse unbeknownst to me.

You also must have known that i was new to the city, and decided to take it easy on me.
you ALSO must have known how completely neurotic I am, because what you took is still driving me crazy.

Which is why you decided to leave my phone, wallet, mp3, and camera.

What did you take instead?

- my last remaining tampon
- 2 pieces of my favourite gum
- my cell phone CHARGER
- the mascara wand, but not the attached bottle
- blue sharpie
- my tim hortons gift card with $1.94 left on it.
- some temporary tattoos from my kids
- and, for your ultimate dick move.. you took all the icing from the dunkaroos my son gave me for lunch, but left the crappy cookies.

Wherever you are, and whatever kind of sick shit you're into.. I hope you're satisfied with your theft, because its hard to find just a mascara wand without the bottle, and that icing would have made for excellent comfort food.

Seriously, fuck you!