(jolly Christmas music)
Narrator>The Night Before Christmas,'Twas the night before ChristmasThat's not how it goes.Yes, it is.Should it be sugar plums?No, I don't think so.Now you're not even trying to rhyme.Do you want me to read to you, or not?OK.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Miss Carey, you keep on putting yourselfYou must have heard it wrong before.Could I see the book?No.Isn't it Saint Nick?Now Dasher, now Dancer,I give up.Then something happenedOh, man, was it Mariah?Mariah Carey."I'm a super-big fan of yours, Miss Carey," I said."Oh yeah, me too, you freaking rule," Santa said.Make it out to Tom, my number one fan.Then Santa and Tom got into a big fightWhat? That's it? Who's Tom?Tom was the man telling the story.Doesn't it end with merry Christmas to all,Sure, whatever.