Starring Ashley Tisdale & Leah Remini Directed by Allison Hord & Rachel Goldenberg Produced by Christin Trogan Executive Producer: Mike Farah Director of Photography: Kevin Stewart Written by Allison Hord Contributing Writer: Erin LaRosa Edited by Bill Parker Pageant Judges: Bob Turton, Lindsay Gareth, & Kate Spurgeon Pageant Mothers: Heather Ayers, Kathryn Burns, Lilan Bowden, Marisa Pinson, Stephanie Allyn, & Celestine Pageant Contestants: Avriella Ford, Mykayla Sohn, Abriana Nuno, Gabriela Gagnon, & Jayla Walker Pageant Host: Drew Droege Audience: Alena Day, Rachel Zake, Ronnie Campagnone, Emma Green, Michael Pinkerton, Devon Libran, Mark Saldana, Caitlin Kimball B-Camera Operator: Andrew Crighton C-Camera Operator: Jordan Martin Behind the Scenes Camera Operator: Liam White 1st AC: Ray Lee Gaffer: Tony Lopez-Cepero Electric: Jordan Downey Grips: Brett Lopes & Jason Brewer 1st AD: Tim Ketchersid 2nd AD: Kendall Anlian 2nd 2nd AD: Lindsay Robinson Production Designer: Caity Birmingham Production Design Assistants: James Godbolt & Vanessa Lin Makeup & Hair: Megan Nicoll, Karan Mitchell, Richard Collins, Ashley Cordova Costume Designer: Aubrey Binzer Costume Design Assistant: Bradley Bowns Sound: Ben Forman & BoTown Sound Graphics by Pat Bishop Choreography by Kathryn Burns Production Assistants: Ross Buran, Max Elfeldt, & Alistair Walford Special Thanks: Bill Perlman, Meg Coogan, & the Residence Inn of Downtown Burbank
Male voiceover: (whispers) Exclusive.
Makenzie: My name's Makenzie, and I'm 4 year's old,
Makenzie: and I'm a beauty queen.
Makenzie: Mommy, I left my Ni-Ni!
Makenzie's mom: We'll grab it.
Makenzie: (cries loudly)
Makenzie: No! I don't know how to put this on!
She tried to bite me.
Leah Remini: When Makenzie was 8,
Leah Remini: uh, we had to pull her out of home school
Leah Remini: so she can focus on the pageants.
Leah Remini: Beauty pageants is what
Makenzie lives for.
Leah Remini: It's her passion.
Leah Remini: Yes, Makenzie still does compete
in the 5 to 7-year-old group
Leah Remini: but we feel that she really does
shine in this particular group.
Ashley Tisdale: Woman, you are driving me nuts.
Ashley Tisdale: My name is Makenzie.
Ashley Tisdale: I'm 25 and 3/4 and I'm
still competing today.
Lilan Bowden: 25, huh?
Lilan Bowden: That's a little old.
Lilan Bowden: Isn't at that point there's
like a special Olympics
Lilan Bowden: for pageants?
Stephanie Allyn: A real freak of nature that one,
Stephanie Allyn: uh, gallivanting around with
her weird body and face.
Ashley Tisdale: (blows raspberries)
Leah Remini: Okay, come on just
a few sprays on your chest
Leah Remini: and then we could put on your [child gear]
Ashley Tisdale: Oh, oh, I'm not
putting that thing on.
Ashley Tisdale: I'm sorry.
Ashley Tisdale: I can't.
Leah Remini: She's been in 5,000
pageants and won 3,213 crowns.
Leah Remini: It makes it all worth it.
Ashley Tisdale: Gross!
Ashley Tisdale: Ni-ni tastes like [unintelligible]
Leah Remini: [unintelligible]
Ashley Tisdale: Don't ever do it again!
Ashley Tisdale: Ahhhh! (cries loudly)
Drew Droege: Please welcome
our little darling dream angels,
Drew Droege: our Little Miss USA pageant contestants.
Ashley Tisdale: Mama!
Ashley Tisdale: Where's my Ni-ni?
Leah Remini: It's right here baby.
Leah Remini: It's for later.
Leah Remini: It's okay come here, come on, come on.
Leah Remini: No, no, come on, [let's
not faint] come on.
Leah Remini: No, no, no, no.
Ashley Tisdale: Get, get!
Ashley Tisdale: Get out of my practice space.
(Hound Dog by Elvis Presley song)
Heather Ayers: I am not worried
about this competition at all.
Heather Ayers: Look at that face, she
cannot not be happy.
Heather Ayers: Are you happy?
Heather Ayers: Louder.
Leah Remini: These parents who complain
about paying for higher education,
Leah Remini: try paying 200 grand on pageants.
Kate Spurgeon: I've spent $300,000
over the last 7 years,
Kate Spurgeon: uh, priming my daughterm,
classes, costumes, make-up,
Kate Spurgeon: false teeth, false eyes.
(American Girl by Tom Petty
and the Heartbreakers song)
Ashley Tisdale: She needs to
lose some serious weight.
loves doing pageants.
Don't you sweetheart?
(Roxanne by The Police song)
(Ready to Go by Little Cowboy song)
Leah Remini: As Makenzie grew, some
of the judges were concerned
Leah Remini: that Makenzie's outfits
were too promiscuous.
Leah Remini: But when she was younger, they were cute?
Leah Remini: Please,
Leah Remini: semantics.
Drew Droege: And without further ado,
Drew Droege: our next little Miss USA pageant winner is
Ashley Tisdale: (screams)
Leah Remini: Whoo!
Leah Remini: Yes!
Leah Remini: That's right.
Leah Remini: Suck it, ladies!
Leah and Ashley: (screams with joy)
Leah Remini: Oh yeah!
Leah Remini: This is why we do what we do.
Ashley Tisdale: Ni-ni.
Ashley Tisdale: (screams loudly)