//PRESS RELEASE - CUFON HQ, Wells, Nevada// The following statement, printed on a... more »
//PRESS RELEASE - CUFON HQ, Wells, Nevada//
The following statement, printed on a scrap of wastepaper found in the vicinity of Union Station, Washington, D.C. may be related to this video clip, which was stored on a thumb drive and found inside an empty can of Diet Coke on a bench near the Folger Shakespeare Library (near the Supreme Court Building).
"Ultra Secret transmission intercepted. Alien visitor, Zaarphon, calls home to report a serious environmental catastrophe and request immediate extraction and rescue. Alien subject identifies a saucer-shaped, possible space vehicle which appears to have been lost or crash landed in the Kumtag Desert of Xinjiang, China.
Alien Zaarphon may be getting aid from denizens of YouTube. In particular, the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK998FtE3XI and several others like it suggest that there may have been some help given to the suspected alien by certain enterprising netizens and Yootubers who we have been monitoring for some time that may have led to the subject's premature discovery of the missing spacecraft. The Office of Interstellar Affairs recommends drastic measures -- perhaps the use of an EMP generator to impede subject's progress toward the deserts east of Lop Nur's dry lake bed. Collaboration with the Chinese government might also become necessary, to ensure that the decoy craft continue to provides some degree of confusion?
Approach subject with caution. Voice stress analysis suggests subject may be highly volatile and panicky. If you encounter this alien, do not attempt apprehension unless you are a trained operative."
Text intercepted from unsecured Blackberry communications between the Bureau of Interstellar Immigrant Affairs, MIB, FBI, CIA, GPS, Interpol and possibly many other governmental and international agencies responsible for maintaining high levels of suspicion, panic, fear and irrational consumer behavior in both the US and much of the "developed" and developing world." « less