(upbeat retro music)
- Hello folks.
We've reached our cruising altitude
so I'm gonna turn off the seatbelt sign.
Sorry, the actual bell is broken.
- We will be walking around shortly with beverage service
so feel free to indicate how much room you want us to leave
so you can pour in the alcohol you snuck on.
- And captain Dave has some advice.
Here's captain Dave's...I'm not saying that.
- Say it, or I'm circling and you'll never see Brittany.
- Here's captain Dave's just the tip.
- Ah, Las Vegas.
The filthy side piece of cities.
I made the mistake of falling in love with her.
So, here are my tips for you to fall in love too.
Tip one, don't underestimate the strip club buffet.
If you're going to the pool the next day,
that food poisoning can really bring out your abs.
Tip two, apparently there's more to counting cards
than just counting cards.
And no, the dealer won't slow down to help.
So do not ask.
Tip three, hydrate.
It's the simplest one and you always forget it.
- Hey that wasn't as disgusting as I thought it would be.
Alright, enjoy the rest of your flight.
Now, I'm gonna tell you about all the ladies
I bedded in the eighties.
- No, no stop it, we're done.