Traveling during the holidays can drive anyone mad. Luckily, a representative from Western Airlines is here to reassure you that this year they will do everything in their power to guarantee you leave their planes with some serious emotional damage.
- December 18, 2016
- 440k Views
Staring - Mary Holland
Written by Langan Kingsley
Directed by Jeff Dutton
Director of Photography - Nate Cornett
1st Assistant Camera - Allan De Leon
Gaffer - Colten Currey
Key Grip - Robert Streeper
Production Designer - Ellie del Campo
Art Director - Vicky Chan
Hair and Make Up Artist - Erin Blinn
Sound Mixer - Danny Carpenter for BoTown Sound
Edited by Ian Skalski
Produced by Andrew Grissom, Luke Esselen and Sean Boyle
December 18, 2016
Mary Holland: Oh hi.
Happy holidays from Western Airlines.
Mary Holland: You know the holidays can be stressful:
Mary Holland: family, presents, weather.
Mary Holland: So this season we want to assure you
that we are doing everything we can
Mary Holland: to make sure your [bleep] gets
as [bleep] up as possible.
Mary Holland: When it comes to holiday travel,
we know you've come to expect
Mary Holland: inconvenience, high costs,
and a weakened immune system,
Mary Holland: but we've gone above and beyond,
and now include emotional distress
Mary Holland: on all domestic flights.
Mary Holland: Traditionally, you've experienced us
[bleep] up your ship by over
Mary Holland: booking flights, separating you
from your spouse by ten rows or more
Mary Holland: and making it
so that your connecting flight
Mary Holland: leaves four minutes after
your first flight lands,
Mary Holland: but this year we're gonna [bleep]
your [bleep] up in all new ways.
Mary Holland: We are proud to provide you with
percent more destroyed luggage,
Mary Holland: 70 percent less available space
and overhead bins,
Mary Holland: and 90 percent more cancelled
flights due to inclement weather
Mary Holland: in a city unrelated to your itinerary.
Mary Holland: You are a cog in the
modern transportation machine,
Mary Holland: and we will burn your
[bleep] up like jet fuel.
Mary Holland: You are nothing to us.
Mary Holland: Nothing.
Mary Holland: You have no choice in air travel.
Mary Holland: You have no one to
turn to if we rock you.
Mary Holland: You are that dirty water
we make coffee with.
Mary Holland: You are the flavorless peanuts we shove
down your throats to keep you quiet
Mary Holland: for an extra minute.
You're a used service item.
Mary Holland: You're trash.
Mary Holland: So this holiday season we
look forward to serving you
Mary Holland: and by serving you we mean seeing how quickly
we can trigger your emotional breakdown.
Mary Holland: Happy travels idiots.
Mary Holland: Oh, also we-- we [bleep] with a
bunch of [bleep] on the actual plane
Mary Holland: like the wheels and stuff.
Anyway you'll see.