Starring: Heather Morris, Riki Lindhome, Ashley Lendzion, Sofia Vergara, Matt Morrison, Cory Monteith, Harry Shrum, and Naya Rivera Directed by Keith Schofield Written By: Heather Morris, Riki Lindhome and Ashley Lendzion Produced by: David Bernad Edited By: Isaac Hagy Song recorded and Mixed by: Ethan Carlson Assistant Editor: Abteen Bagheri-Fard vfx: Ryan Reichenfeld, Dustin Bowser Associate Producer: Christin Trogan Production Coordinator: Lauren Banahan DP: Dan Ainsworth, Michael Rizzi, Brian Mulchy Second Unit DP: Brian Lane AC: Ray Lee Grip and Electric: Tom Pena, Brett Lopez, Julien Lormant, Pat O'Brien Sound: BoTown Sound Production Design: Rachael Ferrara Hair and Makeup: Sara Irving, Shauna O'Toole, and Kristen Berge Production Assistants: Kendall Anlian, Elliot Dickerhoof, Greg Kindra, Max Riesberg, Alistair Walford Featured Extras: Zulu, Nicole Holofcener, Joe Allanoff, Remy Beland, Delaney Sander, Violet Saxon, Adam Koral, Danielle Nashen, Jane Lynch Doll Special Thanks: Ryan Murphy, Melody and Stagg Street Studios, Khani Jo Zulu, Kim Beavers, Jason Weinberg, Evan Hainey, Jen Merlino, Jason Burns, David Branson Smith, Jonathan Bernad, Adam Koral, Rachel Rusch, Ed Saxon, Kathleen McCaffrey and Taryn Southern Very Special Thanks: Las Palmas Hollywood Zulu Tattoo (www.zulutattoo.com)
Riki Lindhome: [Squeals] Oh! They kissed! [Giggles]
Ashley Lendzion: [Giggles] This is the best show ever!
Riki Lindhome: Oh my God. Okay, okay. So, Cory would be my boyfriend, and then Diana, no, yeah, Harry would be my BFF.
Ashley Lendzion: Really?
Riki Lindhome: Yeah!
Ashley Lendzion: Matt Morrison!
Riki Lindhome: No!
Ashley Lendzion: Girl! Yeah! Have you seen that man's abs?!
Riki Lindhome: Uh-uh. My radio dial is turned to all Monteith, all the time.
Ashley Lendzion: Oh, please.
Heather Morris: Seriously, you guys. Out of all the characters on the show, you would choose Cory and Matt?
Ashley Lendzion: Well, who's your favorite character, then?
Riki Lindhome: Not you!
Heather Morris: Like, if I were to choose...
Ashley Lendzion: No, you can't say you.
Heather Morris: Like, if I were to choose, like.
Sofia Vergara: You guys are idiots. Jane Lynch is by far the best Glee cast member.
Ashley Lendzion: Oh, yeah right. So.
Riki Lindhome: No way.
Ashley Lendzion: Simmer down.
Heather Morris: You're just biased.
Sofia Vergara: Ay Por Favor! Comparing Jane to the rest of the cast is like comparing the Great Barrier Reef with a piece of dog sh*t. No offense, Heather.
Heather Morris: Whatever.
Sofia Vergara: Heather is my favorite. I just don't want her to know because I don't want her to think that I'm just a crazy fan that doesn't know the difference between TV and reality. It just makes me want to cut to a musical number.
["Nuthin' But a "G" Thang" Instrumental Plays]
Ashley Lendzion: [Rapping] One, two, three and to the four. If you love Glee come knock on my door. Ain't nuthin' but a Glee thang, baby. Matt Morrison's abs drive me crazy. Tried to make him mine, cops had to taze me. Undeniable, this ain't gonna faze me.
Ashley Lendzion: It's a shame there's only one Matt Morrison. Like the cloned sheep Dolly, I want more of him. If Matt Morrison were boss, I'd work for him for free. Dropping all his calls like I'm ATT.
Ashley Lindzion: Now, I'm Alfred Hitchcock, I'll show up in your shot. Six times been escorted off the studio lot. Hot, silly, Matthew Morrison, acting all aloof. He's got no idea I'm serving warm milk and roofies.
Ashley Lindzion: Cut off my wedding finger, and sent it to Matt. He needs to put a ring on it and send it right back.
Ashley Lindzion, Heather Morris, Riki Lindhome: It's like this, not like that, but like this, and, uh. It's like that, kinda like this, and like that, and, uh. It's like this and like that, and like this, and uh.
Ashley Lindzion: Heather, flip to the mic like a gymnast.
Heather Morris: [Rapping] Well, I'm peepin', and I'm creepin', and I'm creepin'. Brought my Jane Lynch doll, by my side she be sleepin'. Now, let's tap, break is all we fantasize. Snoop Dogg doin' jazz, even he won't survive.
Heather Morris: Sh*t, as I lay me tired eyes to the sleep, I pray for Naya Rivera as my D O double G. Then, we get tats of the whole cast up our back. I'll go, then she'll go, I'll cage her like a monkey rat.
Heather Morris: To add to my collection, I collect some strands of Naya's weave to floss my teeth. Just creepin'. Her and me, like birds and bees. Sh*t I'm hooked like those phonics G L dizzle double E.
Heather Morris, Ashley Lindzion, Riki Lindhome, Naya Rivera: It's like this, no like that, and like this, and uh. Okay like this, no like this, and like that and uh. It's like this.
Heather Morris: Creamsicles are delicious! So just chill, 'til the next episode.
Riki Lindhome: Yo! I got Monteith on my left, Agron on my right, and we're gonna mesh it up all night. In the library we do a musical number, then start a fight for no reason cause we feel so unencumbered. We don't st-st-stutter like we're Jenna Ushkowitz when we drench you in the face with our slushie hits.
Riki Lindhome: We start throwing all the books and causing total mayhem. Make you lose your place cause we don't give a day-um. We do some sweet dance moves don't try to diss 'em, cause we're harder than the Dewey Decimal system.
Riki Lindhome: We feel freer than a credit report, singing Journey. And we won't stop believin' 'til we put you in a gurney. Yeah, you're trying to focus and you want us to go soon, but we're like Steven Segal with a show tune.
Riki Lindhome: If you try to stop us, from doing our reprise, I'll tell you what you can do with your late fees.
Riki Lindhome, Heather Morris, Ashley Lendzion: It's like this, not like that, it's like this and uh. It's like that, not like this, and like that and uh. It's like this.
Riki Lindhome: Fu*k you, Gossip Girl.
Ashley Lendzion, Heather Morris, Riki Lindhome: So, just chill, 'til the next episode. Of Glee.