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Making the most of your half-hour lunch break is tough, especially if you are a temp... more »
Published August 12, 2010 270 views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
David Rocco Facchini - Writer, Director, Actor, Camera
Tressa Ferrella, Mike Gillespie - Actors
Zeda Suswal - Actor, Assistant Director & Camera
26 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
271 Views
Published August 12, 2010
Champ







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<!--StartFragment-->Hi I’m Champ! Welcome to 2-minute meals – quick food
solutions for the office worker whose employer frowns upon a government
mandated lunch break.  I’ll show you how you can make a meal in a jiffy
without leaving the comfort of your office space!

Champ (V.O.)

Last week I showed you how to make Mushroom Risotto by
combining leftover food items left in the communal office kitchen at the end of
the workweek.  Yummy.<!--EndFragment-->


Champ







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<!--StartFragment-->





Now that’s a great recipe
for the end of the week, but what do you do come Monday……when the fridge is
cleaned out completely?








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<!--StartFragment-->Well today I’m going to show you how to make Pulled
Pork and Coleslaw! <!--EndFragment-->

Champ (V.O.)








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<!--StartFragment-->













First, go to your vending
machine and buy a meat snack – You’ll first want to heat
the meat. I recommend using a
fluorescent desk lamp.  Fo
even heating create a tiny spit by skewering the sausages on a pencil.

Champ







<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <br /> <o:DocumentProperties> <br /> <o:Template>Normal</o:Template> <br /> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <br /> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <br /> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <br /> <o:Words>10</o:Words> <br /> <o:Characters>57</o:Characters> <br /> <o:Company>Microsoft Corp.</o:Company> <br /> <o:Lines>1</o:Lines> <br /> <o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs> <br /> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>70</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <br /> <o:Version>10.1316</o:Version> <br /> </o:DocumentProperties> <br /></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <br /> <w:WordDocument> <br /> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <br /> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <br /> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <br /> <w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/> <br /> </w:WordDocument> <br /></xml><![endif]-->Don’t worry about lead poisoning; pencils are now made
from graphite.<!--EndFragment--> 








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<!--StartFragment-->Champ (V.O.)

Place the pencil in a manual pencil sharpener unde
your lamp and rotate slowly and evenly.Check your desk drawe
for leftover condiment packets.Sweet
& sour sauce mixed with ketchup works really well.Add some hot mustard fo
a kick if it’s available. Place the sauces on a hot hard drive and allow to
simmer.<!--EndFragment-->







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<!--StartFragment-->By now your meat snacks
are nice and tender.Remove them from the spit
and push them through your paper shredder. Place
the meat on the hard drive and mix in the sauce.<!--EndFragment-->

Champ







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<!--StartFragment-->Now for the slaw – Did you know that office plants are
edible?  <!--EndFragment-->









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<!--StartFragment-->







Champ (V.O.)

Take a few leafs off the
plant.  A mesh trash can and an
office chair combined work great as a salad spinner.  This
time with an electric pencil sharpener, empty some mayo packets into the
shavings chamber.  Take the cleaned leaves, roll them up and feed them
into the pencil sharpener… <!--EndFragment--> 

Champ

Remember; graphite not lead. <!--EndFragment-->


Champ (V.O.)








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<!--StartFragment-->

Voila – you have instant
slaw! You
meal is now complete.  Thanks for joining me fo
2-minute meals;  Next week, I’ll show you
how to make Popsicles!

Champ



<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]-->



Until
then, Bye bye.<!--EndFragment-->
 <!--EndFragment-->


- END -



<!--EndFragment-->

<!--EndFragment-->
<!--EndFragment-->
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