Breasts (Everything Is Better With) by Peter Prins

Hi, my name is Peter Prins howdy doo. I'm jealous of people with cool initials, how about you? I'm f... more >

Hi, my name is Peter Prins howdy doo. I'm jealous of people with cool initials, how about you? I'm fifty percent Swedish Viking and you know what they say. When you go fifty percent Swedish Viking, you're gonna buy half your furniture at Ikea. I'm a Southern California native, born in Orange County and raised Republican. So of course, I'm kinda sick of elephants. Which is why I like to go to Tijuana, Mexico to check out the donkey shows. In high school I was a computer geek. In fact I was so good with computers, I was voted most likely, to be outsourced to India. And I don't suffer from ADD like most comedians do, instead I suffer from AAS. That's right, almost albino syndrome. In fact, someone came up to me the other day, just to say I was the palest guy they'd ever seen. And that I looked like an Irish cave dweller. All I could think of was I guess that makes me the illegitimate lovechild of Conan O'Brien and Jim Gaffigan. < less