The video opens with a logo that says NFL Films. The shot cut to Tony
Romo standing outside on a football field on a sunny day. He is wearing
a Starter brand hat.
Tony Romo: Hi, I’m Tony Romo. You may have seen me in such places as your local market in a tabloid…
A picture of a tabloid magazine appears next to Tony Romo.
Tony Romo: …or on a football field on a random Sunday.
A picture of a Tony Romo getting ready to throw a football appears on his other side.
Tony Romo: You know, one of the great things about being a professional
quarterback is that I get to be the spokesman for some terrific
companies, like Starter.
The shot cuts to the Starter logo and then back to Tony Romo.
Tony Romo: But that’s just the beginning. In fact, I endorse over fifty
thousand products: everything from arch supports to ball peen hammers.
A picture of an arch support appears and is then replaced by a picture of a ball peen hammer.
Tony Romo: Products like Witten’s brake pads/panty liners.
A picture of package labeled Witten’s brake pads & panty liners with an automobile tire behind it appears.
Tony Romo: Is it a brake pad? Is it a panty liner? No, it’s both.
A picture of a brake assembly appears and is replaced by one of a panty
liner. The panty liner picture is replaced in turn by a picture of a
Tony Romo: Also, there’s Thompson’s Yarmulkes. They won’t ride up on your head like other yarmulkes.
A picture of a yarmulke with the words Thompson’s Yarmulkes underneath
of it appears and is replaced by a picture of a hissing cat wearing a
Tony Romo: There’s ChocoYum, the gasoline that tastes like chocolate…
A picture of gas can that says ChocoYum appears and is replaced by a
picture of an old man standing on a porch and drinking out of the
nozzle of a gas can.
Tony Romo: …and Petro-Yum, the chocolate that tastes like gasoline.
A picture of a candy bar labeled Petro-Yum appears and is replaced by a
graphic of a green face with its eyes closed and tongue sticking out
accompanies by the text - POISON HELP! 1-800-222-1222 – around it.
Tony Romo: I also endorse the great character actress Judy Dench for no other reason than I like Judy Dench.
A brief clip of Judy Dench in a period costume plays in the upper left corner of the video.
Tony Romo: And then there’s Viper Nanny…
A video clip of a small child playing with a dangerous looking snake plays in the upper left corner of the video.
Tony Romo: …Fariq’s brand goat flavored soda. And who can forget GMX protein pickles?
A picture of bottle of pickles labeled GMX Protein Pickles appears with
the image of an African-American man’s head on the label.
Tony Romo: I can because I don’t endorse them anymore. I also endorse Interscope Records, Eminem’s label.
A picture of the Interscope Records logo appears and is quickly replaced by a headshot of Eminem.
Tony Romo: They came to me a little while back and said: Do you mind if Eminem throws you and your girlfriend under the bus?
A picture of a yellow school bus appears.
Tony Romo: I said: No, go ahead, anything for an endorsement opportunity.
The Interscope Records logo appears again.
Tony Romo: I know it seems like a lot, but I stand behind every single
product that I endorse. Kind of. Well, I do stand behind Starter.