Tiger Woods sets the record straight.
Published December 14, 2009 1.2m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Donald Glover
Produced by James Weaver & Lisa Yadavaia
Written by Theodore Bressman
Camera Chris Freilich
Edited by David Weaver
13,332 Funny Votes
2,522 Die Votes
1,172,335 Views
Published: December 14, 2009

Male Voice: Exclusive.
Donald Glover: Oh, hi there.
Donald Glover: I'm Tiger Woods.
Donald Glover: Over the past
couple of days,
Donald Glover: there's been a lot of
speculation about
Donald Glover: me lying,
Donald Glover: me not lying,
Donald Glover: and me lying about
not lying.
Donald Glover: A lot of people say,
Donald Glover: "Hey, you're the luckiest
guy in the world."
Donald Glover: "You're married to a model."
Donald Glover: "Got beautiful kids."
Donald Glover: I guess that's enough
for an average man,
Donald Glover: but I'm above average.
Donald Glover: I'm here to set the
record straight.
Donald Glover: I'm Tiger Woods,
Donald Glover: and I fuck bitches.
Donald Glover: There's a lot of dudes
that fuck bitches.
Donald Glover: I fuck the most.
Donald Glover: And I don't go for the
high type either, oh no.
Donald Glover: No high class here.
Donald Glover: I fuck Chile waitresses.
Donald Glover: Sometimes, I just
go to Big Lots.
Donald Glover: Pick up the biggest
girl I can find.
Donald Glover: Get her to call a dog
the n-word until I cum.
Donald Glover: I want a tiny,
Donald Glover: midget girl.
Donald Glover: I'm gonna glue horns
to her head.
Donald Glover: She's gonna ram
me like a bull.
Donald Glover: I want the sloppiest,
grossest girl I can get,
Donald Glover: and I want to make her jerk
off to a dog pooping on a glass table.
Donald Glover: Then, I make the kid
who wrote Chocolate Rain
Donald Glover: watch that, and if he gets
off to it, then I can cum.
Donald Glover: 'Cause that's how
complicated I am.
Donald Glover: I'm Tiger Woods.
Donald Glover: There's a lot of things
I do and I don't do.
Donald Glover: I don't not win
championships.
Donald Glover: But I do,
Donald Glover: fuck bitches.

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