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Heather Matarazzo uses her outcast expertise to teach teenage girls to be interesting.
Published May 28, 2014 42k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Staring - Heather Matarazzo
Featuring - Abby Bankston, Brianna Mazzola, Ella Shockey and Madison McDermott
Written by Ally Hord
Directed by Lauren Palmigiano
Director of Photography - Daniel “Kenji” Levin
1st AC - Cynthia Hatfield
Gaffer - Kevin Walters
Key Grip - Cameron Bryant
Swing - Neema Zandi
Production Designer - Tricia Robertson
Hair and Make Up Artist - Jennifer Osborne
Sound Mixer - Chris Bennet for BoTown Sound
1st Assistant Director - Andrew Grissom
Production Assistants - Nick Fink
Unit Production Manager - Ryan Scobey
Produced by Sean Boyle
Editor - Caleb Swyers & Keegan Swyers
Special Thanks - Jon Leshay & Elena Monteiro

1

SO, YOU'VE FOUNDED YOUR
OWN CHAPTER OF THE SPECIAL

2

PEOPLE'S CLUB.

3

HI, HEATHER.

4

DID EVERYBODY BRING
THEIR DIARIES?

5

EXCELLENT.

6

WHO'S FIRST?

7

8

HELLO KINDRED SPIRIT.

9

TODAY I HAD A POP QUIZ
IN MATH AND FAILED.

10

JOHNNY PULLED MY HAIR.

11

NOW, WHY DID YOU CHANGE
THE SUBJECT TO A BOY? WHY NOT

12

FOCUS ON YOUR TORTURED
RELATIONSHIP WITH MATH?

13

I DON'T LIKE MATH. I LIKE BOYS.

14

SAID NO WOMAN OF NO EVER.

15

THIS IS WHAT I DO
WHEN I HAVE A CRUSH.

16

I IMAGINE THAT WE'RE MARRIED.
(OFFICE ATMOSPHERE IN THE BACKGROUND)

17

BUT HE'S ALWAYS AT THE OFFICE
AND STAYS SO LATE. SO I'M

18

LEFT AT HOME DRINKING MYSELF
INTO A STUPOR SINGING YOUTUBE

19

KARAOKE. SO, OBVIOUSLY WE
SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MARRIED

20

IN THE FIRST PLACE. WE GET
DIVORCED. CRUSH OVER.

21

WA-LA.

22

BUT MY MOM SAYS--

23

MOTHERS ARE THE ENEMY MADISON.

24

NEXT!

25

I'M HALEY. I HAVE A CAT.

26

(CAT MEOWS)

27

CUTE ELEPHANT.

28

NOVEMBER 30TH. TODAY WAS MY
BIRTHDAY, AND I GOT AN AMERICAN

29

GIRL DOLL, BUT JACKIE SAID SHE
ALREADY HAD THAT ONE.

30

I HATE HER, AND HER STUPID FACE.

31

TAKE HER DOLL, AND CHOP OFF HER HEAD.

32

(CAT MEOWS)

33

WHERE'S YOUR DIARY?

34

I'M PULLING IT UP ON MY TUMBLR.

35

YOUR DIARY'S A POP UP BOX?

36

IT GETS THE MOST HEARTS AND
REPOSTS OF ANYONE IN MY GRADE.

37

THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

38

YOU'RE UGLY.

39

THEY CUT CHECKS FOR MY TALENT.
SO I STRONGLY SUGGEST

40

YOU GET A PERSONALITY BEFORE
YOU END UP ON TEEN MOM.

41

(GASPS)

42

YEAH.

43

(DOOR CLOSES)

44

JULIE.

45

MINES NOT REALLY A DIARY, I JUST
PRACTICE WRITING MY NAME.

46

THIS IS FASCINATING.

47

THIS IS LIKE SERIAL KILLER PENMANSHIP.

48

THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
YOU'RE GOING TO START A BAND...

49

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

50

PICK UP SMOKING.

51

AND READ SOME OF THE DIARIES
OF THESE TORTURED MASTERS.

52

WE HAVE SILVIA PLATH. MAYA ANGELOU,
"I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS"

53

AND CAT POWER.

54

(CAT MEOWS)

55

THIS ISN'T A DIARY.

56

IT'S A CD.

57

SO, IS THIS LIKE AN OLD PERSON THING?

58

59

DROP DEAD LESBO.

60

WHAT IS GOING... WHO ARE YOU AND
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?

61

I'M HEATHER MATARAZZO. I'M YOUR
DOG AMBASSADOR TO THE WORLD.

62

GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE.

63

WE'RE ALMOST FINISHED WITH OUR MEETING--

64

GET OUT!

65

OK.

66

DON'T FORGET. READ THOSE BOOKS.

67

I'M SORRY, I'M GOING. BYE.

68

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE BOYS IN
YOUR ROOM LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGER?

69

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