INT. LOCAL MALL–-Day A CAVEMAN, sitting on a mall bench, is watching a sexy COUGAR... more »
INT. LOCAL MALL–-Day
A CAVEMAN, sitting on a mall bench, is watching a sexy COUGAR look at magazines at a Walden Books.
She sees him checking her out and smiles coyly, than looks away.
He gets up and walks over to her with a slight strut in his walk. It resembles a slowed down, less exaggerated George Jefferson walk.
INT. WALDEN BOOKS–-LOCAL MALL–-DAY
He approaches her while smiling. She looks up, gives a slight smirk, and looks back at her magazine.
Helloooo there pretty la..
He is stopped mid pick-up line by the magazine in her hand. It is called
HAIRY MAN’S QUARTERLY. There is a picture of big foot in a thong on the front with the caption: The polls are in and the sexiest hairy man of the year is… BIGFOOT!
Hey, hey, looks like you’re my kind
of women. Does this do anything for you?
The CAVEMAN unbuttons his shirt and reveals his hairy chest like Superman exposing his S. His head tilts back slightly as he does it, as if to bask in his own hairy glory.
The COUGAR almost attacks him. She runs her fingers through his chest hair as she shudders with pleasure.
Oh, how I have missed the embrace
of a strong… hairy man.
The COUGAR dives her face into his chest and takes a massive sniff of his man musk.
My husband has been out of town for
2 weeks and I just can’t take it anymore.
I might be able to help you with that.
The baby starts CRYING. The cougar bends over to help the child. The CAVEMAN checks out her sweet ass.
What’s the matter? Do you miss your daddy?
The CAVEMAN circles around her with intentions of consoling the baby.
He draws back when he sees how hairy the baby is.
Wow, looks like daddy is a hairy man, too.
She picks up the baby.
Ya, but he looks like a pre-pubescent boy
compared to you.
She strokes his beard.
The CAVEMAN jiggles his leg like a dog.
The baby is GIGGLING at the CAVEMAN.
I think he thinks you’re his daddy.
You want to be my daddy?
She slaps her own butt.
The CAVEMAN smiles.
You want to hold him?
Nah, I always feel like I’m going to
break babies when I hold them.
C’mon. I insist.
She practically throws the baby at him. The baby COOS and GIGGLES.
She reaches into her purse for a piece of paper and writes something on it.
Here, this is my address and phone number.
Call before you come.. My son is at school
She hands it to him and forgets his hands are full.
Looks like your hands are full.
She approaches him, than wraps her hand around him. She puts the paper
in his back pocket, afterwards she grabs his ass tightly. They start making out. It gets pretty sloppy.
Her SON comes into the Walden books.
Plain white scene with words in the middle. They say: Your mom.
It is written like the Geico symbol. Written under in scrolling text is: So easy, a caveman can do her. « less