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Now don’t let diss wun depress ya, less thank uv it like a sellabrayshun! We has... more »
Published April 14, 2014 56 views More Info »
Hey!
This is Loretta Jenkins
and today's How I Seize It topic
is one that is-
It's a heavy one, y'all.
But I'm gonna keep it light and fresh
cause we is on our way to
winnin' the war on AIDS.
Yeah!
Listen y'all,
we have come a long way
since the 80s, hadn't we?
I mean on the downside,
we're all that much close
to knockin' on death's door,
but let's take a moment to
appreciate that we're still here
when a lot of our Fore-Faggots
has done left the party early.
Hell, they wouldn't want me
to be wasteful.
Cheers, Queers!
It's been 30 some odd years
since this AIDS scourge
was placed upon this world
and there's a lot of conflictin' theories out there.
Like some Swedish dude
fuck a rabid monkey
and then he give it to everybody
cause he's like a flight attendant
and he's a bisexual-
You know them's the two biggest
whore groups they is.
Them and the Baldwin family.
Oooh wait, wait!
I mean the Kardashians.
See, back then-
Well I reckon I oughta say 'back end.'
Everybody thought it was just a gay disease,
cause hell, queers didn't digge
they needed to use rubbers
on a count they can't
knock each other up.
I mean wasn't that supposed to be
the pro-side to butt sex?
I mean, it ain't like they let it
get outta hand on purpose.
And then the post-hippie, free-lovin' bisexuals
they opened up the Hivvy store to everybody
so go blame them!
And you can blame that senile asshat
Ronald Reagan.
That prehistoric methuselah,
he acted like AIDS wasn't no thing at all!
It just wasn't there.
"We got it under control here."
Cause you cook this secret virus up
in a lab to just kill all the gays
and substantiate your faith
so you can coach money outta people!
Ain't that right?
You Greedy High & Mighters!
You feel good about yourselves now?
Thanks to science,
and not some invisible flying sketti monster-
What kills babies with
typhoons and earthquakes
Thanks-To-SCIENCE,
we eventually found a way to help
keep folks to have a good life.
Now we can start throwin' around the C-word.
And this time the C-word
we're talkin' about is CURE.
Shit, some folks say it's too early
to be usin' that word, but goddamnit-
Thoughts is things
and we got to believe
that day is nigh y'all.
So we can create it with our mind power.
We got AIDS babies
that ain't showin' no signs whatsonever.
Buncha French fucks got cured.
And did y'all know
that they is a process
what they can wash out the HIV
from the joy juice
and they can make healthy babies from it!
That is a goddamn miracle.
And that just shows that no matter what,
Nature finds a way.
Ugh…
Did I just root for some youngins?
What is wrong with me?
(burps)
Hey,
one of my true blue faggots
got cast in that musical Rent,
which I hate cause its music sucks
and it seem like 85,000 minutes long.
But then,
they go kick him out of the play
cause the co-star didn't want to work
with somebody that was HIV positive.
First off,
you in a theatre with a whole buncha gays.
How can you be that stoop?
Aaaaaaaaand…
You doin' a show about AIDS, you know?
I mean, that's like kickin'
all the Blacks outta Dreamgirls.
What is your problem?
Well anyways I got they ass shut down
and someday, I'm gonna buy back that sumbitch
and I'm gonna call it the
"Ain't-Karma-A-Bitch Playhouse."
(laughs)
I'm gonna name the bathroom doo
for the women's in the backstage,
you know where the stars is…
"The Joyce DeWitt Latrine."
"And Rehab Center."
Yeah there's still them idgits out there
that still believe you can it it
off a toilet seat or out a hot tub
or kissin' but naw-
It's still just from sharin' needles
and nasty blood transfusions-
But we pretty much fixed that with fast testin'.
And of course,
that one thing everybody love.
Bare Hot Monkey Sex Without a Jimmy 'tween ya!
And now. they got this new pill.
This pill what people can take that
ain't already infected with it
and they can repel it!
Or I guess you could settle down
and get married,
but I ain't gonna recommend that.
That's just as a last resort.
So yeah, you fly-over state people?
You need to stop tellin'
your friends and families and neighbors
that this is a gay disease.
That makes the straight youngins
think they ain't got to protect themselves.
You are killin' them with misinformation!
Do you hear me, caprice?
So unless you a virgin,
we are all fuckin' each othe
no matter what your sexuality.
This is ALL our problem,
no matter how close we think
we are to a cure
and that's How I Seize It.
R.I.P. My Angels…
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