Adult film stars Alex Chance, Mercedes Carrera, and Nadia Styles explain the importance of net neutrality.
Published November 13, 2014 4.5m views Immortal More Info »
Full Credits
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Cast:
Alex Chance
Mercedes Carrera
Nadia Styles
Writer - Darren Miller
Writer - Travis Helwig
Director - Alex Richanbach
Executive Producer - Jason Carden
Producer - Eleanor Winkler
DP - Aaron Ulrich
Gaffer - Ricky Fosheim
Grip - Will Hayek
Sound Mixer - Shannon Deane for BoTown Sound
HMU - Brenna Haukedahl
PA - Becca Scheuer
Editor - Michael Burke
Stats & Data
71,212 Funny Votes
46,005 Die Votes
4,521,192 Views
Published: November 13, 2014
Transcript

Nadia Styles: Hello there, it's good
to see you again.
Mercedes Carrera: We're porn stars
on the internet.
Alex Chance: We're here to talk to you
today about net neutrality,
Alex Chance: Which is near and dear
to our hearts.
Mercedes Carrera: Without net neutrality
internet service providers
Mercedes Carrera: could create special fast
lanes for content providers
Mercedes Carrera: willing to pay more.
Alex Chance: That means slow streaming,
Alex Chance: slow social networking,
and yes, slow porn.
Alex Chance: And no one ever yells,
"Slower, slower..."
Mercedes Carrera: Net neutrality mean that
all websites are treated
Mercedes Carrera: equally, and lucky for us
President Obama just stood
Mercedes Carrera: hard and firm on the issue.
Nadia Styles: To quote President Obama,
Nadia Styles: poor people should be able to watch
porn just as fast as rich people.
Nadia Styles: That's my President
Obama impression.
Mercedes Carrera: Unfortunately, Senator Ted
Cruz who is not sexy has taken
Mercedes Carrera: countless donations from
telecom giant Comcast
Mercedes Carrera: and wants to end
net neutrality.
Nadia Styles: Ted Cruz doesn't want me to get
naked for you.
Mercedes Carrera: He doesn't want you
to see this.
Nadia Styles: Or this.
- Or this.
- Or this.
Nadia Styles: Or even this.
Alex Chance: So let's break
this down,
Alex Chance: net neutrality, a.k.a. the
internet as we know it
Alex Chance: is like a giant sex party
where everyone gets to have
Alex Chance: sex with anyone they want.
Mercedes Carrera: Without net neutrality
Mercedes Carrera: that sex party is only
for rich people.
Alex Chance: Ted cruz, and the other old rich guys
don't seem to understand any
Alex Chance: of this.
Nadia Styles: Which is ironic, because
old rich
Nadia Styles: guys always watch
the weirdest porn.
Alex Chance: Like clown stuff.
Mercedes Carrera: Oh, and that net neutrality sex
Mercedes Carrera: party we were talking about,
it wasn't a metaphor, we're
Mercedes Carrera: going to have
one right now.
Together: Ready?
(Funny or Die ending jingle)
Mercedes Carrera: I'd fuck net neutrality.

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